Dear Best Buy

Dear Best Buy,

Please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE fix my TV. Now.

It's been broken since December 13th. That's a long time without a TV, dudes. Especially when you have two little kids at home and several snow days. COLD, can't-spend-more-than-10-minutes-outside-to-play snow days.

We paid for the warranty. Stop making excuses. I don't care if the part is back-ordered. I highly doubt there is only one place in the entire world that makes or carries the part we need.

Stop making excuses, trying to get me to wait for the back ordered part. My five year old can come up with better excuses than you.

And for the love of Pete, if our account says it's missing information, CALL ME AND ASK FOR IT. I know you have our phone number because that's how you access our account. Don't wait for me to call and they say "Oh wait - we do have all of your info. I'll reprocess the application."

Seriously.

I'm about ready to charge into your store and go all Crazy-Pregnant-Lady-with-a-Grudge-and-Firm-Grasp-of-the-English-Language on you.

And you don't want that.

Trust me.

So. Just fix the frickin' TV like you said you would.

Thank you.

Spencer Has Drunk the Kool Aid*

Today in the car...

Spencer: blah blah blah blah blah

Me: Uh huh... uh huh.... uh huh...

Spencer: Today is a new day, Mommy! There will be change and it will be great!

Me: Uh... huh?! What was that?

Spencer: Today is better because there is change because Barak Obama is president. It's good.

Me: Okaaaayyy... no more Oprah for you.

Spencer: What? No, Barak Obama.

Joshie: Baraka Obamama!

We are actually a pro-Obama household. But not radically so; we've never had the signs or the pins or even talked about it much, at least in front of the kiddos. We don't think he's a savior for the nation like some people do, but we do respect and like him.

But I do watch the news a lot. And I did watch Oprah after the inauguration... well, for a little while. Then all the hero worship got a bit much for me. I didn't think Spencer paid any attention to any of it, but apparently he has!

I'm not sure what type of change Spence thinks is going to occur. I'm pretty sure Obama's "Extra Time on the Wii and More Candy for Dinner" policy is pretty similar to mine.

*Here's a definition, in case you don't understand the reference.

Productive Snow Day

Today was a snow day - no preschool, no working out, nada. Lance had to take my car to work because his wimpy one wouldn't make it up the hill, which meant I was stuck at home all day with the kiddos.

I could have spent the day doing some much-needed cleaning: vacuuming, dusting, mopping.

But did I do that? Nope. I spent the day making some much-needed receiving blankets for Baby Boy Madsen #3. Because the 73 or so that I already have just might not be enough.


Hey, no matter the birth order number, every baby deserves at least a few new blankets and clothes. Who am I to deny him that?


The boys spent the day whining, playing with some neighbor kids, fighting over Wii, running around like lunatics, and then complaining loudly when I made them clean up all their messes. However, they did leave me alone long enough to let me sew in (relative) peace.

So... a very productive snow day all around.

Self-Portrait Tuesday: Unwed Mother

Here I am at week 21. In case you're keeping count (and I know you are!), yes, I did skip a week. But that's because at my ultrasound they moved my due date* up by 10 days. This has happened for all three of my pregnancies. In true overachiever style I grow my babies fast! (Because trust me - I know all the correct dates and such.) So I feel completely and totally justified in saying that I'm 21 weeks now. I'm on the downward slope now, people!

And this is how I feel about being 21 weeks. (Tired. And a little amused.)


And here's my new wedding ring.


Right about now I usually start getting swollen in the evenings, and, waddya know, I've started getting swollen fingers. Right on cue. So rather than deal with a stuck real wedding ring, for each pregnancy I buy a larger, fake ring. (I'm not so much into the looking like an unwed mother.) This year I went for the bling bling, although it was the smallest ring the boys wanted me to buy. They're all about the HUGE bookie-type ugly rings that could maim a person if used correctly. Josh's particular favorite had a large, pink heart as the center stone. Spencer's favorite had many colors and was about an inch wide. Lovely.

*All due dates are completely fictional and mythical. Mine always seem to move around. Ironically, though, Josh was born on his. Then again, for how long I was in labor with him he should have been born the day before.

Time to Vote!

It's time to vote - and this time it's waaayyy more important than that election held way back in November.

Remember my spectacular Hair Flair Holder? (And how could you forget it, really? I mean, it's not like your life is awash in Hair Flair Holders, right?)

Anyways.

Christy's January Craft Challenge is over, and it's time to vote for which craft you like best. Which means it's time to vote for mine. Unless you made something yourself, in which case I guess you can vote for mine, but we all know you still like mine best. :)

Anyways. Again.

Go HERE to vote. (Mine is the first entry!) Vote early and vote often. The polls close on the 30th.

If I win I will receive a $20 gift certificate to a craft store and the next month's challenge free. Plus, and this is the most important part, the fame and glory of being the first winner ever. (I just got a little tingle.)

So go and vote (for me) - it's your civic duty.

I Am Thankful For...

Some days all you can do is give yourself a time out, take a deep breath, and try to think of the things you are thankful for (rather than the things you could do without). Today was one of those days. Here are a few that come to my mind:

I am thankful for:

• Such a WONDERFUL Primary presidency to help me at church.
• Such AWESOME Primary and Nursery teachers!
• New Sunbeams who eventually realize that being in Primary is way more fun than sitting with me in the crying room.
• My two cute little boys, who actually behaved this morning while we got ready for church.
• Light, fluffy snow. (As opposed to heavy, wet snow.)
• Cute maternity dresses. (I know, I thought it was an oxymoron, too. But then I miraculously found one.)
• A good husband who is willing to play Wii with Spencer all Sunday afternoon.
• Sneaking in a 45 minute afternoon nap.
• Our warm home. Because it is dang cold outside again.
  
• This jiggling, dancing baby inside me. (Off the bladder, please!)
• The few moments I am actually able to listen to something at church. They're few and far between, but at least they come!
  

One Track Mind

I think I'm a fairly social person. Those of you who know me well, is that a fair assessment of myself? I enjoy hanging out with friends and having good conversations. I like entertaining people and just spending time with other adults. (Adults, in general, don't whine or throw tantrums or wipe their messy noses on my bed. Unlike some little boys I know...)

But when I'm pregnant I find myself becoming less and less social. I find myself in social situations and just don't... care. I don't know. When I'm normal (i.e. not growing another human being) I jump right in to a conversation or get myself involved with whatever is going on. But when I'm pregnant, I'm fine just sitting there with my thoughts.

For example, when I was pregnant with Josh I remember sitting in Relief Society and not wanting to sit next to anyone or have anyone sit next to me because then I would have to talk. Instead of sitting up front like I normally did, I would hide in the back. I distinctly remember a new sister in our ward sitting down next to me, and I knew I should introduce myself and be friendly and such, but I just couldn't. I literally couldn't do it. I think I just sat there and scowled to myself, hoping she wouldn't notice me.

I don't think I act mean or rudely - I certainly don't intend to be that way. It's not like I would intentionally ignore someone or call them names and pick fights. I'm just... not myself. Does that make sense? Oh - and it's not all the time. Just some of the time, and I can't determine any rhyme or reason to it.

I'm pretty sure it has something to do with my wacked out hormone levels. High or low, something's not right. And the further along I am in my pregnancy, the more introverted I feel myself become. It's like my poor hormone-riddled brain can only focus on one thing: growing that baby. It hasn't the time nor the capacity to have a conversation or socialize. I picture it just repeating this mantra over and over: "Grow that baby! Grow that baby! Grow! Grow! Grow that baby!"

Okay, obviously the hormones make me a little crazy in other ways as well. (Images of talking brains and all.)

Okay, we all know I can't really blame the hormones on all of my oddities.

So.

My point is this:

If you see me between now and the end of May and I'm acting a little standoffish, just know that it's definitely not you. It's all me.

And my talking brain.

Christy's Craft Challenge: Hair Flair Holder

Have you heard of Christy's Craft Challenge? Why not? I mean, seriously, are you living under a rock or something? (Sorry - I get cranky and a little anti-social when I'm pregnant. But that's a topic for another post.)

Here are the basic rules: Christy sends you a packet of stuff and you have to make something crafty using all of the stuff. (Stuff - now that's descriptive, Maren. Way to use your vocab.) ((Dang it! Now I'm being cranky with myself!)) Anyways, you can use as much or as little of each of the supplies (there, that's better than 'stuff') and you can supplement with other crafting supplies. Then you submit your creation in the hope of winning fantastic prizes and fame and glory. What more could a girl desire?

I was one of the lucky few to get to participate in the first challenge. Here are the supplies I received in the mail:

Green cardstock
Black embroidery floss
Five silver brads
Three rubberbands
Some cute fabric

Before I even got the packet I decided I wanted to make something that was useful - something that I needed and would actually use. I didn't want to make something just for the sake of it, only to throw it away in a few months. (Oh yes I would - I've never been accused of being a pack rat.) That's why it took me so long to get this done - I couldn't think of anything!

But finally inspiration struck - in the form of hair. Well, not hair so much as all of my hair accoutrements. Now that my hair is longer I find myself using and buying a lot more ponytail holders, barrettes, clippies, etc. And I didn't have a good place for them and they were spilling all over the place and really bummin' me out. So I decided to make a cute cover for a used (but clean!) tin can to hold all of my hair flair. (Like the name? I came up with it myself!)

So here we go.

First, I had to make the cover. I would have used the fabric Christy sent, but there wasn't enough. So I rifled through my fabric stash and found something that matched. I measured and cut.


Then I sewed 1/2" seams around all four sides. (I didn't exactly make them clean, since you won't see them.) ((Oh, and side note: I had a two year old "helping" with this entire project, hence the not-exactly-strait edges and such. Not that I'm the world's best seamstress, but Joshie's help didn't really help, either.))


Once I got this far I realized I had made it long enough to fit exactly around the can - but not overlap. I was going to make it button on, but that wasn't going to work now. Dang it! So I decided to just use ribbons to tie it on.


Then I realized that the sewing job on my ribbons? Not so pretty. So I decided to add those buttons on anyways. There, much cuter.


Next, I needed to make a background for my label. Time to use the fabric Christy sent.


Then I needed to make the label, for which I used the paper she sent. I could have used the computer to make the lettering nicer, but I was (am) lazy. I decided to make the label 3-D (is that the right term?) by using the embroidery floss to make cute little hair.


Then I used the brads to look like little hair flair. *Disclaimer* I never claimed to be an artist, hence he funny looking face on here. And Josh 'helped' with the nose, hence it's odd shape and enormity. Oh well. Once again I was too lazy to fix it.


Then I sewed the label onto its background, and the background onto the cover.


Ta-da!


Don't think I forgot the rubberbands - I put them around the tin can to help keep the cover from sliding all over the place.


Here's a picture of the back with the ribbons and such. If I made one of these again I think I'd skip the bows and just wrap the ribbon around the buttons. (It's a little busy for my taste. But does it really matter, since it's in the back?)


And here's the finished product:


And a few more shots, because I know you want 'em.


There you have it. The whole project took me a little over two hours, but that included Joshie's 'help' and me watching old episodes of Lost, both of which probably slowed me down a bit.

Dream House

When I was a little girl I used to dream about the big mansion I would live in when I grew up. Grand staircases, huge ballrooms, a canopy bed in the bedroom, an indoor pool with warm water and a huge water slide: you know, the usual.

Then I grew up.

Now my dream house is taking on a different kind of look. Oh, I'd like it to be bigger, but not huge. (Unless it came with a maid.) And all the frou-frou castle-like decor? Probably wouldn't look as great with permanent marker and peanut butter and jelly smeared across it. I'm just sayin'.

Nope, my dream house is definitely more mommy-oriented. Here are a few of my ideas:

Kiddo Clean-up Room
This room would be just off of the kitchen or dining room and used to clean off messy kids after meals. It would be big enough to wheel a high chair into, or at least toss 2-3 messy kids. The walls, floors, and ceiling would be tiled and there would be a hose (with warm water, of course) that you could use to wash off the messy little miscreants. The coup de tat? A garbage disposal in the middle of the floor. Think how easy it would be to clean the spaghetti or spinach off of junior! Kids love being sprayed with a hose and the garbage disposal would mean no picking off the larger chunks of food before you clean.

Okay, I guess you could have the same effect if you just put a garbage disposal in one of your tubs. But that's just not as fun.


The Dressing Room
This room would be just four blank walls, no windows, and a cement floor. That's it. In other words, NO DISTRACTIONS. I'd put my kids in there with their clothes and tell them they could come out once they were dressed. No more lolligagging for 45 minutes while you're getting 'dressed', Spencer!


Boys' Media Room
This would be down in the basement. The walls and doors would be sound proof so I wouldn't have to listen to the video games, movies, tv shows, and fighting that they seem to have to listen to/generate at FULL VOLUME. (*Side note: I was in my room, on the other side of the house, the other day and could hear Spencer's video game as if it were in the room with me. I made him turn it down to normal levels, but only after threatening to mute the volume and hide the remote if he didn't stop crying about it. Seriously, am I the only one in this house without impaired hearing?!) I don't know about the decor or what kind of media set-up they would have because I would never set foot in there; it'd be Lance's and the boys' domain. But I know it would be large enough for LAN parties, with electrical outlets spaced every six feet and gaming tables all around the perimeter.


Master Bathroom
Nothing special about this room, unless there is such a thing as a self-cleaning toilet or shower. No, what would make this special would be the waterproof video intercom in the shower. I'd lock the door and monitor the kids while relaxing in the shower. If someone came banging on the door I would be able to know whether or not it was a true emergency. (Blood/missing finger/tornado = true emergency. Wanting juice/tattling/just 'wanting mommy' = not an emergency.) Also, I'd want it equipped with a microphone (with speakers throughout the house) so that if I saw someone misbehaving I could tell them to knock it off. "Joshua Roper Madsen! I see you! Step away from the couch and put the knives back in the kitchen. NOW."


Craft Room
First, I would just love to have a craft room to myself. I kind of do now, but a certain baby boy will be taking it over come the end of May. (And that's okay.) Besides plenty of workspace and storage for all my stuff, I'd need a nice computer and printer, a TV, a mini fridge full of yummy and healthy snacks and a bed with big comfy pillows and blankets. (Because crafting can make you really sleepy!) But best of would be the security system to get into the room. We're talkin' eye scanning technology, people. (As in, the system would do a retinal scan to determine if you could come in or not.)

Yep, not just anyone could get into my room. No one under the age of 18. No one who thinks that paper is only good for ripping and throwing. No one with a face smeared with peanut butter and jelly or fingers greasy from who knows what. In fact, no one with a Y chromasome. (Sorry, Lance.) A few select friends would be invited in occasionally. But other than that - no one in but me!


Garden
My garden would be huge. And well-maintained. And beautiful. Mainly because I would have three or four gardeners to help me. :) There would be veggies and fruit trees and flowers and whatnot. But the best part would be the hammock. I've always wanted a hammock. I would go out there all the time to 'read and relax' (i.e. read 5 minutes before falling asleep). We'd have plenty of hammocks so that no one would feel the need to come jump on mine. Heaven.


Okay, those are some parts of my dream house. What are some of yours?

Spencer's Inauguration Review

I was a horribly mean mother this morning. Instead of letting my kid watch cartoons or play video games I forced them to watch the inauguration with me. Oh, the patriotic humanity!

Spencer actually enjoyed seeing the past presidents walk out and learni that they were presidents when mommy was born, in school, first married, etc.

Spencer: Mommy, who was president when you were five like me? Because I'm five.

Me: Um, Ronald Reagan.

Spencer: Where is he?

Me: He died. He was really old.

After which Spencer would see a past president, including Clinton and George W. and exclaim, "Boy, they are really old! They're going to die some day."

Way to catch on to mortality, Spence.

He also enjoyed the music playing while the important men and women came out. He gave it quite high praise: "It sounds like Dumbo music! The music from Dumbo. Wow!"

What can I say? He was right.

During the actual oath I made the boys be quiet and watch, mainly so I could actually hear. (Did anyone else think he looked a bit nervous? And who wouldn't be?!)

Maren: See, now he is president because he said the oath of office.

Spencer: He's president now?

Maren: Yes. Because he said the oath.

Spencer: Yeah, because he knows how to do that now.

Maren: Um, he knows how to be president now?

Spencer: No. He's president because he knows how to say what that man said and say it again.

Maren: He's president because he can repeat things that other people say?

Spencer: Yes.

Maren: Zing!

Proportions

The amount of housework done in my home is proportional to the cold temperatures outside: the lower the temperature the less housework done.

Conversely, in the summer the amount of housework done in my home is inversely proportional to the hot temperatures outside: the hotter the temperature the less housework done.

Which is why my home is at its cleanest in the spring and fall.

COLD

Today was the coldest day in Indiana 12 years. We woke up to a temperature of -29 degrees.

That's Fahrenheit, people.

It's cold. Too cold. I'm just sayin'...

Potty Training

The other day Josh specifically asked me for the 'little potty' that he had seen in the garage. I was thrilled. Ecstatic. Did this mean he was ready to start potty training? Did the book he got from his uncle for Christmas have anything to do with this? Was he going to make up for all the grief and trouble he's caused me by being an early and easy potty trainee? (Because that would make up for it. All of it.)

Nope.

After sitting on the potty twice (fully clothed), Josh had a different kind of training in mind.

Specifically, taking the potty apart and using the different parts as buckets to throw balls into.


Yep. That's my boy.

Bread of the Month - Manna From Heaven (a.k.a. Pitas)

Lance was a bit dissappointed that my bread of the month was pitas. Why? Since they're sooo simple and sooo yummy, I make them quite a bit. He was hoping for something a bit more exotic. Next month, I promise.

Now, a little background.

I fell in love with pitas 10 years ago when in Israel. Israelis and Palestinians: bad at getting along, geniuses with the flat bread. And the falafel. Before then I had never had real pitas, only that nasty cardboard stuff you get at the grocery store. (Which I have never had since, by the way.)

We got fresh pitas every day while we were there. A fresh pita with a couple of small cucumbers for lunch? HEAVEN. You know Nazareth, where Christ spent his childhood? I went there and don't remember a single thing except the bakery that sold the world's best pitas. I think you're starting to get the picture here.

Anyways, pitas are easy to make and yummy to eat. Anyone can make them. No really - anyone. It's go time.

I like to use Joy of Cooking's recipe. (Oh, how I love that book. Go buy it. Now.) I also like to use my stand mixer. I wouldn't make half the bread I do without it. Not that you can't make bread without a stand mixer - it's just a lot more work.


Dump 3C of flour, 1 1/2 TBL sugar, 1/2 tsp salt, and 4 tsp yeast into the bowl. Mix it a bit. Then add 2 TBL melted butter and 1 1/4 C room temperature water.


Now it's time to mix. But first we must stop and admire how I have my stand mixer attachments hanging in my cupboard.


No more awkward attachments falling out and getting in the way. Hooray for 3M hooks!

Back to the action. Mix all of the ingredients. Mix it good.


Then knead that dough. Knead it good. Until it's tacky but not sticky. (You might have to add a little more flour.)


Put the dough into a well oiled bowl, and roll the dough around to get it covered. (I just use the same bowl it was mixed in, sprayed with cooking spray.)


Then cover it with a clean towel and let the dough rise at room temperature for 1 to 1 1/2 hours. (The recipe says to cover it with plastic wrap, but I'm a rebel that way.)


After it has risen punch the dough down and divide into 8 equal parts. (Zyliss sighting!)


Roll the parts into balls and place on a lightly greased surface. Cover with a towel and let rest 20 minutes. Try to keep your uber-curious toddler from flattening them all when your back is turned. Good luck.


Okay, here comes the part that might scare some people. I don't know why, but it seems like it could be scary. Heat your oven up to 450 degrees. I have a pizza stone and it works great, but you can also use an upside down cookie sheet. Whatever you use, make sure it's in the oven and rip-roarin' hot.

Roll out your dough to 1/8th of an inch thick. Don't mock my amoeba-shaped pitas; the dough was a little sticky today. Yeah, that's it...


Next, spray several sprays of water into the oven. I don't know why. I'm sure it has something to do with the humidity. Whatever, just do it. Wait 30 seconds.


Then toss a couple of those bad boys onto the pizza stone or cookie sheet.


Bake for 3 minutes and remove. I use my tongs because that's what I have.


Then let the pitas cool for a few minutes before digging in. (Ignore the chicken in the background - it's waiting to be put into the curry I made for dinner.)


Nothing's worse than burning your mouth on hot pitas and not being able to eat any more.


And more. And some more.


There you go. Manna from heaven: the pita.

Snow Day

Remember my winter weather forecast? Unfortunately, the magic of the snow thrower didn't last.

By 3:30 this afternoon there was a good four inches of snow on the driveway that needed to be moved before Lance got home. So I bundled up the kids, tried to button up my snow pants (they don't fit around the belly anymore for some odd reason), and we fired up the new snow thrower.

Verdict?

One of the Best. Investments. Ever.

I cleared the driveway and sidewalks in less than 15 minutes. Which was perfect, because that's exactly how long the boys lasted in the 10 degree weather.

I have named our lovely snow thrower Elsa. Yes, it's a girl. And yes, I lurve her.

Before it got too cold I was able to snap a few snow pictures of the boys. Josh was so excited to be big enough to really play in the snow. He kept running around saying "This is really great snow! It's so great!"