Josh and I had a pretty good party in the middle of the night - he brought the croup and I brought the worry that moms have when their kids are sick and there's not much you can do about it.
It was pretty bad there for a while in our steamy bathroom. Poor Josh just coughed and wheezed and you could tell he felt gross and didn't really understand what was going on. Things calmed down a bit after Lance gave him a blessing. An hour or two later (who can remember?) he was back in bed asleep.
An hour after that he was up and bugging for a snack. That's when I knew he'd be Just Fine.
An hour after that Cole woke me up at some ungodly hour for some unknown reason. Since he wasn't coughing or wheezing I wasn't nearly as nice to him as I was to Josh. (I just gave him some milk and unceremoniously dumped him back into bed.)
At some point during the small remainder of the night some other children came in and bugged me, but I don't remember the details now; the party, by then, was a bit fuzzy.
At this point the question of "Why don't my kids ever bug Lance in the middle of the night???" should be asked. I know it's one of those imponderable questions that will never be answered, but still.
I planned on taking a short nap today, but every time I laid down some child would start crying or yelling or fighting or whatever. So I gave up and got some work done around the house. Then I decided to edit a rather large, boring, and poorly written dissertation. Might as well make some use out of my time, right? Except that I kept falling asleep instead of editing. Dang it.
So now that the kiddos are in bed I've been editing for three hours straight and I'm only halfway through. Ugh. I would rather be doing just about anything else in the world than editing this paper. Which is why I'm blogging.
But I suspect there's a good chance that I will be invited to another party tonight. Which is why I'm now ending this post and going to bed.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
I'm a Mormon
Have you seen those new "I'm a Mormon" ads on TV? I find them very interesting. I also think that I'm probably not interesting enough to be featured on one of them. But that didn't stop me from writing one (very long one) of my own! Here we go:
I’m a wife of eleven years going on eternity. I have four children under the age of eight – three boys and one girl. I graciously ignore comments from strangers at the grocery store about my family’s size and gender.
I have a home that is never 100% clean all at once. While I clean one room, the children work on destroying two others. So then I get to work on the other rooms as they start to work on the one I just cleaned. It’s an imperfect system, but I haven’t figured out anything better.
I love pumpkins.
I’m a mother. There’s a quote that has been floating around the inter-webs quite a bit lately: “Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling…” Amen to that. It’s also not a job, as I am always on call, the health benefits are non-existent, and you couldn’t pay me enough to do some of the things I’ve done. Oh, the things I’ve done.
I love my kids. Most of the time.
I’m a blogger. I don’t know that I would classify myself as a Mommy Blogger; it just happens that most of my best blog-fodder comes from incidents with my children. I’m sure I will still have plenty to blog about once they’re all grown and out of the house. Like the weather, or antics from the neighbor’s cat, or… my grandchildren. I don’t know. I know my husband probably won’t be entertaining enough on his own, but I’ll find something to write about.
I’m a grammar Nazi. No wait – I’m more of a grammar Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino. Sittin’ on my porch with my rather large shotgun yelling at punk teenagers to “Get off my lawn” and “Quit messing up your possessive plurals, you jerks” and “LOL is NOT a REAL word!!!” I’m not saying everyone has to be grammatically perfect all of the time; heaven knows I’m not. But if you’re gonna email, text, of, oddly, write me, then you’d better get your “there, their, and they’re” right. Or your “its and it’s”. Or, worse yet, your “your and you’re”. I mean, for the love of all that is good, most of you were born and raised with this language – take the time to use it properly! (Unless you want the shotgun to make an appearance.)
I don’t *heart* anything.
That’s a lie. Sometimes I do *heart* things online, but I always feel lame afterwards.
I believe in public schools. I especially believe in our teachers. They’re overworked and underpaid and I thoroughly appreciate all they do, especially because I know I couldn’t do it. But it makes me angry every year when I have to pay registration and book fees for my supposedly free public school. In a few years I estimate, between these fees and all of the required school supplies, I’ll easily be forking over close to a grand to send all of my kids to public school. For one year. Just vote for slightly higher property taxes, people! It won’t kill you. You won’t miss those few extra bucks each month. Sure, you may not have kids in school, but you used to or you will. And if not, you were a kid once and probably went to public school. And if you went to private school? Well, la-dee-dah, look where it got you – right back into a neighborhood full of publicly-educated children. Just pass the dang bond.
I believe in speaking my mind, but not to the detriment of others.
I believe in being on time.
I believe in being fair when you can, but that we have the responsibility to teach our children that life is not always fair. If we try to make everything 100% equal and fair between them, what are we setting them up for in life later on? Not reality. Not success.
I believe in going to church even if your children won’t allow you to really hear any of it.
I believe my life wouldn’t be as happy as it is today without the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ. I believe in the Book of Mormon. I believe in modern day prophets and personal revelation.
My name is Maren, and I’m a Mormon.
Fiery Serpents
This evening I needed my hands free, so I put Tess on the floor and gave her a rubber snake to play with.
What? Rubber snakes are great toys for babies. They're easy for baby hands to hold, they're easy for toothless gums to chew , and they're in plentiful supply in homes full of little boys.
Tess loves rubber snakes.
But in a fit of parenting awesomeness, I forgot that Tess's new favorite thing is to fling things around her face.
You can see where this is going, right?
It was within a matter of moments that Tess had a rather large, red, rubber snake welt across her cheek. To say that she was Less. Than. Pleased. would be fairly accurate.
Fortunately, a brief spin in the office chair while in Momma's arms helped put this bit of poor parenting out of her little Tessy mind.
What? Rubber snakes are great toys for babies. They're easy for baby hands to hold, they're easy for toothless gums to chew , and they're in plentiful supply in homes full of little boys.
Tess loves rubber snakes.
But in a fit of parenting awesomeness, I forgot that Tess's new favorite thing is to fling things around her face.
You can see where this is going, right?
It was within a matter of moments that Tess had a rather large, red, rubber snake welt across her cheek. To say that she was Less. Than. Pleased. would be fairly accurate.
Fortunately, a brief spin in the office chair while in Momma's arms helped put this bit of poor parenting out of her little Tessy mind.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Tess on Wheels
Josh doesn't usually pay too much attention to Tess - there are far more interesting things to play with than a boring ol' baby. But put Tess on some wheels, and you have plenty of fun for your average five year old!
They must have gone up and down the driveway 50 times.
Josh was super-excited.
And for once, so was Tess!
Cole was not interested in pushing Tess around - thank goodness! No, instead, he was much more interested in ramming her stroller with his bike. Punk kid.
Just look at those chub-a-licious legs! It's a shame we will have to start hiding them under pants soon.
Good times, Josh. Good times.
They must have gone up and down the driveway 50 times.
Josh was super-excited.
And for once, so was Tess!
Cole was not interested in pushing Tess around - thank goodness! No, instead, he was much more interested in ramming her stroller with his bike. Punk kid.
Just look at those chub-a-licious legs! It's a shame we will have to start hiding them under pants soon.
Good times, Josh. Good times.
Monday, October 3, 2011
My Day In a Nutshell
As a mother of a toddler you sometimes find yourself yelling at the top of your lungs such things as:
"NO! Do NOT play in your brother's vomit!!!!"
and
"HEY!! Quit licking my computer!!"
and
"NO! We do NOT step on the baby! HEY! We don't sit on her either!!!"
These are often followed by various oaths and curses said under your breath, because they are not intended for children's ears.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
This and That
Okay, so here's what usually happens during the day. The kids will do something or I'll hear or see something or a thought will just pop into my head and I'll think "That would make a good blog post". And then, while I'm doing whatever it is that I'm doing, I'll think about writing that blog post. I'll come up with some great lines; witty and funny and well-written. Sometimes even poignant or thought-provoking. And then I run around like a chicken the rest of the day getting stuff done and I either 1) never get a chance to actually sit down and write, or 2) forget all of the wonderful wordsmithing I had accomplished earlier in my mind because I am just so dang tired.
Sometimes it drives me nuts that I spend most of my free time reading and editing someone else's (generally very poor) writing, and I never have the chance to work on my writing skills. In fact, it seems to me that since I've started editing again my writing quality has decreased. *sigh* I guess I won't be writing the great American novel anytime soon. Or ever, really, since that's not a goal of mine. I think I'm more of an Erma Bombeck type of gal, and I'm okay with that. (But I'd love to be a Charles Dickens if I could. Oh my goodness, that man could write. Seriously, if you've never read the original Christmas Carol, do yourself a favor and read it this Christmas season. You won't regret it. I know I'll be reading it. Again.)
I wonder if I could ever have a book published? I suppose that would actually require sitting down to write it, which would require a lot more spare time, which would require approximately four fewer children in this home. Well, look for my first book to come out in the spring of 2042.
Okay, back to my point. Which I have not really mentioned yet.
My point is, this post is a conglomeration of things that have been going on around here because I just haven't had the chance to sit down and write. But now I do because it's Sunday and I don't edit on Sundays and the kids are in bed and I'm ignoring all of the laundry that needs to be put away.
During the week I am a wicked, cheap mother who makes her children eat hot cereal for breakfast. We have steel cut oats and 9 grain cereal and cream of wheat... yum! (Well, I like it.) On Fridays I try to shake things up a bit and let the kids put chocolate chips or sprinkles into their cereal. This goes over very well. You should know that I generally get all of the breakfast things out and set the table the night before, just so I'm not rushing around even more than usual in the morning. Last Thursday night I did this, and put the sprinkles out on the table. This was a mistake.
See, Cole has been going through that phase where he wakes up an hour before everyone else. I have no idea why. I wish he would stop. (He won't.) Usually he crawls into bed with me until he bugs me enough to get up and get him some milk. (Why he never crawls in on Lance's side is a mystery. A big, fat, totally unfair mystery.) Lately Cole has become bored with me after just a few minutes and so then gets out of bed and wanders around the house, turning on all the lights, occasionally harassing Spencer awake, and then getting back into bed with me.
You know where this is going, right?
Friday morning he came in around 6am, as usual. He crawled into bed with me, as usual. He got out of my bed and started wandering, as usual. What wasn't usual was the length of time that he was gone. I groggily wondered about it, but he eventually got back into bed with me just before Lance's alarm went off. I went into the kitchen to discover green sprinkles all over the place, especially on Cole's chair and plate. He had climbed onto the table to check things out and decided to dine on the sprinkles. I swept three times that day and still kept finding sprinkles. At breakfast I noticed Cole had a rather macho green-tinged 5 o'clock shadow from his pre-breakfast binge. Oddly, the green wasn't as deep as I had anticipated and his hands were pretty clean. It wasn't until I went to make our bed that I noticed this:
Yeah, the boy had wiped his mouth and hands all over MY SIDE OF THE BED when he got back in. Yes, those are sprinkles in the picture. They're white now, but at one point they were green.
Seriously, Cole? Seriously? As Hank Hill used to say, "That boy ain't right." I never truly appreciated Hank's wisdom until I had boys of my own.
On to something cuter - like Tess. I have discovered that now the weather is cooler Tess likes to sunbathe. Stick her in a sun beam (head out, of course) and she'll lay there and coo and play with her feet for a good 20 minutes. Maybe I should teach her how to purr like a cat...
This weekend was General Conference. While listening to conference I like to work on little projects to keep me occupied. Yesterday I worked on sprucing up Tess's curtains.
See, I've been meaning to put curtains up in Tess's room for a while now, but I could never find any that I liked or were within my budget. Rummaging through a box in the storage room I discovered some curtains that I had bought for our last house but had never used. Score! They're pretty sheer, but I didn't care. I don't know that there's anything, short of black-out curtains, that will keep the light out of Tess's room. (See that half-circle window at the top? Man alive, you CAN'T keep the light out with it there!) Anywho, I hemmed the panels and put them up, but the seemed a little boring for a little girl's room.
So I spent my conference time making these flowers out of the leftover fabric from the curtains. I think they turned out pretty great!
I'm kicking myself for not taking a picture of the whole window because it looks really cute. But oh well; use your imagination. Or come on over, although that's kind of a weird thing to come over for. Better bring some cookies to make it a little less awkward.
You: Oh hi! I had these cookies and thought you would like some!
Me: Thanks! That's really-
You: Can I see Tess's curtains now?
Me: Um, sure?
As you can see, Tess was really excited about them. What? That is her excited face! And yes, those are boy pajamas. She doesn't care. She's totally confident in her femininity and can totally pull of wearing boy pajamas.
As you might have noticed in my last post, Cole has a pretty awesome eye injury right now. (He fell in my shower and I'm pretty sure he hit one of the ledges.) It's turned a very lovely shade of purple and green this weekend.
True story: Thursday we were at the pediatrician's office for Josh's 5 year old check up, and the doctor was completely impressed with Cole's eye. She said she's never seen a kid with an injury like that that didn't require stitches - I guess they usually bust open. So even though it looks like I've been beating my kid, there's my silver lining - I didn't have to take in him to get stitches!
Also, side note but not really: Poor Josh had to get all three of his kindergarten shots at that appointment. I had been talking to him about them and trying to help him be brave and he was so good and brave about it (much to my surprise/relief) until the actual shots. Then he just cried and cried and I felt so bad because I know shots hurt. But once he finally calmed down he wore those three band aids like badges of courage. I felt even worse for Cole because he had to get his flu shot and we kinda tricked him into it by distracting him with a book. He was Not. Happy.
Anywho, back to the eye. I tried all weekend to get a good picture of it, but the child wouldn't hold still. Taking a picture of a toddler is like... well, ... I can't think of a metaphor to use. Actually "Taking a picture of a toddler" should be a metaphor for doing something futile and difficult.
Needless to say, I never really got a good picture that did justice to his eye. But I got a few decent shots.
He looks pretty tough. Which is ironic, because acted anything but tough this weekend. Actually, I shouldn't be mean - he's been kinda sick. And so have I. And so has Tess. Not horribly sick, just kind of feeling blah sick. And Cole's diapers... oh, the humanity. Which is why we are not going anywhere for the next few days if we can help it.
Tess discovered the joys of drinking from a cup this afternoon. There was only a tiny bit of water in there at any given time, but somehow she still managed to soak her shirt. Babies are magic like that.
Where are Josh and Spencer in all of this? Josh was pretty good this weekend because I made lots of snacks for Conference. That boy will do anything for the right snack. And Spencer was pretty good, too, although he did forget more homework. (!@!%$F#$^#!!) And this week he has a huge project on houseflies due as well as a large test on insects. I'm (re)learning more about houseflies and insects than I ever wanted to know. And that's saying something because I'm the daughter of an entomologist. It's gonna be a fun week, let me tell you.
Oh, and one more thing. It's October! Which means it's PUMPKIN TIME!!! (Go here to see what I'm talking about.) I got all of my pumpkins out and placed yesterday. Picture? Why would I remember to take a picture? You can see them all when you come to see Tess's curtains. Then we can chat and chat, because in case you couldn't tell from the length of this post, it's been a while since I've had a good conversation with a grown up.
Time to go get the breakfast things out. Minus the sprinkles.
Sometimes it drives me nuts that I spend most of my free time reading and editing someone else's (generally very poor) writing, and I never have the chance to work on my writing skills. In fact, it seems to me that since I've started editing again my writing quality has decreased. *sigh* I guess I won't be writing the great American novel anytime soon. Or ever, really, since that's not a goal of mine. I think I'm more of an Erma Bombeck type of gal, and I'm okay with that. (But I'd love to be a Charles Dickens if I could. Oh my goodness, that man could write. Seriously, if you've never read the original Christmas Carol, do yourself a favor and read it this Christmas season. You won't regret it. I know I'll be reading it. Again.)
I wonder if I could ever have a book published? I suppose that would actually require sitting down to write it, which would require a lot more spare time, which would require approximately four fewer children in this home. Well, look for my first book to come out in the spring of 2042.
Okay, back to my point. Which I have not really mentioned yet.
My point is, this post is a conglomeration of things that have been going on around here because I just haven't had the chance to sit down and write. But now I do because it's Sunday and I don't edit on Sundays and the kids are in bed and I'm ignoring all of the laundry that needs to be put away.
During the week I am a wicked, cheap mother who makes her children eat hot cereal for breakfast. We have steel cut oats and 9 grain cereal and cream of wheat... yum! (Well, I like it.) On Fridays I try to shake things up a bit and let the kids put chocolate chips or sprinkles into their cereal. This goes over very well. You should know that I generally get all of the breakfast things out and set the table the night before, just so I'm not rushing around even more than usual in the morning. Last Thursday night I did this, and put the sprinkles out on the table. This was a mistake.
See, Cole has been going through that phase where he wakes up an hour before everyone else. I have no idea why. I wish he would stop. (He won't.) Usually he crawls into bed with me until he bugs me enough to get up and get him some milk. (Why he never crawls in on Lance's side is a mystery. A big, fat, totally unfair mystery.) Lately Cole has become bored with me after just a few minutes and so then gets out of bed and wanders around the house, turning on all the lights, occasionally harassing Spencer awake, and then getting back into bed with me.
You know where this is going, right?
Friday morning he came in around 6am, as usual. He crawled into bed with me, as usual. He got out of my bed and started wandering, as usual. What wasn't usual was the length of time that he was gone. I groggily wondered about it, but he eventually got back into bed with me just before Lance's alarm went off. I went into the kitchen to discover green sprinkles all over the place, especially on Cole's chair and plate. He had climbed onto the table to check things out and decided to dine on the sprinkles. I swept three times that day and still kept finding sprinkles. At breakfast I noticed Cole had a rather macho green-tinged 5 o'clock shadow from his pre-breakfast binge. Oddly, the green wasn't as deep as I had anticipated and his hands were pretty clean. It wasn't until I went to make our bed that I noticed this:
Yeah, the boy had wiped his mouth and hands all over MY SIDE OF THE BED when he got back in. Yes, those are sprinkles in the picture. They're white now, but at one point they were green.
Seriously, Cole? Seriously? As Hank Hill used to say, "That boy ain't right." I never truly appreciated Hank's wisdom until I had boys of my own.
On to something cuter - like Tess. I have discovered that now the weather is cooler Tess likes to sunbathe. Stick her in a sun beam (head out, of course) and she'll lay there and coo and play with her feet for a good 20 minutes. Maybe I should teach her how to purr like a cat...
This weekend was General Conference. While listening to conference I like to work on little projects to keep me occupied. Yesterday I worked on sprucing up Tess's curtains.
See, I've been meaning to put curtains up in Tess's room for a while now, but I could never find any that I liked or were within my budget. Rummaging through a box in the storage room I discovered some curtains that I had bought for our last house but had never used. Score! They're pretty sheer, but I didn't care. I don't know that there's anything, short of black-out curtains, that will keep the light out of Tess's room. (See that half-circle window at the top? Man alive, you CAN'T keep the light out with it there!) Anywho, I hemmed the panels and put them up, but the seemed a little boring for a little girl's room.
So I spent my conference time making these flowers out of the leftover fabric from the curtains. I think they turned out pretty great!
I'm kicking myself for not taking a picture of the whole window because it looks really cute. But oh well; use your imagination. Or come on over, although that's kind of a weird thing to come over for. Better bring some cookies to make it a little less awkward.
You: Oh hi! I had these cookies and thought you would like some!
Me: Thanks! That's really-
You: Can I see Tess's curtains now?
Me: Um, sure?
As you can see, Tess was really excited about them. What? That is her excited face! And yes, those are boy pajamas. She doesn't care. She's totally confident in her femininity and can totally pull of wearing boy pajamas.
As you might have noticed in my last post, Cole has a pretty awesome eye injury right now. (He fell in my shower and I'm pretty sure he hit one of the ledges.) It's turned a very lovely shade of purple and green this weekend.
True story: Thursday we were at the pediatrician's office for Josh's 5 year old check up, and the doctor was completely impressed with Cole's eye. She said she's never seen a kid with an injury like that that didn't require stitches - I guess they usually bust open. So even though it looks like I've been beating my kid, there's my silver lining - I didn't have to take in him to get stitches!
Also, side note but not really: Poor Josh had to get all three of his kindergarten shots at that appointment. I had been talking to him about them and trying to help him be brave and he was so good and brave about it (much to my surprise/relief) until the actual shots. Then he just cried and cried and I felt so bad because I know shots hurt. But once he finally calmed down he wore those three band aids like badges of courage. I felt even worse for Cole because he had to get his flu shot and we kinda tricked him into it by distracting him with a book. He was Not. Happy.
Anywho, back to the eye. I tried all weekend to get a good picture of it, but the child wouldn't hold still. Taking a picture of a toddler is like... well, ... I can't think of a metaphor to use. Actually "Taking a picture of a toddler" should be a metaphor for doing something futile and difficult.
Needless to say, I never really got a good picture that did justice to his eye. But I got a few decent shots.
He looks pretty tough. Which is ironic, because acted anything but tough this weekend. Actually, I shouldn't be mean - he's been kinda sick. And so have I. And so has Tess. Not horribly sick, just kind of feeling blah sick. And Cole's diapers... oh, the humanity. Which is why we are not going anywhere for the next few days if we can help it.
Tess discovered the joys of drinking from a cup this afternoon. There was only a tiny bit of water in there at any given time, but somehow she still managed to soak her shirt. Babies are magic like that.
Where are Josh and Spencer in all of this? Josh was pretty good this weekend because I made lots of snacks for Conference. That boy will do anything for the right snack. And Spencer was pretty good, too, although he did forget more homework. (!@!%$F#$^#!!) And this week he has a huge project on houseflies due as well as a large test on insects. I'm (re)learning more about houseflies and insects than I ever wanted to know. And that's saying something because I'm the daughter of an entomologist. It's gonna be a fun week, let me tell you.
Oh, and one more thing. It's October! Which means it's PUMPKIN TIME!!! (Go here to see what I'm talking about.) I got all of my pumpkins out and placed yesterday. Picture? Why would I remember to take a picture? You can see them all when you come to see Tess's curtains. Then we can chat and chat, because in case you couldn't tell from the length of this post, it's been a while since I've had a good conversation with a grown up.
Time to go get the breakfast things out. Minus the sprinkles.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Drat
Well dang. I had every intention of blogging today. I crafted! And got more pictures of Cole's eye. (It's fantastically gross.) And had some other stuff.
But now I can't find my camera.
And I'm starting to feel sick, and I'm pretty sure I'm coming down with whatever mild bug Cole has. I don't feel like I'm at death's door, but I'm not feeling great, either.
So no 'real' blogging tonight. Sorry.
I will say this, though - during that conference talk today about having kids and how it's a blessing and a responsibility and all that good stuff? (And it is, it is. But the irony.) Our kids were being total punks. Really, punks. And I just couldn't help but think that we Madsens had multiplied and replenished the earth quite enough, thank you very much.
*sigh*
To bed.
But now I can't find my camera.
And I'm starting to feel sick, and I'm pretty sure I'm coming down with whatever mild bug Cole has. I don't feel like I'm at death's door, but I'm not feeling great, either.
So no 'real' blogging tonight. Sorry.
I will say this, though - during that conference talk today about having kids and how it's a blessing and a responsibility and all that good stuff? (And it is, it is. But the irony.) Our kids were being total punks. Really, punks. And I just couldn't help but think that we Madsens had multiplied and replenished the earth quite enough, thank you very much.
*sigh*
To bed.
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