Dream House

When I was a little girl I used to dream about the big mansion I would live in when I grew up. Grand staircases, huge ballrooms, a canopy bed in the bedroom, an indoor pool with warm water and a huge water slide: you know, the usual.

Then I grew up.

Now my dream house is taking on a different kind of look. Oh, I'd like it to be bigger, but not huge. (Unless it came with a maid.) And all the frou-frou castle-like decor? Probably wouldn't look as great with permanent marker and peanut butter and jelly smeared across it. I'm just sayin'.

Nope, my dream house is definitely more mommy-oriented. Here are a few of my ideas:

Kiddo Clean-up Room
This room would be just off of the kitchen or dining room and used to clean off messy kids after meals. It would be big enough to wheel a high chair into, or at least toss 2-3 messy kids. The walls, floors, and ceiling would be tiled and there would be a hose (with warm water, of course) that you could use to wash off the messy little miscreants. The coup de tat? A garbage disposal in the middle of the floor. Think how easy it would be to clean the spaghetti or spinach off of junior! Kids love being sprayed with a hose and the garbage disposal would mean no picking off the larger chunks of food before you clean.

Okay, I guess you could have the same effect if you just put a garbage disposal in one of your tubs. But that's just not as fun.


The Dressing Room
This room would be just four blank walls, no windows, and a cement floor. That's it. In other words, NO DISTRACTIONS. I'd put my kids in there with their clothes and tell them they could come out once they were dressed. No more lolligagging for 45 minutes while you're getting 'dressed', Spencer!


Boys' Media Room
This would be down in the basement. The walls and doors would be sound proof so I wouldn't have to listen to the video games, movies, tv shows, and fighting that they seem to have to listen to/generate at FULL VOLUME. (*Side note: I was in my room, on the other side of the house, the other day and could hear Spencer's video game as if it were in the room with me. I made him turn it down to normal levels, but only after threatening to mute the volume and hide the remote if he didn't stop crying about it. Seriously, am I the only one in this house without impaired hearing?!) I don't know about the decor or what kind of media set-up they would have because I would never set foot in there; it'd be Lance's and the boys' domain. But I know it would be large enough for LAN parties, with electrical outlets spaced every six feet and gaming tables all around the perimeter.


Master Bathroom
Nothing special about this room, unless there is such a thing as a self-cleaning toilet or shower. No, what would make this special would be the waterproof video intercom in the shower. I'd lock the door and monitor the kids while relaxing in the shower. If someone came banging on the door I would be able to know whether or not it was a true emergency. (Blood/missing finger/tornado = true emergency. Wanting juice/tattling/just 'wanting mommy' = not an emergency.) Also, I'd want it equipped with a microphone (with speakers throughout the house) so that if I saw someone misbehaving I could tell them to knock it off. "Joshua Roper Madsen! I see you! Step away from the couch and put the knives back in the kitchen. NOW."


Craft Room
First, I would just love to have a craft room to myself. I kind of do now, but a certain baby boy will be taking it over come the end of May. (And that's okay.) Besides plenty of workspace and storage for all my stuff, I'd need a nice computer and printer, a TV, a mini fridge full of yummy and healthy snacks and a bed with big comfy pillows and blankets. (Because crafting can make you really sleepy!) But best of would be the security system to get into the room. We're talkin' eye scanning technology, people. (As in, the system would do a retinal scan to determine if you could come in or not.)

Yep, not just anyone could get into my room. No one under the age of 18. No one who thinks that paper is only good for ripping and throwing. No one with a face smeared with peanut butter and jelly or fingers greasy from who knows what. In fact, no one with a Y chromasome. (Sorry, Lance.) A few select friends would be invited in occasionally. But other than that - no one in but me!


Garden
My garden would be huge. And well-maintained. And beautiful. Mainly because I would have three or four gardeners to help me. :) There would be veggies and fruit trees and flowers and whatnot. But the best part would be the hammock. I've always wanted a hammock. I would go out there all the time to 'read and relax' (i.e. read 5 minutes before falling asleep). We'd have plenty of hammocks so that no one would feel the need to come jump on mine. Heaven.


Okay, those are some parts of my dream house. What are some of yours?

Spencer's Inauguration Review

I was a horribly mean mother this morning. Instead of letting my kid watch cartoons or play video games I forced them to watch the inauguration with me. Oh, the patriotic humanity!

Spencer actually enjoyed seeing the past presidents walk out and learni that they were presidents when mommy was born, in school, first married, etc.

Spencer: Mommy, who was president when you were five like me? Because I'm five.

Me: Um, Ronald Reagan.

Spencer: Where is he?

Me: He died. He was really old.

After which Spencer would see a past president, including Clinton and George W. and exclaim, "Boy, they are really old! They're going to die some day."

Way to catch on to mortality, Spence.

He also enjoyed the music playing while the important men and women came out. He gave it quite high praise: "It sounds like Dumbo music! The music from Dumbo. Wow!"

What can I say? He was right.

During the actual oath I made the boys be quiet and watch, mainly so I could actually hear. (Did anyone else think he looked a bit nervous? And who wouldn't be?!)

Maren: See, now he is president because he said the oath of office.

Spencer: He's president now?

Maren: Yes. Because he said the oath.

Spencer: Yeah, because he knows how to do that now.

Maren: Um, he knows how to be president now?

Spencer: No. He's president because he knows how to say what that man said and say it again.

Maren: He's president because he can repeat things that other people say?

Spencer: Yes.

Maren: Zing!

Proportions

The amount of housework done in my home is proportional to the cold temperatures outside: the lower the temperature the less housework done.

Conversely, in the summer the amount of housework done in my home is inversely proportional to the hot temperatures outside: the hotter the temperature the less housework done.

Which is why my home is at its cleanest in the spring and fall.

COLD

Today was the coldest day in Indiana 12 years. We woke up to a temperature of -29 degrees.

That's Fahrenheit, people.

It's cold. Too cold. I'm just sayin'...

Potty Training

The other day Josh specifically asked me for the 'little potty' that he had seen in the garage. I was thrilled. Ecstatic. Did this mean he was ready to start potty training? Did the book he got from his uncle for Christmas have anything to do with this? Was he going to make up for all the grief and trouble he's caused me by being an early and easy potty trainee? (Because that would make up for it. All of it.)

Nope.

After sitting on the potty twice (fully clothed), Josh had a different kind of training in mind.

Specifically, taking the potty apart and using the different parts as buckets to throw balls into.


Yep. That's my boy.

Bread of the Month - Manna From Heaven (a.k.a. Pitas)

Lance was a bit dissappointed that my bread of the month was pitas. Why? Since they're sooo simple and sooo yummy, I make them quite a bit. He was hoping for something a bit more exotic. Next month, I promise.

Now, a little background.

I fell in love with pitas 10 years ago when in Israel. Israelis and Palestinians: bad at getting along, geniuses with the flat bread. And the falafel. Before then I had never had real pitas, only that nasty cardboard stuff you get at the grocery store. (Which I have never had since, by the way.)

We got fresh pitas every day while we were there. A fresh pita with a couple of small cucumbers for lunch? HEAVEN. You know Nazareth, where Christ spent his childhood? I went there and don't remember a single thing except the bakery that sold the world's best pitas. I think you're starting to get the picture here.

Anyways, pitas are easy to make and yummy to eat. Anyone can make them. No really - anyone. It's go time.

I like to use Joy of Cooking's recipe. (Oh, how I love that book. Go buy it. Now.) I also like to use my stand mixer. I wouldn't make half the bread I do without it. Not that you can't make bread without a stand mixer - it's just a lot more work.


Dump 3C of flour, 1 1/2 TBL sugar, 1/2 tsp salt, and 4 tsp yeast into the bowl. Mix it a bit. Then add 2 TBL melted butter and 1 1/4 C room temperature water.


Now it's time to mix. But first we must stop and admire how I have my stand mixer attachments hanging in my cupboard.


No more awkward attachments falling out and getting in the way. Hooray for 3M hooks!

Back to the action. Mix all of the ingredients. Mix it good.


Then knead that dough. Knead it good. Until it's tacky but not sticky. (You might have to add a little more flour.)


Put the dough into a well oiled bowl, and roll the dough around to get it covered. (I just use the same bowl it was mixed in, sprayed with cooking spray.)


Then cover it with a clean towel and let the dough rise at room temperature for 1 to 1 1/2 hours. (The recipe says to cover it with plastic wrap, but I'm a rebel that way.)


After it has risen punch the dough down and divide into 8 equal parts. (Zyliss sighting!)


Roll the parts into balls and place on a lightly greased surface. Cover with a towel and let rest 20 minutes. Try to keep your uber-curious toddler from flattening them all when your back is turned. Good luck.


Okay, here comes the part that might scare some people. I don't know why, but it seems like it could be scary. Heat your oven up to 450 degrees. I have a pizza stone and it works great, but you can also use an upside down cookie sheet. Whatever you use, make sure it's in the oven and rip-roarin' hot.

Roll out your dough to 1/8th of an inch thick. Don't mock my amoeba-shaped pitas; the dough was a little sticky today. Yeah, that's it...


Next, spray several sprays of water into the oven. I don't know why. I'm sure it has something to do with the humidity. Whatever, just do it. Wait 30 seconds.


Then toss a couple of those bad boys onto the pizza stone or cookie sheet.


Bake for 3 minutes and remove. I use my tongs because that's what I have.


Then let the pitas cool for a few minutes before digging in. (Ignore the chicken in the background - it's waiting to be put into the curry I made for dinner.)


Nothing's worse than burning your mouth on hot pitas and not being able to eat any more.


And more. And some more.


There you go. Manna from heaven: the pita.

Snow Day

Remember my winter weather forecast? Unfortunately, the magic of the snow thrower didn't last.

By 3:30 this afternoon there was a good four inches of snow on the driveway that needed to be moved before Lance got home. So I bundled up the kids, tried to button up my snow pants (they don't fit around the belly anymore for some odd reason), and we fired up the new snow thrower.

Verdict?

One of the Best. Investments. Ever.

I cleared the driveway and sidewalks in less than 15 minutes. Which was perfect, because that's exactly how long the boys lasted in the 10 degree weather.

I have named our lovely snow thrower Elsa. Yes, it's a girl. And yes, I lurve her.

Before it got too cold I was able to snap a few snow pictures of the boys. Josh was so excited to be big enough to really play in the snow. He kept running around saying "This is really great snow! It's so great!"