Lenten Blue and Gold

Okay, I'll be the first to admit that I don't know much about the Catholic faith.  Especially Lent.  I mean, I know the basics (and what can be found on Wikipedia), but to me, in my blissful ignorance, Lent has always been associated with some sort of suffering.  I know it's supposed to be more like a willful sacrifice or penance.  But still, I associate it with suffering.

Which is why having to go to the Cub Scout Blue and Gold Banquet seemed to be appropriate this week.

Okay, I know, I have a bad attitude.  But you'd have a bad attitude, too, if you woke up to your toddler coming out of his room with two handfuls of poop.  That's right - I said two.

Let's just say it was not an easy morning.  Cole woke up with the poop and then basically had tantrum after tantrum all morning.  I don't know what his problem was, other than that his day started with two handfuls of poop. 

Let's also just say that it was a long afternoon as well.  Cole was SUPER TIRED, and yet I couldn't get him to take a nap.  None of my tricks worked.

So by the time the evening rolled around, I knew we'd be in for a real treat at the Blue and Gold Banquet.  Actually, any church activity in the evening is a real treat lately.  This is mainly because they always serve the food much later than expected, making Cole not only tired but also hungry and angry.  This also makes Spencer and Josh whiny and hungry, and, for some inexplicable reason, hyper.  And all of this makes for frustrated and rather-be-home-but-we're-here-because-we-know-we-should-be Mommy and Daddy.

Anywho, it was about as expected.  Cole was a complete and noisy PILL the entire evening, Tess wanted to be held the whole time, and Josh and Spencer were excited and hyper and couldn't stay in their seats if their lives depended on it.

I must have done something bad recently, because talk about penance...

Anyways, I only got a few pictures in, and most of them involve Tess.  This is because at one point the only way I could keep her happy was to take pictures of her.  She's at that stage where no matter what's going on she will always smile for the camera.  This is pretty awesome and handy.

A random picture of a rather shaggy-looking Josh.  He had a great time mainly because he only had desserts for dinner.

That's me... behind Tess.

And there's super-grouch Cole... behind Tess.

And Lance!  Lance was there, too... behind Tess.

Here's Spencer getting his Bobcat and his first advancement bead.  I guess moms get to go up whenever their sons get a rank achievement.  I even got a pin.  Woo. Hoo.  (I still have a bad attitude.  I'm working on it...)  ((Just thought of a silver lining - at least they didn't give me a patch.  I would have thrown it back at Spencer's awesome scout leader.  However, I'm pretty sure anyone who had read my post would have understood...  But that's not the point.  The point is, it was a pin, not a patch, and so that makes it a little better.))

Well, what can I say, other than that we survived.  Hopefully that's enough suffering for a good long while...

p.s.  I just want to make sure that any scout leaders reading this understand that my bad attitude in no way has anything to do with you or the Cub Scouts.  It's my rotgut kids.  Specifically, my tremendously rotgut toddler.  Boy howdy...  Anyways, we actually have some really awesome Cub Scout leaders right now, and I'm so glad they're willing to serve our boys (and us!) in this way!

Banana Tantrums

Hey!  We're still here!  In fact, we're all pretty much better.  Spencer stayed home from school yesterday and today, but he's going back tomorrow. Oh boy, he is Going Back Tomorrow.

Okay, so we're all over the flu, but we're all still feeling a little funky and gross and tired.  Lots of tantrums and crying and frustration.  It's been a long couple of days. 

In fact, this afternoon Cole had a good tantrum over the fact that his banana broke in two and couldn't be put back together.  As in an on the floor with feet flailing kind of tantrum.  (His fists would have flailed as well, but they were holding pieces of banana.)

It's been a banana tantrum kind of day.

But it's not all bad - I actually cleaned and organized the toy closet this morning.  No small feat in the best of times, let me tell you.  The hardest part was sneaking certain toys into the garbage can or Goodwill pile. (Shesh, kids!  I say sheesh!)

So, hopefully now that we're getting back to normal my blog postings will follow suit.  Hey, with this banana tantrum we're already halfway there.

The Stomach Flu's Hit List 2.0

Cole

Tess

Maren

Josh

Spencer

Lance

The flu got poor Spencer this evening.  That means Lance is now the last man standing.  How long do you think he can hold out?  Well, if I were a betting woman, I would bet that Lance will dodge this bullet.  This is based on the fact that he hardly ever gets sick.  (Whereas I get all of the germs.  Lucky me.)  So we'll see.

Cole got sick again last night, so who knows - we might be seeing a round two of this madness.  I'm really, really, REALLY praying that it was just a random thing and not a sign of things to come for the rest of us.

We all stayed home from church today in order not to spread all our germs.  You're welcome.  I feel like we need some sort of plague flag outside our front door or something.

I'm starting to feel decent again, unless I stand up for too long.  Then I get nauseous and am worthless for a good 15 minutes.  Hopefully I'll be over this part soon or the house is gonna look just awesome.  And by awesome I mean disgusting.

I wish I had a good story or joke or something funny the kids said.  But I don't, because the flu is not much for good stories, jokes, or saying funny things.  Sorry.

The Stomach Flu's Hit List

Cole

Tess

Maren

Josh

Spencer

Lance

Only Lance and Spencer remain standing.  Cole and Tess have stopped having major symptoms, but still aren't eating very well.  Josh was up half of last night being sick, has only had around 5 hours of sleep, and is now running around down in the basement and feeling perfectly fine.  What's up with that, Josh?  And me?  I was up being sick half of Thursday night, wallowing in my misery all of yesterday, and then up with Josh again last night.  (We had him in our room so he wouldn't wake Cole up.)

During all the fun last night I realized that I've had the flu during February for at least the past 5 years. 

I hate February.

Love Songs

As I've mentioned before, every January I put together a movie of all the best pictures and videos we've taken the year before.  The kids love watching themselves and the grandparents enjoy the grandchild eye candy.  (Well, at least I assume they do.  They haven't asked me to stop sending copies of the Time Capsules (as we call them), so I'll take that as a good sign.)

Generally, the music that I use includes songs the kids really liked from that year or just random MP3s I have on our server.  But for important events that happen I like to put a little more thought into the music.  For example, for the section that showed all the pictures of our move from Utah to Indiana I used Green Day's "Time of Your Life".
     Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
     Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
     So make the best of this test and don't ask why
     It's not a question but a lesson learned in time
     It's something unpredictable but in the end is right, I hope you have the time of your life

Clearly I thought moving to Indiana was this big adventure that would lead us to all sorts of other places.  Seven years later... never mind. 

For my mom's funeral I used Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", not just because the music seemed so fitting, but also because my mom's last trip before she went into the hospital was to Hawaii.  I remember calling her while she was there, and she was eating room service breakfast on the balcony of her hotel room, reading a book and watching the boats in the water.  (My dad was at some conference.)  I could tell she was having a great time and was just happy and content.  That's how I best like to remember her.

On a less serious note, I of course used "One Love" for the section on our cruise.  We heard that song at least 10 times a day!  But I used the Glee Cast version, which was far less annoying.  I also used "Jump In The Line" by Harry Belafonte, because, hey, it's a fun song.

But the sections I think the hardest about are for when I have a baby.  I want to make the song extra special; something that reminds me of them and the happy time when each child was born.  I want each child to think of me when they hear that song, and to know that I love them.  I want the song to have meaning for them.

I've often wondered if the kids notice these songs, and I got my answer a few weeks ago from Spencer.  He was asking about the 2011 pictures and when I would be done with them.  Then he asked which song I would use for Tess.  What?  "You use a song for each baby.  Which song will be Tess's song?"

Well, it made my momma heart proud to hear that!

When Spencer was born I knew immediately which song I use: "Your Song" by Elton John.  When I was pregnant with Spencer he would always move around whenever I listened to Elton John music when I was commuting to and from work.  And after he was born I could often get him to calm down in the car by turning on good ol' Elton.  (Of course, he seemed to like "Yellow Brick Road" and "Crocodile Rock" best, but those didn't exactly have what I was going for. :)
     I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
     That I put down into words
     How wonderful life is now that you're in the world

For Josh I used the song "Little Things" from Sesame Street.  Mainly because of the obvious awesomeness associated with 9lb 15oz Josh in the last lines of the song:
     I believe in little things
     Like you and me
     And just how big
     Little things can be
Plus, the song is pretty calm and soothing, which is what I needed while dealing with baby Josh.  Oooh boy.

For Cole I went a little more mainstream with the Plain White T's "1, 2, 3, 4".  I remember clear as day that Cole smiled for the first time while I was changing his diaper and singing that song to him.  And he would always smile when I sang that song to him after that.  The song is light and happy, which was how Cole's baby days were.  He was such an easygoing and happy baby!
     I'm so glad that I found you.
     I love being around you.
     You make it easy, as easy as 1 2,(1 2 3 4.)
     There's only one thing two do     Three words four you.
     I love you.
     There's only one way two say those three words
     And that's what I'll do.
     I love you
And finally, there's Tess.  It took me a while to come up with a song for her.  Everything I thought of at first was either too cheesy or too obvious.  Then one day the song just popped into my head: "Here Comes the Sun" by the Beatles.  I don't know why, but it just seemed perfect.  I've always been a Beatles fan, and this song seemed especially appropriate for welcoming our little girl into the family!     Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
     Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
     Here comes the sun
     Here comes the sun, and I say
     It's all right

Hopefully my kidlets will recognize and remember these songs in years to come as the love songs their momma gave them.

Poor Cole, Poor Josh, Poor Me

I forgot to set my alarm this morning and woke up 40 minutes late.

Dang.

But perhaps the Lord new I needed those 40 extra minutes, because as I was making breakfast Cole walked into the kitchen, said  "Hi Mommy" and then promptly threw up all over the rug by the kitchen sink. 

Silver lining: since he hadn't eaten anything all night it wasn't too... chunky... if you know what I mean. Plus, everything was on the rug, which made for easy clean up.

So I scrapped my plans for aerobics and errands that morning, but knew I still needed to get Josh to preschool.  It was Pancake & Pajama Party day, and it would have been unthinkable to miss it!

We got everyone ready and loaded into the minivan.  I bribed Cole, who was not so keen on going, with watching Dumbo.  Josh complained, but I told him it was either this or not going at all.  He wisely kept silent after that.

The ride to preschool was uneventful.  Unfortunately, once we got there Josh realized that he had left his snack and drink at home.  (He had been horsing around with Spencer and I had reminded him several times to get his snack.  Humph.)  He was UPSET.  I rummaged around and found a snack in my purse and told him he could have that and that his teachers would give him some water or something.  Don't worry!  Everything will be okay!

Only it was not okay.  His day was plainly ruined.  And he showed this to me in a very Joshie fashion: by lying on the floor in the middle of the hallway.  I tried to be nice and cheerful about getting him up (there were witnesses around), but I started to lose my patience fast.  I had a sick toddler in the car, probably ready to blow at any moment!  I literally drug Josh into his classroom and explained the situation to his teachers.  They told Josh not to worry, they had lots of snacks and drinks.  Joshie decided to lay down on the floor in the room.  And wrap his arms around my legs. 

Not cool, Josh.

I left a Josh wailing and trying to get out of his teacher's clutches.  I ran back to the car and found Cole just fine.  We drove home without incident as well.

I decided that since he made the whole trip without throwing up that he would probably be okay if I worked out at home.  Which he was - for about 25 minutes.  So I cleaned him and the floor up - again - and gave up on working out.  I took a quick shower, got dressed, and did a few things around the house.  Soon it was time to go pick up Josh. 

Cole decided it was time to throw up again.

I decided he was no longer allowed to have anymore Sprite.  Obviously, his stomach couldn't handle anything today!

I got a grumpy Josh from school.  On the way home we had to stop - twice - for poor Cole. In the end he still threw up in the car.

All afternoon, about every hour, the poor child would throw up.  Even though he hadn't drunk or eaten anything, he'd still throw up.  Poor, poor Cole.

But I survived.  In fact, I got quite a bit done.  I think it's because during those times that he wasn't throwing up I felt like I should be as productive as possible because I didn't know when I'd have another chance to get everything done.

After dinner I took Spencer to Cub Scouts and ran a few errands.  I brought him home and Lance left to go play basketball.  Cole was already in bed and had been sleeping for about an hour.  I figured he was probably so exhausted that he'd sleep through the night.

Lance hadn't been gone more than 15 minutes when Josh came out of his room and said "Cole threw up.  A lot."

Boy, was he right.

Apparently, while Lance was home with them, Cole snuck an apple from the fridge and ate it.  And now it was all over his and Josh's bed, because of course Cole sleeps on the top bunk.

YARRRGGGHHH!

As I stripped and remade both beds, and cleaned a crying Cole up, I tried really hard to: a) not throw up myself, because it was pretty gross, and b) not be mad at Lance, because it wasn't really his fault, but sheesh, technically this was his mess to clean up!

As I cleaned, Cole snuggled himself up on a comforter on the floor and promptly fell asleep.  I had set up the air mattress in our room, thinking that it would probably be best for all of us (especially Josh) if Cole didn't sleep on the top bunk tonight. I decided to let Cole just sleep there.

And there he still is.  I have no idea how long he'll sleep there, but if today is any indicator, he'll be up in a little while, and I'll have another mess to clean up.

Pickle Pickle

A true conversation at dinner this evening.

Josh: Can I have another pickle-pickle?

Spencer (annoyed): Josh!  Why do you keep calling them pickle-pickle?

Josh: Because that's what they are.  Pickle-pickle.

Spencer: No they're not!

Josh: Yuh-huh.

Spencer: Uh-uh.

Josh: Yes, pickle-pickle.

Spencer: Josh!!  No!  Look, I've almost finished all of 2nd grade.  I've finished 1st grade and kindergarten.  And I've learned the name - it's just pickles.

Josh (knowing this will drive Spencer nutso): Pick-le-Pick-le...

Spencer (going nutso): JOSH!!!

Ladies Man II

Excerpt from an all-to-real conversation I had this morning.


Josh: Hey Mommy!  Guess what I want to give [insert name of little girl we know from church]?

Me (honestly intrigued): What?

Josh: A rose!

Me: Wha...?

Josh: Yeah, I want to give her a rose on Terraria! 

Me: Okaaayy... Why?

Josh: Because guirrels [girls] like flowers.  Then [little girl's name] would have something pretty to put in her hair.  Gueirrels like to have pretty things in their hair!

Me: You're very observant, Josh.

Josh: Yeah. I know.

Pay special attention, uncles Kyle and Kevin - you could learn a thing or two about women from Josh! ;)  (So far we know that girls like babies and girls like pretty things in their hair.  Use this super-knowledge only for good, not for evil!)

Updates

Update #1:

Remember the fun mentioned in this post?

So I stewed about it and got phone numbers of guys who could possibly fix it.  And then I called my dad.

Because dads know everything.

Of course, dads don't always know everything.  When you're 16 and your dad goes to the store in bib overalls and shoes with no laces, your dad knows NOTHING.  (At least, nothing of value to you.  And definitely nothing about fashion.)  But once you get a bit older, and especially once you start having kids, dads suddenly become an invaluable source of information.  Their fashion sense also generally improves.

Anywho, we talked about it for a while and I decided that perhaps it wasn't a leak - perhaps it was just cold enough outside that day that the paint couldn't dry and just ran.  My dad thought this theory plausible: with poor insulation in that corner and it being cold enough outside, condensation could cause the paint to run.  Plus, we had never seen any leaks or signs of leaks before.  (No water streaks, no bubbling latex paint, etc.)

So I decided to wait and see what happened.  We had the perfect weather for this type of waiting.  First it snowed and melted a bit and then it rained quite a bit.  I checked every day and guess what I found?  Nothing.  Dry as a bone.

HOORAY!  I guess my little tantrum the other day was rather premature.  But it did make me feel better.  And hey!  I ended up getting what I wanted, so maybe I'll throw more tantrums in the future.

I repainted the wall today and it looks fine.  Not fine enough to remember to take a picture of it, but whatever.

Update #2:

Several readers asked me what book I had just read that prompted me to write this post.  Oops.  I probably should have thought of that before.

I had just finished reading The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater.

It's about blood-thirsty, carnivorous horses who come out of the sea and the people who raise and race them.  Wait!  It's way better than that.  It was one of those books where you know nothing like this could ever happen and is just not real, but you forget because the writing is so good and the story and characters are so compelling.  Not life-changing in any way, but certainly a good read.  I highly recommend it.

Update #3:

Remember how Batman made his appearance?  Too much positive reinforcement has brought Batman out in full force.  Especially during inappropriate moments, such as during mealtime prayers where little brothers act as the perfect giggling audience.  I can only imagine what it will be like if Batman comes to church with us tomorrow.  Oy.

New Word

Random thought for the day:

There needs to be a word for that feeling of loss after you've finished a really good book.  You know that feeling - like you wish you could just keep reading about the characters for the rest of your/their lives.  Even if the ending is really good and the perfect stopping place for the story, it always feels a bit bittersweet to me.

That's how I can tell I really liked a book (or a movie, for that matter): I feel that unnamed sense of loss and I can't stop thinking about the characters.

Maybe that's why I can't seem to settle down and write the novel I've always wanted to write: I don't think I'd be able deal with saying good bye to the characters.  That, and I don't seem to be allowed to sit down for more than 20 minutes at any given time.  Great American Novel, you will just have to wait until all of my kids are in school. (Ha!)

I'm Batmat

Cole's been talking in a really low, scratchy voice lately.  I think he thinks it's intimidating, which is awesome. 

Yesterday the voice reminded me of someone... I thought Uncle Kevin would appreciate this!

Valentine's Day 2012

As per usual, Valentine's Day around the Madsen home was more of a family rather than a romantic holiday.  But that's cool, because Lance and I probably wouldn't do any of this fun stuff if it was all kissy-kissy.  Just sayin'.

We had fun Valentine's for the boys.  (Don't worry - Josh's Valentine was in focus.  Just the picture of it was not.)

 

We had heart-filled lunches.  (I make Spencer and Lance's lunches the night before.)

We had pink pancakes for breakfast.  (I tried to make heart pancakes, but they looked like amoebas.  Oh well.)

And we had our traditional pizza for dinner.  Only I didn't take any pictures of that, because do you really want pictures of pizza?  (Well, do you really want pictures of the rest?  Hmmm...)

We kept our tradition and gave each of the kiddos a new book. I used to give love-themed books, but you kinda run out of options quickly, so this year was more... secular?  I don't think that's the right word.  Normal books?  Whatever, you know what I mean.

Tess got the classic "Each Peach Pear Plum".

Cole got an ABC book that I made for him on Shutterfly.  Yes, I know I'm only enabling the addiction.  But he LOVES it.  (We've read it 37 times today already.)

Spencer got the third book of the "How To Train Your Dragon" series, which he is really getting into.

And Josh got "The Monster at the End of this Book", which he fell in love with at the doctor's office the last time he was there.  (I LOVED this book when I was a kid, too, so I was only too happy to get it for him!)

The boys also got their usual "Funky Monkey" boxes of chocolate.  Josh was pretty happy. 

True story: during his bedtime prayers the night before Spencer said, "Please bless that I'll be safe during my Valentine's Day party tomorrow."  Which just made me wonder what kind of party did he think he was going to?  I got my answer when he came home from school: the kind of party where you come home covered in foam heart stickers.  (There were more before this photo!)

Don't worry - romance isn't completely dead.  With our huge $10 budget I bought Lance a video game (which he had downloaded the week before) and he bought me this awesome syrup dispenser, which is just what I wanted.   A very happy Valentine's Day!

Boss of the World

Josh (running upstairs, slightly out of breath): Cole is the boss of the world!

Me: Cole thinks he's the boss of the world, huh?

Josh: No.  Cole IS the boss of the world!

Me: Why?

Josh: I asked him if he was the boss and he said yes.

That toddler is now one step closer to world domination.  Yes, you should be afraid.

Bring on Spring!

Tess is so cool* that she doesn't have to wait for warmer to start wearing her new spring clothes.

*And by cool I mean outgrowing her winter clothes.  Big.  The girl is big.  And cute - oh so cute!

New Dress

Grandpa ElRay and Grandma Susie heard about Tess growing out of all her dresses and sent this one so we wouldn't have to take her to church in her jammies.

Is she not the most darling thing ever?!? (I might be a bit biased...)  And the dress is just as darling! 

Tess enjoyed all of the attention and compliments paid today at church about her new outfit.  She even smiled for one or two people!  (Unheard of!)

Thank you, Grandpa and Grandma!  Hopefully she won't grow out of it too soon.  (No, really.  The child will be 10 months old this week but is already wearing size 24m clothes. Perhaps I should wean her from her diet of bacon grease and Twinkies... Quit growing so fast, baby Tess!)

Because NOTHING is Ever Simple

On Saturday Lance and I painted our master bathroom.  This is a project that I had wanted to tackle for quite a while because the paint in there was so bad.  Actually, the paint in the whole house is awful, so we're going to be doing a lot of painting in the next few months.  But that's another story.

Anywho, we painted and painted and painted (because bathrooms take a lot of edging, which takes forever), and a little more than halfway through we noticed this:

Yeah.  *&*$&%!!!  (I don't have the words to express my feelings, so *&*$&%!!! it is.)

Apparently we have some sort of leak in that corner.  (It's the corner right above the big bath tub that the boys like to play tidal wave in.)  The paint just kinda slid off of there and showed the original paint. (Which was not that dark of a brown.  Picassa was having issues with my photos.)  I think there must be issues with the length of the corner, because it's doing the same thing in the corner underneath the windows.  Just not as much, thank goodness!

So tomorrow I get to call around and see if I can 1) find someone to come out here and diagnose the problem, and then 2) see if I can find someone who won't charge an arm and a leg to fix it.  Lance and I have zero experience in stuff like this, so I'm not sure if fixing it ourselves is even an option.  (Maybe after we get a diagnosis we'll feel braver.  Who knows?)

I don't even know who to call for something like this.  A roofer?  A fix-it man?  Who knows.  Guess I'll find out.

I'm pretty ticked about this.  I want to shake my fist to the heavens and yell something along the lines of:

"All I wanted was a greyish-blue bathroom!  That's it!  Just to paint it and be done!  But no!  NO!  Now I have a leaky roof or wall or whatever that needs to be dealt with!  Can this family not go ONE MONTH without having $1000 worth of repairs?!?!  Seriously, we've been married for close to 12 years and we've never had this many unexpected expenses so close together!  Can't we catch a break?!  I'm supposed to take my family to Disney World in 2015, but that's pretty hard to save for when I'm spending all my money on car repairs and new sewer pumps!!!  I'm just sayin'..."

I'm sure this story will be continued.  Because what looks like a simple leaky roof will probably lead to the demolition and reconstruction of my bathroom - in the middle of February in Indiana - with my luck. 

Stay tuned.

Ladies Man

The kiddos and I (sans Spencer, of course) are driving home from preschool.  Joshie and I are talking about me signing up to be a "Mystery Reader".  (That's where you get to go in and read a book to the class at the end of the day - it's a mystery to the kids who the reader will be until they walk in.)  (Awesome sauce.)  The following conversation ensues:

Me: Can I bring Cole and Tess? (*note: I already know the answer to this, I just want to see what Josh says.)

Josh: Yes, they can come.  Tess will be good and Cole will be crazy!

Me: Would you hold Tess while I read the book?

Josh: What?

Me: I would put her on your lap.  Would you hold her for me?

Josh:  YES!  Then all the guirrels [girls] would come to sit by me.  Guirrels love babies. And Tess is cute.

I've always said that that boy is a lover, not a fighter.

Unlike Cole, who is most definitely a fighter.  He took on a five year old twice his size this morning while we were at aerobics.  He got at least three good punches in before I ran to intervene.  This child will be the death of me.

Why It Takes Me an Hour to Vacuum

It is 8:03 in the morning.

I get the vacuum out of the closet.

Then I realize that I need to get some laundry done.  Since Spencer hasn't left for the school bus yet I tell him and Josh to bring all the laundry baskets up to the laundry room.  Then I have them sort the laundry: whites, reds/browns, greens/blues, towels.  They've been doing this for several months, but it still takes them forever.  Seriously, what takes me less than 10 takes them at least 20.  I clean up after breakfast and remind them again and again and again to get back to work.

The boys finish sorting and I start a load of laundry.

Spencer leaves for the bus.  Cole tries to follow him and throws a tantrum when I deadbolt the door so he can't escape. Meltdown central.

I get Josh to help me pick up all the toys and such off the floor. This is usually the part that takes the longest when vacuuming.  We pick up one room only to discover that Cole has dumped toys out in another.

Growl.

I send Josh and Cole downstairs with explicit instructions to not come back up any time soon.

I head towards the vacuum. Tess starts to fuss because she can't see me.  Apparently, if I can't be seen the world will end.  I put her on the couch with a few toys.

I actually start to vacuum.  For about 60 whole seconds.  Tess fusses louder and louder.  The world is ENDING!!!  WHERE IS MY MOMMA!??!

So I pick Tess up and put her in her crib with some toys.  Ah, this is new.  Usually cribs are just for sleeping; she's not used to sitting up in the crib.  (Yes, she's nine months old and still very immobile.  I love my immobile babies!)  She happily starts to attack the mobile and I get back to vacuuming.

I vacuum half of the living room.  Cole comes upstairs.  With his hands up in the air.

And poop on his face.

"Uh-oh," he says.  "Hands in pants!"

This is his latest thing.  He likes to take his clothes off.  This leads to him taking his diapers off.  If his diaper's not off then his hands are down his pants - especially after he's pooped.

The boy is slathered in poop.  All over his hands, on his face, in his hair, on the clothes he's only been wearing for about 15 minutes.  I try not to gag.

I lead him to the bathroom, wrestle his clothes off of him, wipe him up as best I can, and throw him into the shower.  For the second time in less than an hour.  I hand him a bar of soap, tell him to wash the poop off of him, and hope that most of it will have come off on its own before I have to get in there to scrub him.

I clean the poop off of the parts of the bathroom he touched.  I clean the poop off of the parts of me that he touched.  I go downstairs and hunt for more poop.  Miraculously, I find none. I pray that he didn't decide to hide his poop anywhere.

I go back upstairs, check on Cole, and start vacuuming again.  Two whole minutes pass.

Cole starts screaming from the shower.  He's gotten soap in his eyes.  (I know, you're thinking "Well, duh, you gave a two year old a bar of soap!" to which I would explain that he's used lots of soap in his short life and knows all about it.  This time it was just an accident.)  Anyways, soap in eyes, crying, rubbing hands on face, getting more soap in eyes.  I try to help him get it all rinsed off, which pretty much soaks the arms of my long sleeved shirt.

I wrestle Cole out of the shower and towel him off.  He runs away and of course ends up on my nice living room couch.  Tess freaks out because she has seen me and the magic of sitting up in the crib has worn off.

I get out new clothes for Cole and hunt him down.  He has decided to pee on the floor. 

Growl.

I try to tell myself that the silver lining in this is that he didn't pee on my nice couch, but it's not very comforting.  I wrangle him into his clothes - he fights tooth and nail once he sees he has to wear overalls.  (You can't put 'hands down pants' with overalls!)  I send him downstairs again and then clean up the pee.

I start vacuuming again.  I vacuum the rest of the living room, the little hall, and the boys' room.  And then I hear Tess really freaking out.

I go into her room and discover Cole in the crib with her.  He's knocked her over and she's stuck against the railing.  She is Not Happy.  (For once Tess has a real reason to cry!)  I rescue Tess, chuck Cole out of the crib, and start vacuuming her room.

Cole is not happy about his unceremonious eviction from the crib.  He decides to unplug the vacuum while I am using it.  Three times in a row.

By the third time I swat his bum and send him on his way.  (Yes, I should have just stopped everything and put him in time out.  But I didn't want to have to police the time out chair.  I just wanted to FREAKIN' FINISH VACUUMING!!!!)

I put Tess back in the crib with a couple of different toys.  She cries when I leave the room but I ignore it because she's the fourth child and her cries have no effect on me at this point.

I start to vacuum my bedroom.

Josh starts freaking out about some stickers in the book he's coloring.  OH NO!  One of the pages in his coloring book has come out.  OH NO!  Now another one has.  I try to patiently explain to him that it's okay and no big deal.  Oh, and if he doesn't like the pages coming out he probably shouldn't pull them out.

I go back to vacuuming my bedroom.

Cole jumps on the bed.  Cole falls off of the bed.  Cole cries.  I stop vacuuming, pick him up, console him, and then tell him to Go Play With Josh.  NOW.

He does.

But not before unplugging the vacuum.

I contemplate running away.

Then I finish vacuuming our bedroom, bathroom, and closet.

It is 9:14 in the morning.

Super Bowl Sunday Smiles

Remember when I couldn't ever get Tess to smile for the camera on Sundays?  I no longer have that problem.  In fact, I have a new problem - the goofy way she smiles every time she now sees the camera.

She puts on this big fake smile and tilts her head back all the way!  It's actually pretty funny and pretty cute, but really, how many pictures does a momma need with a pose like that?

Do you like her new church dress?  She outgrew her other ones, so I bought this one at Target a couple of weeks ago.  I originally got it in the 18 month size, tried it on her, and promptly went back to the store to get the 24 month size!  (Yes, she's 9 months old and in size 18-24 months.  That's my girl!  My giant, giant girl!)

She loves sitting in front of the windows and watching the world.  There's not much going on in the world of our backyard right now, but that doesn't seem to bother her.

I know I claimed the other day that she can't wear headbands anymore.  Don't be fooled - the headband was pulled off more than once during this photo shoot!  (It didn't even make it to church!)

Hair

After several months of being pretty bald, Tess now has hair!  And, I don't know if it's because she's a girl, but I swear she has a ton more hair at this point than any of her brothers did.  (And she'd have more on the back of her head if she stopped rubbing it all off.  Just sayin', Tess.)

In fact, she has so much hair that she can wear little barrettes in her hair.  I only figured this out because the headbands I have for her look weird now... Lance says it's just me, but I'm the mom, so I say what's cute or not. Besides, she kept pulling them off her head, and what's the point of a headband if the child keeps pulling it off?

Don't worry - she's just mad that I wouldn't let her have the camera.  I'm so mean!

It's Been A Long, Hard Day...

... on all of us.

We'll see you tomorrow.  Hopefully.