Grandpa John's Funeral (And a Rough Week)

The week of Josh's birthday was rough. The Sunday before, I came down with a nasty, rotten summer cold. Everyone knows those are the worst.

That Monday I had my 2nd root canal in as many months. Root canals really aren't that bad, but they are when there are complications - which I had. The antibacterial stuff they put in my tooth somehow made it's way out of my tooth and up into my cheek. All of a sudden the space between my lip and my nose on the left side of my face felt like it was being stabbed with a flaming knife. It. Hurt. It didn't help that the dentist kinda freaked out for about a minute. I guess this is a super rare complication, and if not taken care of quickly can lead to some pretty bad stuff. But they got it under control and I survived. I don't blame my dentist - he's a really good dentist. I blame the stupidly weird roots in my teeth, which have been giving me nothing but problems this summer. Stupid teeth. I came out of that experience a bit dazed, sore, and with prescriptions for antibiotics and steroids.

On the plus side, both of these medications really helped with my cold symptoms, so there's that!

On Tuesday I was getting home from a nice long walk when my Dad called to let me know that my Grandpa John had died. (Grandpa John is my mother's father.) This was kind of a surprise but not really. Grandpa had been living in a nursing home for several years due to Parkinson's disease. He'd been on the decline for a while, but seemed to be doing better this summer. I had decided quite a while ago that when Grandpa died I would do all I could to go out to the funeral. It seemed important not only because he was my Grandpa and I loved him, but because since my mom died I felt like I should go for her and because I'm the oldest grandchild on that side of the family. (More on that later.)

So I got home and started looking for plane tickets and making preparations to leave on Friday. That weekend the primary was practicing for the annual Primary Program, so I had to find a substitute pianist. Thank heavens for my friend Sheri Easton, who happily accepted my plea for help. For most people this favor would have been daunting, but she's both an amazing pianist and friend. (Also, it must be pointed out that I was grateful Grandpa hadn't died a week later - I don't know that I would have had the nerve to ask her to sub for me for the actual program!)

Wednesday was busy with Josh's Arrow of Light ceremony and all of that. Wednesday night I was busy being super sick with food poisoning. Oh the joys. I was up until 4am, and my stupid FitBit app kept telling me I needed to get more sleep. That's all I'm going to say about that because I really just don't want to remember it.

Thursday I pretty much did nothing because I was so weak and tired. (And by 'nothing' I mean just the laundry, some cleaning, and grocery shopping. The life of a mom...) Seriously, it was miserable.

But by Friday I was feeling a bit better. Not well enough to eat, but certainly well enough to travel! My flight didn't get into SLC until 11:30. Dad and Susie picked me up and we were home in Provo well after midnight. I was exhausted.

But not exhausted enough to overcome jet lag, apparently. I was up by 5am. Yuck. This gave me plenty of time to get ready to head out to Tooele for the funeral, though! I drove out with my brothers and my Grandma Roper, who I really appreciated coming. She has always had just wonderful things to say about my Burgoyne Grandparents. I remember her telling me once that my Grandma Burgoyne was one of those most lovely women she had ever met. That stuck with me, especially since Grandma Burgoyne died when I was around 10, so I don't remember her very well.

The viewing was a little odd - but aren't all viewings? It was nice to see all my aunts and uncles and cousins there, though. Everyone all agreed that Grandpa looked odd in the casket, not because he was dead but because he didn't have his glasses on. He NEVER did not have his glasses!

The funeral was one of the best I have been to, which is kind of a weird thing to say but absolutely true. My uncle Dale gave the eulogy and my aunt Heidi read memories from each of the kids. One of my grandpa's best friends (and neighbor for decades) spoke for a bit, and it was fun to hear about grandpa from someone other than a family member. My dad gave an excellent talk, too, about the plan of salvation, and paying tribute to grandpa.

I have to stop here for a second and just give kudos to Dad and Susie - they helped Grandpa so much in the last few years since they were the family that lived the closest to him. They helped him move and made sure he came to family dinners throughout the year. They also did a ton for the funeral and basically all the work in clearing out Grandpa's room at the nursing home. I'm just impressed at all of the service they have given to him. They are a great example to me.

I didn't take many photos during this trip - I'm REALLY kicking myself that we didn't get a single family picture during the day. How did no one think of this?! It would have been so easy during the meal after! Dang it. I don't think the Burgoyne's are into pictures.

I did get a few pictures from the graveside service. My grandpa served in the Korean war, so he got full military honors. (Fun fact: I had asked him in the past about Korea and he always shrugged it off like it was no big deal and that he didn't do much. Turns out that wasn't quite true. The things you learn about people at their funerals!) ((Fun fact #2: He had originally planned to make the military a career. Then he went to the Korean War and decided, no, in fact he did not want to make the military a career. So he became a dentist instead. Good choice, Grandpa.))  (((I wonder if he ever encountered stupid teeth like mine?)))

They did a rifle salute, but with only 4 guns because there weren't enough available veterans in the area. Also, those veterans were so old!  There were several points during the ceremony - especially during the flag folding - when I thought someone might have to go help or even catch one of those guys. Good heavens! But I was certainly all the more grateful for them.

The pall bearers.

My grandpa's cousin brought up jars of red dirt from the "K Hill" in Kanab, where my grandpa grew up. Each of Grandpa's remaining children got to pour the dirt into the grave, which I thought was interesting and nice.

Here I am with all the Burgoyne cousins. (Minus the Ben and Zach, who are both serving their missions in Paris right now. Oh, and plus my cousin Sarah's fiance and cousin Stephen's brand new wife.) Anywho, can you tell I am SO much older than all of my cousins on that side! I was a teenager when Megan (the next oldest besides my brothers) was born. I remember when they were all born! In fact, I have 2 kids who are younger than Elsie, my youngest cousin on this side! That's because my mom was the 2nd oldest in her family and got married and had kids quite a bit earlier than her siblings.

The "outlaws" of the family (L-R): Susie, Dad, Susan (Dale's wife), Doug, Dave, and Leslie.

The remaining Burgoyne children: Dale, Lisa, Heidi, and Neil. (My mom and uncle Gary both died in 2004.)

At the graveside service with Grandma Roper.

That evening we had a quick dinner with the family at the home Heidi and Doug rented. It was nice to just chat and catch up with everyone! This side of the family doesn't do a regular reunion like the Ropers do. I really wish they would!

Sunday I went to church in Dad and Susie's ward, and it was nice to get to go to Sunday school and RS, although after being in Primary for so long I've found it's hard to pay attention and hold still! :) We also had a small Roper family dinner that night, and it was fun to surprise that side of the family because most didn't know I was in town.

Monday was spent packing and getting ready to leave. Dad and Susie took Kyle and I out to lunch at the Galilee Grill. It was delicious and I was particularly fond of the table numbers! (Camels are my fave.)

Things seemed to be looking up for me - until I got into Indy late at night and realized my luggage had not joined me on the trip. I think I waited by the luggage carousel longer than I normally would have because I was so tired. I couldn't even make a big fuss about it at the Southwest counter. (I probably wouldn't have anyways, but still. Tired. And no luggage.)

It took Southwest 2 days to get my suitcase to me. It wasn't the end of the world, but all my make-up and hair stuff was in there, so I looked awesome. Plus, for some reason I had packed my glasses, so I was without those, too, which was fairly inconvenient. I always put my glasses in my carry-on, but not this time! Oh well. Lesson learned.

If my luggage HAD to be lost, at least it was on the way home and not on the way out. (Can you even imagine? I'd have to rush to buy new clothes and shoes and make-up and get ready... it makes me stressed out just thinking about it.

My grandpa was a good man. He took care of his family. He was married to his first wife, Regina, for 30 years, many of which she was sick with cancer. And then he was married to Nancy for another 30 years. He lost a son and a daughter and a daughter-in-law within one year, but I never heard him question his testimony or complain about the unfairness of it all. (But it sure did age him, I think.) I think he always felt bad that he didn't serve a mission when he was young - when I was a teenager and in college he always seemed to bring up the importance of missions and the temple when we were around him. I got the feeling that he felt he had set a bad example in that respect. Which was crazy, because he and Nancy served several couple missions and then worked in the SLC temple for years and years! And he served faithfully in the church in so many different callings before that. He was anything but a bad example!

Grandpa was a funny guy. But not outright funny - he had a dry sense of humor you had to watch out for. He'd be quiet during family dinners and then quietly make some hilarious comment. He was known to tell fairly inappropriate jokes when the time was right. (Mostly of the good-natured, sexist variety; you knew he didn't mean them and that made them funnier!) Grandpa loved a good steak and fancy Snelgrove's vanilla ice cream. You knew what you were going to get to eat when you went to his house for dinner!

I'm grateful to have known my grandfather and to have had him in my life for so long. I'm grateful for the legacy and example he left. And I'm very grateful I was able to celebrate his life with the rest of my family at his funeral.

Josh's 11th Birthday - And Arrow of Light Ceremony!

So Josh turned 11.

WHAT THE WHAT?!!

I know it's ridiculous, because I KNOW my kids are going to grow up. I am glad they are growing up. But still. I think I'll probably always be amazed at each birthday, because a part of me will always think of them as the little toddlers that destroyed my house bit by bit.

(Perhaps it's the trauma of those toddler years that won't allow me to move on. Or perhaps I miss those years just a teeny tiny bit.)

Josh's birthday seemed to drag out this year. Even though it was an odd-year we let him invite the Culvers over for a birthday LAN party. I was happy to do this because 1) It didn't really take any planning or effort on my part, 2) my kids LOVE hanging out with the Culver kids, and the Tad and Lance are best buddies, and 3) it only cost some pizza. Worth it. The LAN party was held the Friday before his birthday.

Since his actual birthday was on a Tuesday, and we have piano lessons Tuesday night and I really didn't want to reschedule, we went out for his birthday dinner the night before. (Noodles & Company, Josh's fave.)

Finally his birthday morning arrived! I made a giant chocolate chip pancake in the rice cooker for breakfast because it seemed like a birthday thing to do. Don't mind his scowling - he's like that with pretty much everything at first. First he hates it, then he tolerates it, then he loves it. (You'd think after 11 years I'd be used to it, but it still drives me nuts.)

 

See, he warmed up. (Even after discovering I used those candles that are hard to blow out.)

Mmmm... pancakes from the rice cooker are delicious.

I let him open a couple of presents that morning, but forgot to take pictures. In fact, I forgot to take any pictures of any of the gifts! Oh well. Shopping for 11 year old boys is hard.

That morning I went to Mary Lou's to get doughnuts for his class. He has a big class this year, hence the first 2 boxes. The third box was for our family because Josh didn't want a cake and because I would have been in big trouble if I went to Mary Lou's and didn't bring anything home for the family!

It was nice not to have to make a birthday cake, but a birthday doughnut just isn't quite as grand. (Delicious, though.)

Wait, I did get a picture of the dang hamster toy I bought him. It records about 10 seconds of what you say and then repeats it back in a high, squeaky voice. And it moves. And it's annoying. And Josh and the kids LOVE IT.

The next day Josh was awarded his Arrow of Light for Cub Scouts. I won't go into detail about how hard it was to get this done - not because of Josh, but because of the leaders. Sheesh. Suffice it to say, there was much grumbling on my part. Stupid Cub Scouts.

Anyways, it was pack meeting, and they did a really good job of making it a special night for Josh. He's the first kid to get the Arrow of Light in our pack in quite a while!

They didn't have a bridge for him to cross over, but Kelly and Reni Evans decorated a ladder that worked great! (See Spencer in the background? He was the Boy Scout representative to welcome Josh to Boy Scouts. Which is funny because Spencer was skipping Court of Honor that night. He was not sad about this because Spencer is not really into Scouting. And that's okay.)

Reni helping Josh into a Boy Scout shirt. (I refuse to buy Josh his own because Spencer's turning 14 (!!!!!) in December and won't be doing Varsity Scouts. Josh can use his shirt.)

Oh my goodness. The cuteness.

I mean manliness. What a manly, many 11 year old!! (So cute!)

Josh was quite pleased with himself and everything else, but of course acted too cool for school about it all. That's how he do.

I was asked to make Arrow of Light themed treats for the evening. Um, what? My only inspiration online was elaborately decorated cakes. No thanks. So I went for cupcakes with arrow fletching sticking out of them. (Hooray for my Cricut!) They were well received, but let's be honest - I could have brought gross old store-bought cookies and those scouts would have eaten them!

Josh has had a great year. He's really grown up and matured in many ways. Sure, he has his moments, but don't we all? Josh is so smart. Like, really smart. And motivated and driven. When he wants to he works hard and does his best. He has the best sense of humor! He's a good big brother, even though he does like to press buttons and get reactions from certain brothers. (It's a skill he's perfected.) Josh aches to be older, but still seems to have a great time being a kid. I'm so glad Josh is in our family, and can't wait to see what the next big year brings!

Warren Dunes

For literal YEARS we have been wanting to go up to one of the beaches on Lake Michigan. But we were either busy on weekends or the weather wasn't good or we had baseball tournaments. There always seemed to be something. But on September 2nd we finally made it up there! We went with our Hoosier family, the Reams, who are beach pros. Their favorite beach is Warren Dunes State Park, so that's where we went. Bonus: I'd never been to Michigan, so I now get to cross that off my "states I've never been to" list.

The weather was GORGEOUS. Mid-70s, light breeze; not too hot, but not too cold, either. Unfortunately, the water was FREEZING. The kids spent most of the morning playing in the sand, but Bergen, Cole, and Tess braved the water in the afternoon. The older boys all walked in the lake up to their knees, but wisely decided not to get dunked.

I don't know what it is about the beach, but it makes Lance want to dig. He's like a dog or something. And not just dig a little bit - when Lance digs a hole he goes all out. The kids love it. (See the screened tent in the far upper left? That's ours.)

Sandy bottoms abounded.

The hole was deep enough that Tess needed help to get in!

Then they built causeways for water, and seats for themselves in the hole.

During all the construction I lounged in the sun, chatted with Gigi and Craig, and ate snacks. It was awesome.

No matter how cold, kids are always drawn to water.

I got my feet wet, but that was about it.

Lance and I are generally really good about slathering our children in sunscreen, but I think the cooler temperatures made us forget. Our poor kids were burnt to a crisp by the end of the day!

There's a big dune at the park that we decided to climb. What a work out! Kudos to Lance for staying with Tess and coaxing her up all 260 feet.

There's Lance in the middle (green t shirt) with Tess on the ground. They'd go a few feet and then hunt for tiny shells.

Me and my big floppy hat. It helped me be the only person in the family not to go home rosy red.

The view from the top was pretty awesome. It was up there that I decided we really needed to come to the beach every summer. (I think the kids decided that the moment we pulled in!)

Our hooligans at the top of the dune.

Obligatory selfie.

This could have been such an amazing picture, but Tess was not cooperating. Out of the 387 I took, this was the best. That child...

Going down the dune was far more fun - Tess somersaulted, slid, and rolled all the way down!

Feet in sand feels good.

The picture doesn't do it justice - it was a pretty tall dune! Cole kept wanting to go up and down it again, but couldn't convince anyone to go with him.

We played and ate and chatted all afternoon. By around 5pm we were all tired and worn out enough that no one complained when it was time to go home.

It was a great day and is definitely becoming a new family summer tradition.

Birthday Present

My Grandma Reva Roper turns 90 this month. (I'm pretty sure she won't mind me telling you how old she is because 1) she's never seemed to concerned about the nonsense that is being embarrassed about your age, and 2) she's having a party later this month and the invitations clearly state her age!)

Grandma has been a solid foundation for me my entire life. Some of my earliest memories are of staying at her house when I was really little while my parents were at school/work. Granted, most of these memories feature Buffy, the dog she had at the time and who I LOVED and shared my popcorn and soda with, but still. It was Grandma's house.

When we lived in North Carolina while my dad got his doctorate we would come out to UT for a couple of weeks in the summer and usually at Christmas. In the summer I remember sleeping in her basement, where it was always cool and really dark. In the winter it was always snug and warm. (When Buffy was alive, she'd come down and sleep at the foot of my bed, under the covers.) Grandma's house had an awesome green marble toy that we'd play with for hours, and ice cream buckets full of Matchbox cars and a big car play mat with streets and buildings and stuff drawn on it. In the summer her backyard was always so pretty (still is!), with lush green grass, lots of flowers, and lots of area to run and play in. And a swing set, at least until it got taken out for Valerie's wedding. And in the winter it always seemed to have snow, which was pretty magical to a kid who lived in the south at the time. (I realize now that it probably didn't always have snow, but that's what I remember!)

As I got older, and once she returned from her mission in Munich, I was able to go over to Grandma's house quite often while I attended BYU; my roommates got to know and love Grandma Roper as well! She even hosted the dinner part of one of my dance dates. (I think it was homecoming my senior year. And I *think* Lance was my date.) She insisted that we attend both convocation and commencement when I graduated, something I would have rather had skipped since I was getting married the next week. But now I'm so glad she did! It was at Grandma's house that Lance gave me my engagement ring; he had proposed several weeks earlier, but we had it custom made and it took a few weeks to get done. And it was at Grandma's house where I spent my last night in UT before trekking east to Indiana. It was unexpected, as we were supposed to leave that day, but we had issues with the moving truck and didn't want to drive in the middle of the night.

Grandma gave so much support to me and - especially - to my Dad when my mom died. She offered support and needed advice as I tried to figure out this whole mothering thing when Spencer was born. She re-introduced Susie and my Dad, which has been an enormous blessing in my life and the lives of my kids.

These are just a fraction of my memories that include Grandma; I could go on and on. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that Grandma has had a large impact on my life. She is an amazing example and one of my favorite people, and I'm just grateful and thankful to have her in my life!

I've been struggling trying to think of a birthday gift that would communicate how much she means to me. At 90 years old, I figured she didn't really need more 'stuff'. I don't live nearby, so I can't take her out to dinner or spend extra time with her. (Although I will be out for the party!) And then last night it hit me: she has been fairly vocal about my not blogging any more, saying she missed my updates and pictures. So, Grandma, for your birthday I will try to blog every day this month. Some will be backlogged things I should have already posted about, some will probably just be short anecdotes. But I will try my very best to get it done! And who knows, maybe I'll get back into the habit and blogging will become more regular for me.

Happy birthday, Grandma. I love you and hope you enjoy your gift!