Cruise 2010 - Jamaica (Ya Mon!)

The next morning I woke up and read for a while on the balcony again.  In the distance I could see Jamaica, and watched as we got closer and closer.  It was a bit cloudy and hazy, but I could make out that it was green, lush, and mountainous.

Everything a tropical paradise is supposed to be, right?

Then we pulled up to port in Ocho Rios

Er...

Hmm...

Well, that's kinda interesting...

Okay, not exactly the most scenic port. But if you look down shore... Ah, that's better.

Lance and I got ready, had a light (haha) breakfast, and were off.

In order to get there we had to ride in a 12-seat tour van.  And by ride I mean grip the seats with white knuckles while the crazy driver told jokes and darted in and out of traffic.  On the wrong side of the road. (Those crazy ex-British colonies!) Okay, it wasn't that bad.  It was actually fairly entertaining.  But I think it can be safely said that traffic laws are very loosely followed and/or enforced in Ocho Rios.

Our first excursion was hiking Dunn's River Falls. 

It. Was. Awesome.

First we saw these really cool trees:

Okay, that's not the awesome part.  I just had to throw the pictures in somewhere.  Anyways, back to the awesomeness.

As we followed our perpetually exuberant tour guide, Oliver, we were first met with this view (which, of course, is even better in real life):

And then this:

Yep.  The falls actually end at the beach.  HOW COOL IS THAT?!?  (Answer: very.)  They are about 600 feet high and 1,000 feet long.  It wasn't treacherous by any means, but a bit slick at parts, so Oliver made us all hold hands and form a long chain for most of the hike up.

(Side note: Oliver had been giving these tours for years.  All tourists had to wear water shoes of some sort, but Oliver didn't - his feet were totally calloused and perfect for this from the thousands of times he had made the trip.  Crazy.)

We had to get a few pictures in before our hike.  The camera was in it's waterproof case, thus the steamy haze.  (It really wasn't steamy hot - in fact, it was quite pleasant.)

Actually, that last picture looks more like we're glowing.  I promise, it was steam, not the fact that we are secretly vampires.

At several points along the way our tour guides would stop us for photo shoots.  They'd even offer to take pictures for you!  But the price was that you had to get in the water, which was a bit of a shock at first. 

Of course we had to get at least one self-portrait.

And foot shot.  This foot is saying, "Omigosh this is such a blast!"  Also, "The rest of my body is going to fall down in 3...2...1..."

There were also points at which they made you slide down the natural slides, or fall back into pools - no exceptions for anyone!  And it was a blast!  (Not that any of these pictures show that - we were too busy sliding and falling and such.)

It took around 45 minutes to reach the top.  I was disappointed there wasn't more - we would have gone again if we could!  But it was time to dry off and head to our next destination: Mystic Mountain.

Oh, but first I should mention that we had to run the gauntlet through all of gift shops and completely over-the-top pushy sales people.  Seriously, it was ridiculous.  Jamaicans?  Totally friendly - especially when they want to sell you something.

To get to the top of Mystic Mountain you take a ride on a ski lift through the rain forest.  The views were spectacular.

The filming was not.  But I guess it is entertaining.

Lance likey the kissey pictures.  I humor him.

Just like he humors me with the self-portraits.

And foot portraits.  These feet are saying, "Look at those pretty orange flowers!"  Also, "We're getting a little swollen from dangling off of this chair lift!"

We got to the top and had a look around the little museum they had.  There was a section on the history of Jamaica (did you know Columbus was marooned there for a few years?), pirates (I loves me a good pirate story), rum manufacturing (clear rum - too new; dark rum - just right), and, of course, the Olympic Jamaican Bobsled Team.

Wait, what? 

Don't worry, it will all become clear quite soon.  But first we have to climb a few stories up to the top of the lookout and take some pictures of some fabulous looking tourists.

There we go.  Please note that that is water on my shirt, not sweat.  Thank you.

So anyways, back to the bobsledding.  There's a reason that was part of the museum: we were going to bobsled in Jamaica, mon!

I know.  You think that's totally touristy; cheesy even.  To you I say, perhaps.  But it was also really fun.  And you're just jealous.

So we thought it'd be like the Alpine Slide in Park City, UT - a bobsled with a break on a slick cement track.  But this was more like a mini roller coaster, only with single cars (bobsleds) and breaks.  It was great.  Seriously, zooming down a mountain, through the lush rain forest, in a bobsled, in Jamaica?  Way fun.

I didn't get any pictures or video during the downhill part; I was too busy enjoying it all.  But I did snap a few as the bobsled was being pulled back up the track.

And of course one of these.  These feet are saying, "Stop with the shayayayayayaking!"

Also, "Thank you."

Poor Lance.  He was in the car ahead of me so he didn't get to be in the self-portrait.

I'm sure he's heartbroken.

We happily made our way down the mountain the same way we came up.  It was nice to just relax and swing in the breeze.

After all that fun we decided to grab a little lunch.  I know we shouldn't have, but we were tired and hungry and didn't feel like marching all around Ocho Rios for lunch, so we stopped at a restaurant right in the middle of the tourist section.  This is where we were introduced to the aforementioned $4 Diet Coke.  But in my defense, the water was just as much, and quite frankly I don't trust bottled water in touristy areas of foreign countries.  (The locals have been known to refill the bottles with tap water and sell them as new.)

So there.  Besides, it tasted great with my over-priced (but still quite tasty) curried shrimp and rice.  Mmmm...

After lunch we walked around and window shopped a bit.  We also saw a bit more of down town, not-so-welcoming-to-tourists, Ocho Rios.  Totally my fault there.  But what in the world was Lance doing, letting me lead the way?  Really, he should have known better.

We eventually made our way back to friendlier climes, bought some souvenirs, and even found a hat for me that wasn't outrageously priced or looked too stupid on me.  (I look terrible in most hats.)  (Okay, I look terrible in all hats, but some less so.)  Oh yeah - we also got a free Jamaican shot glass that we were planning on giving to Susie as a gag gift, but we completely forgot.  I'm sure you're just devestated, Susie.

It was finally time to get back on the ship.  We were grungy, exhausted, a little bit poorer, and ready for a quick shower and a long nap.  All good signs of a great excursion day!

I sat on our balcony as we set sail (so to speak) and watched Jamaica get smaller.  

I also made an anklet out of some of the sea shells and raffia that had been on my hat.  My feet approved. (But they were too tired to say anything.)

(Side note: Christy, you would be proud of me.  I crafted on my cruise!  I took all the tacky raffia off of my hat and used my sewing to kit to sew on a cheap, but way cuter, Jamaican beaded necklace.)

That evening for dinner we had reservations at Sabatini's.  Most cruise ships now have optional restaurants that you can eat at for a cover charge, and we decided to check this one out.

Good call.

Sabatini's offers a tasting menu, which means you get a bit of everything on the menu.  (Except the main dish and dessert; you just choose one item then.)  We had two plates of appetizers, salad, two kinds of pasta, a main dish, and a dessert.  The food just kept coming and coming and it was all sooooo delicious and the service was amazing.  I could rave on and on, but it doesn't really matter since I didn't take any pictures.  (It was a bit too fancy for flash photography, you know?)

After dinner we rolled (because we were so full we couldn't really walk) around the promenade deck for a while and then decided to check out the karaoke contest.  This was fairly entertaining.  My favorite was this old guy named Bob who sang "All My Exes Live in Texas".  Classic.  And the perfect way to end the day.

Cruise 2010 - First Sea Day

Our first full day at sea began around 6:30am.  It's the mommy in me - I am now wired to wake up at dawn thanks to my pesky children.  But no worries, because while Lance slept I read for a while out on our balcony.  

This was my early morning view:

Isn't that just lovely?  The water was an even prettier shade of blue; the camera doesn't do it justice.  Even at the end of the cruise I was still always taken aback by just how vast the ocean is.  And you could see so far, I swear you could see the curvature of the earth.

I was reading this:

I would highly recommend it to anyone.  I read all three books of the trilogy during the cruise, and they were all great.  (But the first was the best.)  Easy to read, fast, but still made you think a little, if you wanted to - perfect cruise reading.

Here's the view down the ship from our balcony.  

We were pretty much dead center.  We were also on the highest level for balconies, which meant we could see down into other people's balconies, but no one could see into ours.  This was fun for people watching, but also a little dangerous; I don't think Lance and I will ever forget seeing "Fat-Harry-Smoking-Shirtless Guy", no matter how much we try.

We had a little table, perfect for propping up feet.  These feet are saying, "We realllly need a balcony like this at home."  Also, "It's 9am - time for some breakfast!"

Most of our day at sea could be summed up in the following conversation:

Me: What do you wanna do?

Lance: I dunno.  What do you wanna do?

Me: I was thinking of hitting the buffet, reading a bit, and then have a long nap.

Lance: Perfect.  That was exactly what I was thinking.  This is why I married you.

Me: I know, right?

Or something like that.

In case you think we are completely boring, we also threw in some swimming, getting lost around the ship, and buying some more outrageously priced soda.  Since we were so lazy I forgot to take any pictures around the ship.  But here are a few that I stole borrowed from online:

You could watch movies while you were swimming in that pool.  Cool, right?

And this pool was more for adults, which was nice.

(Side note: before going on the cruise I was a bit concerned about how crowded the boat would be.  I mean, with 3,000 passengers and 1,100 staff, who wouldn't wonder about it?  But I never once felt crowded.  Sometimes it was hard to find a deck chair in the shade, but I never felt like I couldn't do something I wanted because there were too many people.)

Later in the afternoon we split up.  There was a ceramics painting area I really wanted to check out.  Lance would sooner jump overboard than do that, so he went to play some virtual golf.  (Which turned out to be fully booked, so he had to play basketball instead.  Sad.)

I decided to paint a birthday plate - as in, when it's you're birthday in the Madsen home you get to use the special birthday plate.  Let me first say that it truly was a choppy day at sea, which made things a bit difficult.  Plus, we were stuck in a stuffy, hot little corner of the deck.  And I hadn't eaten in almost two hours.  (Yikes!)  

I mean, it's not terrible, but it's certainly not as grand as the image I had in my head.  Oh well.  I'm sure if I hype it up enough it will still become coveted around birthdays.

That night was the first formal night for dinner.  (Usually you just wear something nice enough to wear to a regular restaurant; i.e., not your bathing suit or jeans.)  Anywho, I was pretty excited for formal evening mainly because we hardly ever have reason to get dressed up.  

Nice dresses!  Big hair!  Make-up!  Adults only!  Excitement!

This was also extra-special because Lance was going to wear the brand new suit I forced helped him to buy a few weeks earlier.  I don't know why, but that man hates buying new suits, which is silly because he looks so good in them.  Oh well.

I primped.  I preened.  I took my time getting ready.  

Lance napped and read some more.  Thirty minutes before we were supposed to go up to dinner he decided to get dressed.  

And that's when he realized he had forgotten to pack his dress shoes. 

Gosh dang it.

(Side note: Lance has a sordid history of forgetting stuff like that when he packs for himself.  Which is always, because I refuse to pack for a grown man.)

But no worries!  Princess Cruises are all about customer service!  So he went out in search of renting some shoes.  While he was gone I got bored and took some pictures of myself, mainly because I was having a pretty good hair day.

Big hair takes effort and time.  But it's worth it, right?

I was feeling pretty glamorous.  (G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S... foxy foxy...)

Sure, I wasn't wearing a true evening gown, but it was good enough.  (I just couldn't justify spending a bunch of money on a fancy dress I'd rarely have occasion to wear.)

These feet are saying, "It's time for a night out!"  Also, "Ouch!  This is why we don't wear heels very often!"

Lance got back and announced that his shoes would arrive in 10 minutes.  We waited.  And waited.

And I got more and more anxious.  And so did Lance.  And he tried to call the rental place again but couldn't get through.

And we waited and waited and finally it was 30 minutes past when we were supposed to be at dinner.

And I was mad.

I know, I shouldn't have been.  But any ladies out there who have gotten all dolled up know how much work that is and what a let down it would be to have done it for nothing.

Poor Lance.  I sent him down there to cancel the shoes, because what was the point now?  While he was gone I changed back into casual clothes and pulled my big hair back.  Sad.

Apparently there was some mix-up with the shoe rental guys.  They offered to let me yell at them, but Lance wisely turned them down.

We ended the evening with a decidedly casual dinner at the buffet and an early bedtime. 

I was not happy.  But now?  Now I just think it was dumb.  I shouldn't have been so grouchy about it.  Oh well.  (Sorry, Lance!)

The next day totally made up for it.

Cruise 2010 - Bahamas

Our first full day of the cruise began as any good cruise should - with an awesome breakfast buffet.  I lurve breakfast, and this did not disappoint.  This was not some cheapo, yucky, $3 Vegas buffet - this was a gourmet buffet.  (Is there such a thing?  There is now!)

Oh yumminess.

I made it a point to eat rice pudding, muesli, bacon, sausage, papaya and other fresh fruit, and some French toast each morning.  Because it was all so yummy and I couldn't choose just one or two things to eat.

Hey, this was a cruise, not a diet.

I must mention that Lance's breakfasts consisted almost entirely of carbs, sugar, and meat. He made it a point to eat one piece of pineapple, to curb off the scurvy, you know. 

Anywho, our first stop of the cruise was Princess Cays in the Bahamas.  Oh wait - before I forget and because I'm not quite sure where else to put it, here's our cruise itinerary on a map.

Sorry for the quality.  I'm too lazy to scan it in.

As I was saying, the Bahamas.  So Princess Cruises owns a very small and obscure Bahamananian (yes, I just made that word up) island, just off the coast of Eleuthera Island, also a small and obscure island.  Lance and I took the tender (a small boat that gets you from the ship to land) out and started to explore.

Which took all of 36 seconds because Princess Cays is pretty small.  

We found our rented beach clamshell and beach chairs (our fair skin + hours on the beach = nothing good), and then picked up our snorkeling gear.   I had been snorkeling in the Red Sea before and was excited to try it again.  It was... a little disappointing.  I mean, we saw some fish

But not much else.  You could tell that people hadn't listened to the rule about staying off of the coral; it was pretty worn.  But like I said, a little disappointing but not the end of the world.  We snorkeled for a good hour and had fun with our new super-de-duper water-proof carrying case.

Fun, right?

Tre attractive, I know.  Do you like that I actually tried to smile with the snorkel in my mouth?  I'm a dork.

Here's my very favorite:

Haha!  Lance is a good sport.  And a very attractive snorkeler.

It was at this point that I decided to take pictures of my feet at certain points of the cruise.  Why?  Because I think your feet can tell a lot about you and where you are.  For example, these feet say "We're snorkeling in the Bahamas and it is AWESOME."  Also "It's really hard to take a picture of your flippered feet when you have an inflated life vest on." 

Swimming with flippers is fun.  Just in case you didn't know.

We eventually decided that we'd had enough snorkeling and settled into our beach chairs for a good couple hours of ... nothing... absolutely nothing.

It. Was. Great.

We dozed.  We chatted.  We watched our ship.  We wondered at the bathing suit choices of a few of our cruise mates.  (Bikinis are a privilege not to be taken lightly ladies.  And gentlemen?  Speedos are not for everyone.)  We disappointed several waiters when we declined to order any cocktails.  (We're boring like that.)  Then we dozed and chatted some more.

Here's the view we enjoyed.

That's our ship.  I thought it would just be an eye-sore where ever we went, but it was actually pretty cool looking.

These feet are saying "Boy-howdy, I have nowhere to go and nothing to do and it is great!" Also, "Wow!  That's a big boat!"

Lance and I decided that rather than get sunburned and be in pain for the entire cruise, we'd slather on the SPF 50 sunscreen every hour, stay in the shade, and keep our vampirish-healthy glow.

I'm glad we did. I saw several people on the cruise who could barely walk because they were so sunburned.  And the blisters on this one teenage girl's shoulders?  OUCH. Seriously, who wants that?

We eventually got off our duffs because it was time for lunch.  (What else would get us moving?)  Although almost all food on a cruise is free, any type of beverage except water costs extra.  It was here that we discovered the $2 soda.

Pop quiz:

What is the difference between this $.50 can of Diet Coke from the U.S., this $2 can of Diet Coke from Princess Cays, and this $4 can of Diet Coke from Jamaica?

I can't tell either.  I dunno, maybe Caribbean Diet Cokes are lined with gold or something.  At least that's what I told myself to justify my purchase.  (Hey, it was either that or a $2 bottle of water.)

I know - Caribbean Diet Cokes make you extra-attractive.  See?  Totally worth the high price.

We ate lunch and then said good-bye to Princess Cays.  It was time to get back to the ship for some serious napping. 

I think that afternoon we watched "Shutter Island" in the theater on board.  It was... okaaayyy... a little long.  We both decided we were happy it was free.  (Or I guess it was the most expensive movie we've ever seen.  It all depends on how you look at it!)

That evening we decided to see one of the comics on the ship.  He had some pretty good bits and some pretty stupid bits, but that was pretty much expected.  Every evening there were lots of dance parties and shows and such to go to, but we were happy just to see one of the shows, walk around and around the promenade deck and enjoy the breeze and the view, and not spend all (or any, for that matter) of our money on alcohol.  

Okay, it wasn't that bad.  Princess really isn't a drinking cruise, like certain others are known for.  (*cough*cough*Carnival*)  (Do you like that I'm already a cruise snob?)  But it still amazed me that so many people were willing to spend $6-$8 on one drink!  And they wouldn't get just one drink - they'd have two or three! 

Our evening ended with a quick, mandatory trip to the buffet and then an early-for-us 10pm bed time.  

Heaven.

Cruise 2010 - First Day

Well, gentle readers, I'm finally back.  Mostly.  It's really hard to get back into the swing of things after a great vacation.

And, let me put this in no uncertain terms, it was a GREAT vacation.  Relaxing.  Fun.  Carefree.  Child free. 

GREAT.

Well, before I get started on my eagerly anticipated travelogue (Because nothing is more fun than looking at another person's vacation photos!), let me give a huge thank you to my wonderful dad and not-ever-even-slightly-wicked step-mother, Susie.  Thank you thank you thank you!  Not only did they watch the boys for us but they also did some wonderful guest-blogging.  You can't ask for much more than that.

Well.  Where to begin?

I know.  How 'bout 3am Mother's Day morning?  Because that's the time we had to get up in order to make it to our flight to Ft. Lauderdale.  Fortunately, I rediscovered how wonderfully simple it is to travel without children.  Getting up and ready?  Easy.  Getting through security?  A breeze.  Sleeping on the plane?  A distinct possibility!

After a slight and uneventful layover in Baltimore (Whose airport looks a lot like Darth Vader.  No, really.) we made it to balmy Ft. Lauderdale.  After waiting 30 minutes for our luggage (thank you, AirTran), we hopped on the Princess Cruiseline shuttle and were on our way.

Let me take a second to note that Lance and I lowered the median age of passengers on that bus by Quite. A. Bit.  This was generally true for most of the cruise.  And you know what?  We were cool with that.

Finally, we went through all the lines and junk, got our cruise cards, and were on the Emerald Princess. 

It was huge.  No, really.  I mean, unless you've been on a cruise, I don't know that you can really appreciate the size of a ship.  Big.  And somehow, magically, even bigger on the inside.  We were always getting lost.  It's a miracle we found our stateroom in the first place.

About a week before we left I received an email from Princess letting me know that we had been upgraded from our teeny-tiny, uber-economical, no-window, middle of the ship stateroom to a really great balcony stateroom.  Sweet!  And while at first glace it still seemed a bit tight, it actually turned out to be just right.  Here's the basic layout:

And if you're really curious, here's a video.  (Our room looked exactly like the video.)

We settled in to our room, unpacked, wandered around the ship several times, grabbed some lunch,  and then basically passed out for a while. We're really exciting.  But we had also been up since the dawn of time or so.  Plus - and this is the most important part - we were ON VACATION.  Napping any time we want?  Totally acceptable.

Awesome.

We stirred just in time for the mandatory safety drill, which included going to our muster station, listening to the emergency instructions, and practicing putting on our life vests.  Tre chic.  I also had the theme to "Titanic" stuck in my head for the entire time, but I don't think that was as mandatory.  (But I'm sure I wasn't the only one!)

Finally it was time for the launch party, which we enjoyed watching from the balcony.  (We're not so much into the drinking that seems inherently involved with mass dancing on a cruise ship.  But watching it?  Sure thing!)

We took our first picture of the trip.

And enjoyed all the views Everglades Port of Ft. Lauderdale had to offer.  Ahem.  (Because nothin' says Caribbean Cruise like a view of the local oil refinery!)

We eventually got on our way and out to open sea.  While cruise ships aren't speedy by any means, they do go faster than I thought.  (These videos don't do it justice.) 

We opted for traditional dining on this trip, which meant we had a set dining time each night, with the same table-mates and waiters each evening.  We were, hands down, the youngest table in the dining room during our sitting.  (And that was okay with us!)  We were joined by a honeymooning couple, Dan and Maddy, from Ontario, Canada, and two cousins, Hillary and Sarah, also from Ontario.  (I know, what are the chances?)

A few things:

1. I love Canadians.  I'll be the first to admit that I don't know much about Canada and really don't know many Canadians.  But I loved these Canadians (or "Our Canadia Friends" as Lance and I referred to them).
2. These Canadians really and truly did have accents.  And we loved it.  Every "Eh", every "oowwuut" sound, every 'keen'... loved it.  Really and truly.
3. The honeymooners?  Very cute.  And young - I'm guessing around 22ish.  But also obnoxious - only because they got to go on a FOURTEEN day cruise.  Holy shnikes.  A cruise that long is slightly obscene.  And heavenly.  Totally jealous that they're still at sea and I'm here in rainy Indiana.
4. The cousins were celebrating Hillary graduating from teaching college and Sarah having been accepted into teaching college.  So I'm guessing they were around 21-23ish. 
5. We were the only ones in the group with kids, which was nice because it meant we didn't spend all our meals talking about kids.  It took a little getting used to, but I finally remembered how to have a conversation that didn't mention poop, napping, getting spit up on, and potty training!

The dinners in the dining room were always very yummy and elegant, and the menu changed each night.  You'd choose an appetizer, soup or salad, main dish, and dessert.  It was so good!  But the best part?  I didn't have to do anything but show up; no prepping, cooking, or cleaning! 

To be honest, I can't remember what we did that evening.  Wait - I think we went to some 'introduction to your cruise' type of entertainment.  And then we probably ate something from the buffet, because if you don't eat every two hours on a cruise you will die.  (It's true.  Ask anyone who's ever been on a cruise.)  But other than that, I think we collapsed into bed rather early, because we don't drink, don't gamble, and we don't have the same luxury at home.  Nice.

What we have learned: Guest Bloggers, Susie and ElRay

1. Colie bolie is the happiest child. He also is the wiggliest child. Distraction by Grandpa ElRay, Spencer, or any visiting guest (i.e., Chad Byron) works.
2. Joshie loves swinging with Grandma Susie and Grandpa ElRay. He also loves snacks.

3. Spencer is a great reader. He reads us bedtime stories and stories from the Doctrine and Covenants scripture reader every night. He reads us books about money and counts by 5’s and 10’s (no, we’re not proud grandparents).

4. Do not, we repeat, do not put the mustard for Joshie’s hot dog on his plate. The mustard goes directly on the dog or Joshie will have a meltdown of epic proportions (complete with running into the bedroom and sobbing huge crocodile tears into his blanket).

5. If you get the order of the bedtime schedule wrong, prepare to be reprimanded. It is posted on the closet door and if you say family prayers before you brush your teeth you are in big trouble.
6. Grandpa is great at fixing chairs that have had an accident (tipped over by guess who? after he was asked not to lean back on the chair).
7. If you want some great macaroni and cheese pizza, we can tell you where to get it (Cici’s in Lafayette, Indiana).
8. Monkey Joe’s is a fun place for the Madsen boys to get their exercise, but it isn’t a slam dunk at getting them tired enough to go right to sleep.