Self-portrait Tuesday: Red!

**Update: I should give Lance a littel more redit.  He noticed my hair cut (which was really just a trim and styled a little differently) about 10 minutes after coming home.  He noticed the color about an hour later.**

There comes a point in every woman's life when she has to take a stand against one of the more tragic side effects of childbirth: gray hair. Okay, I know you don't have to have kids in order to get gray hairs. But I didn't start getting them until after I had Spencer. And I started getting even more after Josh. And even MORE once Josh turned two. (Coincidence? I think not.)

I like to think I'm not too vain. I'm never gonna be one of those face-lift-botox old ladies, hell-bent on reversing the inevitable. However, I'm only 30. And those grays, however few, were really beginning to bother me.

Plus, I was kinda bored with my hair.

So here's a before shot.


And here's about two hours later.


Waddya think? I really like it. It's actually a bit brighter red than I expected, but I still like it. It looks darker from farther away, but up close it's pretty red and edgy and makes me feel like a rock star. So do the leather pants.

Kidding.

Anywho, I thought I would hate coloring my hair. But I actually liked it; it wasn't that bad at all. This could be dangerous. I feel a blond bombshell coming on...

(Again, kidding! Or am I?...)

(Answer: yes. I would look stupid as a blond. But it's fun to imagine.)

Oh - and as of this posting Lance has yet to notice my hair. Then again, he hasn't come home yet, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. I'll keep you posted.

Oh wait - he just walked in the door. Nothing. Nada. This could be funny/interesting. Again.

I Made It Myself - Snuggle Blankie & Book

I made it myself again! I know, I'm just as surprised as you are. After making Joshie's blankie I was informed by Spencer that he had to have a 'snuggle blankie' as well. So we went to the store, he picked out the fabric, and I made yet another quilt. (I believe if I make one more it's considered a habit.)

I was actually impressed with Spencer's choice of froggie fabric - I think it's pretty cute. I added the polka dot and stripy fabric for a little variety. They aren't colors I would normally choose, but I really like them.


I made the squares 6x6" and used a 1/2" seam. The quilt is 9x10 blocks. I even invested in a pair of these so I wouldn't get blisters this time when snipping the ends.


Spencer luuurrrrves the snuggle blankie, which makes it all the more worthwhile.


I don't know if this really counts, but I also made a book. I got a coupon for a free 8x8" photo book from Snapfish.com a few weeks ago and decided to make an ABC book for the boys. The program to make the book was really user-friendly and it only took me a couple hours one evening to make the entire thing. I found pictures from the past year for each letter of the alphabet.


My favorite page is "U and V are for Underwear Vacuuming". Oh c'mon, that's awesome.


I took the book to church last Sunday and the boys loved it. It kept them entertained and quiet for a good 10-15 minutes - a miracle if nothing else! Without the coupon the book would have been $40, but with the coupon I only had to pay for shipping and taxes - $8. Totally worth it.

Easy as 123

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Freakshow

Who are the freaks -

those who can roll their tongues...


... or those who can't?


Are you a freak?

Impetuous

I'll be the first to admit that I am sometimes a bit impetuous when I start new projects. I'll start a project without really thinking it all the way through, only to realize that it's much bigger than I anticipated. Or, even worse, I don't really know what I'm doing. Not that that stops me; it just makes things harder and longer. And I always finish the project, because I'm stubborn like that.

Anyways.

Yesterday I was out in the front flowerbed planting some new mums and bulb plants and trimming and tidying up and whatnot. Things were going well. Spencer and Josh were helping by staying out of the way and playing in the street. (I wish I were joking.) It wasn't too hot and I was getting lots done. I was happy that my flowerbed looked so nice this year.

Except for one thing.

That stupid bush.

I bought it a couple summers ago for only $20 at a local nursery. I should have known that $20 was too good a deal. It was called a dogwood bush and was supposed to flower in the spring and have pretty red leaves in the fall.

Not so much. Instead, it looks pretty good for about half the summer, and then develops some disease in the summer and fall that makes it have ugly purple spots and dead leaves all over.

It was mocking me.

It had to go.

So I started hacking and chopping and tearing it out. I chopped and hacked and chopped some more. Then I tried digging out the roots. Emphasis on the tried.

For comparison, here is what the bush looked like on the 4th of July. It's the one behind the day lilies. (It was about half again as big yesterday.)


And here's what it looked like after I tried getting it out.


Yeah, a little pathetic. Okay, more than a little.

I just couldn't get those stupid roots to give an inch! It really likes where it's planted, because it just wouldn't budge. Even with both my feet on the shovel, using all my weight as leverage.

Still mocking me, with its stupid leaf-stripped twiggy branches.

But no worries - I'll just bring out the big guns this weekend to get it taken care of. (Big Guns a.k.a. Lance) He'll use his impressive muscles and tear that bad boy out. And then I'll have a nice, rather large, empty spot in my flower bed. (Why oh why didn't I just wait until winter?!)

But no worries again, because I know the perfect thing to help fill an empty spot in a flower bed this time of year: pumpkins. And lots of them.

Only five more days, people.

An Actual Conversation I Had Today

(Side note: we had been discussing Halloween and monsters earlier.)

Me: Spencer, what do ghosts say?

Spencer:  Huh?

Me: Ghosts.  Halloween.  What do ghosts say?

Spencer: Their prayers.

Me: Wha?  No, no... I... okaaaayyy... what do ghosts say in their prayers?

Spencer: Help!  My pigs are missing!

Me: ???  Omigosh!  You are so funny!

Spencer: Yeah, I know.

I'm Wrong

Apparently I'm wrong.  All the time.

At least according to Spencer, my four-year-old know-it-all.  We'll be talking about something completely ordinary, when suddenly I hear the now-familiar phrase "No Mommy.  You're wrong." from Spencer.

Oh.  Excuse me.  I didn't realize that the sky was green, not blue.  Pardon my faux pas.  

Oh wait - I'm not wrong.  You are.

"No Mommy.  You're wrong."

Here are just a few of the things I have been wrong about lately:

• We put 12 gallons of gas in the car.  Even though the gas pump clearly said 13.
• That's a high school.  Oh, it's not a high school?  It's a library?  My bad.
• I apparently drive 362 mph down our street - not 30.  My speedometer is clearly off.
• It is Wednesday, not Tuesday.  Definitley not Tuesday.  The calendar and I are both wrong.
• Spencer's birthday is in 17 months, not three.  Nevermind the fact that I was the only cognizent one at his birth involved in this conversation.
• Oh, we don't need purple mums to go with the other purple mums in the flowerbed that I made, maintain, and labor over?  We need one yellow one?  And you do all the work in the flowerbed?  Whatever.  (Actually, he didn't win this one.  But he sure put up a fight.)
• You go to bed at 62:50, not 7:00?  Really?  Well, okay.  Hey, waddya know?  It's 62:50 now!
• Oh, that milk costs $10 a gallon?  Even though it's marked at $2.75?  (This was at Sam's Club, in case you're wondering where I get my cheap milk.)  Ten dollars, huh?  That's pricey, but I guess we'll have to pay it.

You get the idea.  Most of it's really stupid and not worth the effort to argue over.  And it shouldn't bother me at all, because he's four and just trying to show his independence and maturity and whatnot.

But it does. 

It really, really does.

And it bothers me even more that this bothers me in the first place.

It gets to the point where I just want to take him by the shoulders and shake him until he admits that he's wrong and I'm right!

But then I turn around and see him smiling sweetly (if a little smugly) up at me, waiting for my answer.

Yes, Spencer, you're right.  You certainly did drive the car all by yourself to Grandpa's house when you were a little baby.  I'm wrong.

Bad Apple

In honor of the first day of fall, I thought it would be fun to go apple picking for Effin' Aych Eee. (FHE or Family Home Evening, for those not in the know.) What could be more Fall-like than picking apples with your family in the glow of the setting sun? Idyllic, really.

We happen to have some friends who have a bunch of apple trees and who were only too happy to have someone come and take them off their hands. Free apples? Even better! Even more idyllic!

Things started well. We enjoyed a nice drive out in the country. It's so pretty now, at the beginning of fall, before what I like to call 'the blight' (a.k.a. winter) sets in.

We got there and hiked back to the orchard. It took us a while to find a tree that looked promising; most of the trees hadn't been pruned or sprayed in years. We finally set to work, but the pickings were somewhat slim. Bummer. I also forgot my camera. Double bummer.

The boys amused themselves by harassing an unlucky caterpillar and rolling around in the poison ivy. (Josh eventually 'loved' the caterpillar to death in his chubby little hand.) And when that got old, they whined and wanted to use the apple picker themselves and wanted to be held. Josh cut his hand. Spencer had to go to the bathroom and refused to go in the bushes by himself. Not exactly conducive to a happy family evening.

We finally got a laundry basket full and headed for home. Poor Josh; he was exhausted, bloody from his cut, and had briers stuck all over his clothes. Of course he had a melt-down. What two year old wouldn't? The ride home was not pleasant. It was the opposite of pleasant. It was loud and long and to top it off I felt itchy all over, sure that I had poison ivy. Lance snarkily asked if my free apples were really so free now.

So. Good idea. Bad execution. But I've already got plans for the winter solstice. What could go wrong on a family ice fishing trip?

Serenity. Now!

I love my lavender plant. I think every lady should have one in her garden. Not that I'm a lady. But still and whatever.


From now on I'm going to have lavender in all my gardening endeavors. I love the smell of their flowers, and I just think they're pretty. And calming.

The boys could be screaming like drunken banshees, running through the house spitting apple bits at each other while simultaneously trying to use their toy dump trucks as roller skates (none of that beyond the realm of possibility), and I could just look at my lavender and feel calm and peace.

I wouldn't. But I could.

Primary Proverbs - Homework

Today's Sharing Time lesson in Primary was really good. (My 2nd counselor, Leila, gave it. Kudos to you, Leila!)

She told the children (and I'm totally paraphrasing here) about how her family had bought some pigs this week. The pigs escaped from their pen, her family prayed to Heavenly Father to help them find the pigs, and they found them a few days later. She related this experience to how Heavenly Father hears and answers all our prayers, and that sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes the answer is no, and sometimes the answer is later.

The kids were entranced. I haven't seen them be so reverent since... well, ever.

I obviously need to incorporate more barnyard animal stories into my Sharing Time lessons.

When we got home from church Spencer brought up the pig story. I decided to try to be a good mom and do a little Sharing Time 'homework'. It went a little something like this:

Me: So Spencer, what happened to Sister Gardunia's pigs?

Spencer: They ran away. Oink oink OINK!!!

Me: Yep, they ran away. So what did they do?

Spencer: They ran away and hid.

Me: No, what did Sister Gardunia's family do?

Spencer: They looked for them. OINK!

Me: Yeah, but what did they also do? Who did they ask for help?

Spencer: They found them! They found them by the chicken coop!

Me: Yes, but what did they do to find them? It's something you do every time we eat. Or every night, before you get into bed?

Spencer: I don't know.

Me: Spencer, what do you say every night before you go to bed?

Spencer (in all seriousness): Help! My pigs are missing!

Me: *sigh* Uh, Spencer, you say your prayers. Sister Gardunia prayed for help, and they were able to find their pigs.

Spencer (as if I'm an idiot): Pshhh... yeah.

Me: Good talk, son.

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Does anyone else have a problem with their kids on Sunday mornings? Mine are pretty good about getting dressed and ready most days of the week, but on Sundays they turn into MONSTERS. Suddenly Spencer can't even put his pants on correctly, let alone those tricky black Sunday socks. And Josh... don't even get me started on Josh. Let's just say it's not pretty.

It's like they just know that I'm at my most vulnerable Sunday mornings. I need to get to church early to make sure the Primary room is set up, and Lance is never home because he has to go early for bishopric meetings. I'm outnumbered and desperate. And we all know that children can smell desperation and fear - and then use it to their advantage.

Sometimes they do things on purpose to try to make me late: have tantrums, refuse to eat breakfast, suddenly lose the ability to walk. That type of thing. And then there are times where really random stuff happens. Like today. I was just about to get Josh dressed. As he was running away from me (per usual) he fell down and biffed it pretty hard (also per usual). He started crying (you guessed it - per usual) and so I picked him up (not usual - he usually makes a big deal about falling down just so I'll pick him up). I put him on his bed and left the room to help Spencer with something. I returned to discover Josh and his bed covered in blood. Just covered. He had skinned his knee during the fall.

Miraculously (and I don't use that term lightly here), he hadn't gotten any blood on me when I carried him to his room or on his church clothes, which were on his bed.

I quickly cleaned and bandaged him up, threw his bedding into the wash, and wrestled with him for the next 10 minutes to get him dressed. And I still got to church 15 minutes early. Not bad.

Okay, so what's my point to all of this?

I like Sundays - just not Sunday mornings.

Punch it, Chewy!

Josh has turned into Chewbacca.  Emphasis on the Chew.  

That boy has turned into a chewing freak lately.  He chews EVERYTHING.  And the weird thing is, he's got all his teeth; he's not teething.  He just wants to chew and destroy.

I should have taken pictures of all the carnage, but I just don't have that much time on my hands. Instead, here's a brief and incomplete list of the things he has chewed just this week:

• At least eight book corners (paper and cardboard covers)
• The corner of his new train blankie (grrrr...)
• The face of his Clifford stuffed animal (creepy)
• The corner of a cardboard box in our office (really - I walked in and found him on all fours, chewing away)
• His styrofoam up at Sonic (And not the top of the cup. No no no no... he chewed a hole in the middle of the cup, creating a nice little spout for his Sprite.  Thanks, Josh.)
• Spencer's construction paper circle he made at preschool (sorry Spencer)
• The swing set (Okay, he didn't chew on it long.  But he tried.)

Now excuse me.  I think I hear someone gnawing through the wall...

My Little Boys

A small boy, mischievous to the imp degree.

-- Rea Murtha


A small son can charm himself into, and out of, most things.
-- Jenny de Vries


If I have a monument in this world, it is my son.
-- Maya Angelou


My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
-- Mark Twain


Of all the animals, the boy is most unmanageable.
-- Plato

Palin-mania

Well, no matter your political leanings, this is funny:


(If you can't view it, see it here.)

And while Palin is on my mind, what up with the odd names of her kids? Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper. Willow? Really?

Well, whatever. But I found this cool site that shows you what your name would be if you were born into the Palin clan. Here are our names:

Maren - Stinger Assassin Palin
Lance - Claw Washout Palin
Spencer - Meat Notgay Palin (my personal favorite)
Josh - Rankle Highway Palin

What would your name be?

Ouch.

While I was making lunch this afternoon I dropped a rather small but fantastically heavy marble cutting board on my foot.

Ouch.

OUCH.

It really hurt. I nearly fell to the floor, but instead hose to save my composure and hang precariously onto the counter as the boys looked on.

Within seconds my foot was swollen in several places, with little indents of where the sides of the cutting board hit me. And one part was taking on a decidedly purplish-redish color.

I hobbled around with ice on my foot, finishing lunch and then eventually putting Josh down for a nap. (He fell asleep within ten minutes! A miracle! A blessing! A sign that putting blackout curtains up and turning the lights off does the trick!)

I had plans of mowing the lawn and doing some cleaning this afternoon. With this foot? Not so much. So I did what any mother in my position would do: I put Spencer on the computer and took a nap on the couch. It was great. Except for the throbbing foot and all.

Here are a couple pictures of my foot.


They're not very good, but it's surprisingly hard to take a decent picture of your own injured foot. But I think you can still see some of the swelling. And mind you, this is after a couple ibuprofen, lots of ice, being elevated for several hours. (Side note - my ankle is not muddy. It's a birth mark. When I was a kid I used to scrub and scrub to get it off. Still no success there.)

Oh, and on the way to get said ibuprofen I stubbed a toe pretty soundly and then banged my arm on the door nob, which is now growing a rather impressive bruise.

I really shouldn't be allowed around myself.

Self-Portrait Tuesday: Even When You Lose, You Win

I've decided that bunko is best at Tiffany's house because she give out prizes even when you don't win.

Okay, maybe not really, but kinda. She sent everyone home with a caramel apple. And I also got this glass measuring cup that she inherited from someone and didn't need. Sweet. (And good job hosting, Tiffany - it was great!)


And yes, my smile is a little funky in this photo. That's because I came home at 10:15pm to discover Lance playing video games in the office and Josh still awake in bed. Tomorrow is gonna be sooo fun. (Catch that? That statement was as sincere as my smile. Oy.)

I Made It Myself - Flannel Quilts

I'm so excited - this is the first time I've been able to participate in the Crafty Conservative's I Made It Myself blog carnival.

Oh don't look so surprised. I can make things.

For the past few weeks I've been hyping up the idea of sleeping in a big boy bed for Josh. Our conversations would go a little something like this:

Me: Josh! In a few weeks you get to sleep in a big boy bed, because you're a big boy. Isn't that cool?

Josh: No.

Me: Yes! It will be fun!

Josh: No way. No big boy bed.

And then one day our conversation took a different turn:

Me: Josh! In a few weeks you get to sleep in a big boy bed, because you're a big boy. Isn't that cool?

Josh: No.

Me: Yes! It will be fun!

Josh: Choo-choo train blankie on big boy bed.

Me: You'll sleep on the big boy bed if you have a train blankie?

Josh: Yes.

Me: Deal.

At which point we shook on it. Just kidding. But I was more than willing to get this kid a train blanket to get him sleep in a bed. I looked around for a while but couldn't find anything I liked, so I decided to make him the train quilt.


It turned out pretty well, I think. (Excuse the not-very-well-made bed. It's hard to make it look decent when you have a two year old jumping on the bed in between shots.) I decided to do a frayed edge just to shake things up a bit. Plus, it's easy. I liked the quilt, but I don't know that I love it. But no matter, it got the job done.


Josh loved the quilt. In fact, he loved it so much that he tried to carry it all over the house. So I decided to make him a smaller rag quilt.


I love this quilt! It was so easy to make and it looks really cute! I used 6" quilt blocks with a 1/2" seam. The quilt is 8x8 blocks.


Josh has since reneged on his end of the bargain; he does all he can to not sleep in his bed. (Last night he slept on the floor. Whatever, Josh.) But it's too late. I have caught the rag quilt bug. Spencer has already informed me that he needs a 'snuggle blankie', and I am making plans for a Halloween/pumpkin themed quilt.

Lessons learned? Bribing your child can sometimes be okay. Flannel rag quilts are easy, fun, and cute. And never expect a two year old to uphold his end of a bargain.

Mystery Gift

****POST UPDATE****

In case you didn't see the comments, this is a pumpkin holder.  The giant spike at the base probably should have clued me in.  I also probably could have gone to the website and figured it out, but this was way more fun.  And I didn't think of it.  (I was too busy having 'fun' reorganizing the boys' room.  With Josh's 'help'.)

Anywho, here's a picture from the site:

With the plethora of lawn and front porch ornaments in my neighborhood, I will now fit in!  (Well, at least at Halloween...)

Thanks, Dad!

****UPDATE FINISHED****

Okay Dad, you've stumped me. What is this?
It came with one of the catalogs you showed me this summer, but nothing else. I don't even know if I put it together right...

Anyone else have any guesses?

Who Needs Sleep?*

For the second day in a row Josh hasn't had his afternoon nap. (Which he so desperately needs!) And for the second night in a row the boys are giving us a really hard time about going to bed.

Here's why:


That's right! We have put the boys in the same room.

(Important side note: no, I am not pregnant. Everyone thinks that when we tell them about putting the boys in the same room. We just figured they're going to be in the same room eventually, so we might as well just get it over with.)

I bought the loft bed at IKEA a few weeks ago, and Lance and I have been painting it red the past week. Yesterday we spent most of the morning putting it together. I think it looks pretty good!


Joshie is excited to sleep on a big boy bed.


Spencer is excited to sleep on the top bunk...


but not especially excited about getting down. (He's a little nervous coming down. But that's okay - I'd rather have nervous than fearless.)


Putting the bed together and reorganizing both bedrooms (tomorrow's job) is the easy part. The hard part is going to be getting these two yahoos to get used to this and go to sleep. Just as I knew he would, Josh will not stay in bed. (Hence the non-napping.) And Spencer can't keep quiet. I feel like this is a rite of passage for the children and the parents. How long could this continue? Weeks? Months? I guess the real question is, will we all survive?

Here's just a little sampling of the conversations I have recently heard in there while they are supposed to be going to sleep:

Spencer: Knock knock

Joshie: Who's there?

Spencer: Crackerjack.

Joshie: Who's there?

Spencer: Crackerjack.

Joshie: Who's there?

Spencer: Baaa! Mommy!
****
Joshie: Mommay!

Spencer: Mommy! Joshie's not going to sleep!

Joshie: Mommay! Mommay! MOMMAY!!
****
Spencer: Joshie, look at my arm! It's huge! It's shadow is huge!

Joshie: Arm is big! Boing boing! (jumping on the bed)
****
The sound of the door opening and little feet walking out.
Joshie: Goodnight, Spencer! Go to sleep!

*Bonus points and my respect to the person who can tell me who sings this song.

There's No Such Thing as Too Much Cake

We had a Luau for our ward activity last night. Kudos to Tiffany for doing such a great job in planning it! (I've been a ward activities chair person more times than I care to count, so I know how much work goes into it.)

We were asked to bring a tropical dessert, so I made Banana Coconut Tres Leches cake. (Okay, I know tres leches is Spanish. But I don't care - it's dang good.)

Yes, that's two cakes in less than three days. That's how we roll. (And we'll be rolling ourselves out the door if I don't stop making cakes...)

Decision '08: Spencer's Choice

My little brother, Kevin, got to spend a week at the Republican National Convention with a bunch of his Young College Republican buddies. No matter what your political preferences are, doesn't that just sound cool? Especially with all the brouhaha around Palin and her speach. Again, no matter who you're voting for, that was history in the making and probably pretty cool.

Anywho, while Kevin was Republicanning and doing a little undercover work for a newspaper (for reals - maybe I'll have him guest blog about it) he picked up a couple of cute elephants for the boys. Isn't he the coolest Young College Republican uncle ever?

The boys love them. They run around the house making elephant noises. They have water fights while the elephants 'squirt' water out of their trunks. And best of all (at least for the boys), the elephants love to fly and become missiles. (I was hit by Joshie's elephant - twice - tonight during family prayer. He is not a very reverent little elephant.)

Now it's time to stop teasing and answer the question I know is on everyone's mind: who is Spencer voting for this year? Did Kevin's bribe... I mean gift... sway him to vote Republican? Or is he waiting to see if any stuffed donkies show up in the mail soon? Watch the video and find out. And then laugh, because kids can be really dead-on right, even if they don't know it.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Cake of the Month - Joshie's Birthday!

Ladies and gentlemen...

WE HAVE A CAKE SUCCESS!

Maybe it was the nine months of practice I've had.  Or perhaps I receive special cake blessings for birthday cakes.  Or maybe it was the fact that used parchment paper and baker's spray and threatened the cakes, their children, and their children's children that if they stuck so help me...

Whatever it was, it worked - my cake layers came out great!

I used Mom's Layer Cake with Fluffy Chocolate Frosting, in my old standby The Cake Mix Doctor.  Why?  Because when I asked Joshie if he wanted a train birthday cake he looked at me like was crazy and said, "No, chocolate."  

It actually has dark chocolate frosting, but that's because I only had dark chocolate powdered coco.  Yum.  And I used M&Ms because Josh loves them and they're easy to decorate with.  It was slightly uneven on top, but only because I wasn't willing to try to level the top with a knife and I got tired of trying to flatten the frosting.  (I know to quit while I'm ahead!)

And most importantly, it tastes great.  Josh even demanded some for breakfast this morning. And won.  Hey, sometimes it's just not worth the fight. (And he only ate about a 1/3 of the small piece I gave him.)

Which reminded me of this.  Classic.