I think it's pretty safe to say that our names shape at least some of who we are. I don't think I would have made a good Olivia or Hilary. (Or Adrienne, which is what my parents thought about naming me!) Would you have been the same as an Augusta or Flavia or Rashida?
What I'm saying is, I like my name. It's uncommon and unique and stands out a bit when necessary; kind of like me.
But my name is also kind of a pain because no one ever seems to be able to pronounce it correctly when they first meet me. There's a common bond that everyone with unusual names has; ask any of them and they can probably give you the top 10 ways their name has been mispronounced. (Am I right Karlea?) Mine? Mary, Marian, Mayren, Mariah, Maureen, Maura, Marleah, Marilyn, Maya, and Maria.
Not that I'm bitter or anything. (Not with my name, at least.)
It just seems that I've had to make it one my lifelong goals to teach people to pronounce my name correctly.
Okay, maybe not goal. More like ambition. Whatever.
My point is, I've spent a lot of time explaining to others how to pronounce my name. A typical introduction goes a little something like this:
Fictional New Person: Hi! My name is (something very common and easy pronounce - like Jennifer) Jennifer.
Me: Hi! My name is Maren. Nice to meet you.
Jen: Oh, hi Mary. Nice to meet you.
Me: No, it's, it's Maren, not Mary.
Jen: Oh, sorry! Marian.
Me: M a r e n.
Jen: Marilyn?
Me: It's like Karen with an "M".
Jen: Karem?
Me (in my head): Are you kidding me? Karem?!?
Me (out loud): Uh, no. M is the first letter. M-A-R-E-N.
Jen (still not pronouncing it quite right): Oh, Maren! That's unusual, isn't it?
Me: Uh, yeah.
Sometimes it can go on for even longer. Sometimes I just let them call me the wrong name.
All this correct pronunciation makes me want to do a little math. (And why not?)
Let's suppose that I introduce myself, on average, to 200 people per year. That's sounds like a lot, but not in the ultra-friendly Midwest!
And let's suppose that each introduction, such as that above, is around 1 minute or 60 seconds long.
60 seconds multiplied by 200 = 12,000 seconds. That's 3.33 hours I spend every year just explaining my name. That's a lot of time. (That's one day at church. Or three episodes of ER. Or how long I wish Josh's naps were.)
Now let's calculate how much time I've spent doing this since I was 18 years old. That was 12 years ago. 200 multiplied by 12 = 2400. 2400 introductions multiplied by 60 seconds each = 144,000 seconds. That's 40 hours. (That's a typical work week!)
And let's go a little wild and crazy here and just guesstimate that I'll live to see 80. So from 18 to 80 is 62 years, multiplied by 200 introductions per year = 12,400. 12,400 introductions multiplied by 60 seconds each = 744,000 seconds. That's 206.67 hours or 8.6 days. (The world and all things that in them are were created in 6 days, and then there was a rest on the 7th. I'm certainly not comparing myself or my name to the creation! I'm just sayin'...)
So what's the point of all this? Why the mad tirade about pronouncing my name correctly?
Well, maybe I'll be able to regain a day or two of my life by teaching everyone how to pronounce my name correctly through my blog title.
Maybe I decided that the title of my blog should be a phrase that I use fairly often. Or 200 times a year.
Or maybe I just liked the way it sounds.
What I'm saying is, I like my name. It's uncommon and unique and stands out a bit when necessary; kind of like me.
But my name is also kind of a pain because no one ever seems to be able to pronounce it correctly when they first meet me. There's a common bond that everyone with unusual names has; ask any of them and they can probably give you the top 10 ways their name has been mispronounced. (Am I right Karlea?) Mine? Mary, Marian, Mayren, Mariah, Maureen, Maura, Marleah, Marilyn, Maya, and Maria.
Not that I'm bitter or anything. (Not with my name, at least.)
It just seems that I've had to make it one my lifelong goals to teach people to pronounce my name correctly.
Okay, maybe not goal. More like ambition. Whatever.
My point is, I've spent a lot of time explaining to others how to pronounce my name. A typical introduction goes a little something like this:
Fictional New Person: Hi! My name is (something very common and easy pronounce - like Jennifer) Jennifer.
Me: Hi! My name is Maren. Nice to meet you.
Jen: Oh, hi Mary. Nice to meet you.
Me: No, it's, it's Maren, not Mary.
Jen: Oh, sorry! Marian.
Me: M a r e n.
Jen: Marilyn?
Me: It's like Karen with an "M".
Jen: Karem?
Me (in my head): Are you kidding me? Karem?!?
Me (out loud): Uh, no. M is the first letter. M-A-R-E-N.
Jen (still not pronouncing it quite right): Oh, Maren! That's unusual, isn't it?
Me: Uh, yeah.
Sometimes it can go on for even longer. Sometimes I just let them call me the wrong name.
All this correct pronunciation makes me want to do a little math. (And why not?)
Let's suppose that I introduce myself, on average, to 200 people per year. That's sounds like a lot, but not in the ultra-friendly Midwest!
And let's suppose that each introduction, such as that above, is around 1 minute or 60 seconds long.
60 seconds multiplied by 200 = 12,000 seconds. That's 3.33 hours I spend every year just explaining my name. That's a lot of time. (That's one day at church. Or three episodes of ER. Or how long I wish Josh's naps were.)
Now let's calculate how much time I've spent doing this since I was 18 years old. That was 12 years ago. 200 multiplied by 12 = 2400. 2400 introductions multiplied by 60 seconds each = 144,000 seconds. That's 40 hours. (That's a typical work week!)
And let's go a little wild and crazy here and just guesstimate that I'll live to see 80. So from 18 to 80 is 62 years, multiplied by 200 introductions per year = 12,400. 12,400 introductions multiplied by 60 seconds each = 744,000 seconds. That's 206.67 hours or 8.6 days. (The world and all things that in them are were created in 6 days, and then there was a rest on the 7th. I'm certainly not comparing myself or my name to the creation! I'm just sayin'...)
So what's the point of all this? Why the mad tirade about pronouncing my name correctly?
Well, maybe I'll be able to regain a day or two of my life by teaching everyone how to pronounce my name correctly through my blog title.
Maybe I decided that the title of my blog should be a phrase that I use fairly often. Or 200 times a year.
Or maybe I just liked the way it sounds.
3 comments:
You are so darn funny. I just have to post how funny you are. Thanks for the laugh. And if it makes you feel better, a lot of people (more then you would think) don't don't know how to say my name either. What's even worse is when people know that Loren and I are married and think that I'm Loren. The bank teller is the worst at figuring out who I am.
What? How hard is it to pronounce Ginger? People are so weird sometimes! I find that bank people are really bad at names, too. Must be part of the job. I once knew a couple named Jamie and Nicole and I was always mixing up whose name was whose. But I don't think I'd mix up Ginger and Loren!
Leila's name is the same way, but it is a great way to sift the telephone solicitors from actual people we want to talk to. If they can't say Gardunia or Leila right, they are probably selling something.
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