Thursday, December 15, 2011

An Event-filled Day

Today was rather busy and event-filled.  Mostly in a good way.  Soggily in not a good way.

As all my blog stalkers know, today is Spencer's 8th birthday.  (Because I'm sure you keep track of that sort of thing.  Ha.)  A birthday is reason enough to have a busy day.  However, today was not all about Spencer's birthday for reasons we will get to shortly.

Okay, enough beating around the bush.  The day started with a birthday breakfast for Spencer - PopTarts, fruit, and eggs. (I said birthday breakfast, not healthy breakfast!)  He got to open two presents, which he was rather excited about.  The first was a new winter coat, since his old one didn't have a working zipper. A coat without a zipper is not an option during Indiana winters.  The second was a "Muggle" t-shirt that his grandparents Roper sent to him from their trip to Harry Potter World.  It was a size small in mens and went down to his knees, but he fell in love instantly and refused to take it off.  I convinced him to tuck it into his pants, but he had it pulled out by the end of the day.  Perhaps if I wash it and put it in the dryer for several hours...

The next big event was in the form of Lance and Tess and I having lunch with Spencer at school as a birthday surprise.  I had come up with this idea a long time ago, knowing that Spencer would love it - and he did.  He had a big goofy grin on his face and welcomed us very excitedly when he saw us in the hall he was coming down on his way to lunch.  Then he took command and showed us exactly where to go and what to do.  He was nice and chatty during lunch and loved showing off his baby sister to everyone.  I learned four things during lunch today:
  1. No matter when or where you went to elementary school, lunch always has one thing in common: NOISE.
  2. The stools attached to tables in the lunchroom?  Not designed for old momma's like me holding squirmy-wormy babies like Tess.
  3. Spencer's school has 5 minutes of "Quiet Lunch" at the end of the lunch period, during which no one is allowed to talk and all the kids focus on eating.  I'm pretty sure those last 5 minutes are when 75% of most of the lunches are eaten.  It's a brilliant idea I may be stealing for breakfasts in our house.
  4. Tess does not like Quiet Lunch.  During that exact time she decided to get ornery and mad, throwing her food and bellowing out loud.  Naughty baby.
The afternoon was rather uneventful, just how I like my afternoons.  But then I decided to shake things up right before I got started on dinner.  See, my fancy-shmancy new washer needs to wash itself once a month.  I decided to get that done this afternoon.  This includes taking out a filter at the bottom and cleaning it out.  I did this and then must have gotten distracted by some child (the birthday boy, in this case), and forgot to put the filter back in all the way.  I started the cleaning cycle and left the room.

Minutes later I walked downstairs just as Lance ran from the office and into the storage room - water was pouring from the ceiling.  We raced upstairs and were horrified to discover that the laundry room was flooded!  Lance tried to turn off the washer while I reached behind the machine and switched off the water valves. 

Oh. My. Mess.

While I went to work with the carpet cleaner, sucking up as much water as I could, and then mopping up the rest, Lance went downstairs to try to salvage what he could. It was a rather unpleasant chore for both of us.  And now the ceiling tiles in our storage room are all water stained, joining the tiles that are underneath our upstairs bathrooms (courtesy of boys who think they are Shamu while bathing) and the kitchen sink (courtesy of our faucet who, just this morning, decided to come apart at the base and flood things a little.  Come to think of it, that was rather eventful, too.)  Anyone know where I can get suspended ceiling tiles on the cheap?  I need approximately 392 of them.

Oh - and before I forget, because this is awesome - when Lance went downstairs to clean up he found Cole in the middle of the storage room with his head up and his mouth open, drinking the ceiling water.  Once again - that boy ain't right.  There was bleach in the water, not much, but some.  Hopefully it won't poison him or anything.  But seriously, how could I tell if he started acting weird from the bleach?  That boy is always acting weird.  He's a loon.

Anywho, here are the silver linings I've tried to come up with for the Great Flood of 2011:
  1. The laundry room floor has never been cleaner.  Ever.
  2. At least the laundry room is not situated above the office.  Because that would have been AWFUL.  I'm pretty sure Lance would be tempted to leave me if I flooded his computers.
  3. The storage room damage was very minimal.  Mostly the carpet got wet, which I spent quite a while going over with the carpet cleaner.  
  4. As mentioned, there was bleach in the water.  This, coupled with the cool weather, will hopefully inhibit any mold growth between now and when it dries out.
Our final event of the evening was Josh's pre-k Christmas Program.  I'll admit, by the time we had cleaned up the flood, eaten dinner, and gotten everybody dressed and presentable, the last thing I wanted to do was go to this program.  But of course we went, and I'm glad we did.  Joshie was so sweet and cute up there, singing his Christmas songs, doing the actions, and shaking his jingle bell!  And Cole actually kinda behaved himself, even though he was in a chapel (which he is apparently allergic to, given how he acts each week in Sacrament meeting!).  And this preschool knows what they're doing - 10-15 minutes of program, 30-45 minutes of eating cookies and drinking punch.  That's the perfect ratio for a large group of young families with a gazillion little kids!

So that's why Spencer couldn't really have his birthday today - Josh's program.  But no worries.  Because not only did he get a special birthday breakfast this morning, but he's also getting a special birthday dinner and excursion tomorrow and a big Harry Potter Birthday Party on Saturday.  The child is not picked on in the least.  (Well, he did have to have a math test today, so I guess he was a little picked on.)

So that was my day.  Let's hope (pray!  PRAY for me!!) that tomorrow is much more mellow.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Belated Sunday Smiles

On Sunday I tried to get a few smiles out of Tess.  Josh demanded to be in on the action.  And then this happened.







Next week you're not invited, Josh.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Hungry Baby

I made a rookie mistake at the grocery store today. 

They were giving out free samples of meatballs covered in barbecue sauce, so of course we had to stop and get one for Josh and Cole.  I got a bit distracted and, without thinking about it, put my grocery list on Tess's lap.

Oops.


This is what it looked like by the time I realized what I had done.  No trace of the bitten paper remained. She had swallowed it all, making me, once again, the best mother ever.  Sheesh.

In other very much related news, Tess cut her first tooth!  I noticed it yesterday while at church.  So far that wily baby has prevented me from getting a picture of it.  Oh well, all in due time.

Friday, December 9, 2011

1500th Post!!!!

Well friends, I had all sorts of grand and glorious plans for my 1500th post.  Fireworks!  Candy!  Sponsored giveaways!  "You get a car!  And you get a car!  And you get a car!"

Not really.  But I had hoped to go for something deep and profound.  Or at least witty and entertaining.  But I'm afraid I'm feeling none of that lately.  I'm wiped out.  Christmas is a busy time of year, but this year even more so with Spencer's baptism, family coming, a feral toddler running around the house, and still trying to edit papers part time because our house has decided to fall apart.

In my ponderings of what to write about I kept coming back to my old stand by: funny things my kids have said lately.  And hey, there's nothing inherently wrong with that.  They're the bread and butter of most of my blog fodder.  It seems fitting.

Spencer
Last Saturday was our ward's Christmas party.  It. Was. Packed.  Seriously, our ward has already outgrown our new building.  This is both a good and a bad thing.  Anyway, as we were herding the children out to the minivan to leave, I realized that my platter was still in the dessert room.  Fortunately, I only had Cole with me.  Unfortunately, I had Cole with me.  So what should have taken 2 minutes to do took at least 7.

While waiting for us in the car, Lance and Spencer had the following conversation:

Lance (teasing): Where's Mommy?  Well, maybe we should just leave her.  Let's go.

(I like to think he revved up the car here, just for dramatic effect.)

Spencer (horrified): NO!!  Don't leave Mommy!

Lance: Why not?

Spencer (in all seriousness): Because who will cook the food?!?

It's nice to know my true place in the family.

Joshua
On the way home from preschool we often chat about what he learned that day.  Today they talked about the letter "j" and jobs.  I asked him what kind of jobs he could name.

Joshua: ...doctor, dentist, store worker, painter, vegetarian...

Me (interrupting): Wait, what? 

Joshua: Vegetarian.

Me (speaking slowly): A veg-eh-tare-eee-ahn?

Joshua: Yeah, they have a really hard job!

Me: What do they do?

Joshua (rolling his eyes): You know, they take care of pets and animals.  Animal doctors.

Me (lightbulb going off in my head): Aha!  A veterinarian! 

Joshua: Yeah.  I know.

Me: What job do you want when you grow up?

Joshua (without skipping a beat): A wrestling teacher.

Me: Okay then.  Glad that's settled.

Joshua: I would be great at it because I'm great at wrestling!

I promise to keep you all updated as to how Josh's career plans progress over the next 1500 blog posts.

Mr. Cole
Yesterday afternoon I had Tess on my lap while I was sitting at the kitchen table.  Cole came up and wanted some attention.  He got a bit too close and Tess suddenly had a deathgrip on a good chunk of his hair.  Her chubby little hands did not intend to ever let go, but eventually Cole wrangled himself free.  The following "conversation" ensued.

Cole: Hey!  That's Cole's head!

Tess: Thhhhbbbbtttt!

Cole and Tess: Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

I should mention that both of these children have developed the curious habit of laughing like goats lately.  It is quite hilarious and strange.  Of course, neither will perform when the camera is on.  You will have to come hear my goat children for yourself.

Tess
Tess has had very little to say lately.  Unless you count her constant yelling and shrieks of joy.  Or anger.  Or boredom.  The girl is loud, is what I'm saying, but, just like most politicians, she has very little worth listening to. (Zing!)  But, to make up for it, she is exceptionally cute.


Enough said.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Snack Rat

We apparently have a snack zombie in the house.


Actually, he's more like a snack rat.  This boys keeps sneaking around the house, stealing goodies, and then eating it all himself.

A couple weeks ago I went into the storage room, where I keep a lot of extra pantry and food storage items.  Hidden in the back of one of the shelves was a large bag of peanut M&M's that had been crudely cut open. (Not that I usually have M&Ms on hand, but I had gotten these for a really good price and was saving them for something special.) This was a large bag, and 3/4s of the M&Ms had been eaten.

Joshie confessed to his crime, was lectured quite generously, and then received the punishment of not getting to have dessert the next night when the missionaries came for dinner.  Harsh, I know, but hey - he'd already had his dessert and then some.

Last week I filled our advent calendar with Hershey Kisses.  (It's a cute, reusable one my mom made for me in college.)  We had lots of extra Kisses, which I put in a plastic bowl and put on top of the fridge.  The next day as I changed Cole's diaper I noticed a plethora of Kisses wrappers in the garbage can.  Seriously, the culprit had probably eaten a dozen of them!

Josh was coerced into confessing.  His punishment was to miss a few of his turns in getting the chocolate from the advent calendar.  Not as harsh, I know, but hey - it's Christmas.  Plus, I was pretty impressed that he was willing to climb to the top of the fridge to get them.  The Kisses were moved into the locked pantry.

Yesterday I was in the storage room again.  And once again I found a crudely opened package.  This time it was strawberry yogurt raisins and the entire bag was empty.

I didn't give Josh a chance to confess.  I was MAD.  This was getting ridiculous!  I admit, I yelled at him to go his room, mainly because I needed some time away from him to calm down.  Once I was calm we had a serious talk about what had been going on.  How this food was NOT HIS food to just eat whenever he wanted.  Him taking this food and eating it was like stealing from the whole family.  Plus, eating all of that junk is not healthy.  In fact, Josh had been having digestion issues earlier, and now I'm wondering if the massive dose of yogurt raisins had something to do with that.

This time I think (I hope!) he understood.  He also got his harshest sentence yet: no computer for 2 whole days.  That doesn't sound like much, but to Josh that's an eternity.  He was also told that if anymore food went missing I would tell Santa not to bring him anything - especially candy - for his stocking.  The horror!

Then I moved all 'tempting' food out of Joshie's reach.

That boy... let's just hope we have some Christmas goodies left by the time all my family gets here!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Snowman Army

Josh has been a little under the weather the past few days.  Not deathly ill, but not well enough to go to preschool.  Which means he's been moping around the house, bored out of his skull. 

So yesterday I decided to help him make some salt dough ornaments.  He was really excited and cut out quite a few.  But then I showed him how to make a snow man, and then he decided what he really needed was a snowman army. 

That's what all little boys need.  A snowman army.

So made 'em, baked 'em, cooled 'em, and colored 'em.  And this is what we ended up with.


Are they not pure awesomeness?  And this is only a few of them.  (I left the smaller ones in the kitchen because, well, how many snowmen does my banister really need?)


Josh especially loves the angry ones. He chastized me for the smiling faces!  "Mommy, this is a snowman army!  They are fighting!"


Excuse the rotgut pictures.  My camera decided to have issues.  Stupid camera.


The one above is supposed to have three smiles (hahaha!  Three smiles!  To a five year old this is hilarious.)  But to me it looks like a Colts snowman.  Poor Colts.  They are so terrible this year.


Oh man.  I think I prefer the mean and scared looking ones, too.


Don't kid yourself - you know you wish you had a snowman army, too.

Two New Family Members

Two new members of the family moved in yesterday afternoon.  The first one's name is Henry.  He's not very exciting, but he's very essential.


Henry is a water heater. 

Remember a month or two ago when I was complaining about having to buy a new water heater?  Well, our old one quieted down after that and started behaving itself, so Lance and I decided that we would wait a few months to get a new one.  But last week our old one started making that screeching noise again (the bearings in the motor were wearing out), only this time it was worse than ever.  And of course the pipes that carry the noise run right through Tess's room.  So that, coupled with the fact that we will have a house full of guests over Christmas, kinda forced the issue.

So last week I went out and bought the water heater.  And instead of installing it ourselves, Lance and I decided to give each other the gift of installation for Christmas.  Romantic, I know.  That, and we didn't have a clear Saturday for the next 5 weeks.

Anywho, the guys came to install it only to let me know that Lowe's had sold me the wrong water heater.  I had bought a regular gas water heater and what I needed was a forced vent water heater.

Of course.

So I had to go back to Lowe's and get it all taken care of.  I will say this for Lowe's - they have great customer service.  They really took care of everything and made sure I knew they were sorry about this whole thing. (Although technically it was really my fault, although in this case I didn't know what I didn't know.)  So anywho, I bought a forced vent water heater.  Which was, of course, $200 more than the original one I bought.  Of course.  They tried to make me feel better by explaining that forced vent ones are way more efficient, but it didn't really take out the sting considering this was the 4th major appliance I had purchased in the last 6 months.  This number impressed the sales guy, and I have to admit that did make me feel a little better.

Yesterday afternoon the nice plumbers took out the old, stupid water heater and installed Henry.  And, gratifyingly, they had to do a LOT of magical plumbing work to get him installed.  Lance and I figure that with the parts and tools we would have had to buy to install Henry ourselves we would have spent as least as much money as we paid for professionals to do it, not to mention how much grief the whole process would have brought us.  For all we know those plumbers just saved our marriage.

So.  Now we have quiet hot water, thanks to Henry.

Oh, and just in case you're interested, here's who's keeping Henry company down in the utility closet.

K-9, our brand new water softener.  (What?  I think it looks like K-9 from Dr. Who.)  (Who are you calling a geek?!?!)


And Tony, the sewer pump.  (Okay, you can't really see him because he's under that brand new $50 sewer pump cover that Lance had to replace last week because the old one was rusting away and Cole stepped through it and almost killed himself on Thanksgiving day.) 


Wait - who's Tony?  That's the name of the original homeowner, and the person I blame for all of the junky appliances and problems with the house.  Why?  Because I need a scapegoat. Plus, who puts a metal cover over the sewer pump?  I mean, seriously.


The second new family member is not essential at all but very, very exciting.


This is... um... well, I haven't come up with a name for her yet.  But isn't she pretty?  That's a 6 quart professional KitchenAid stand mixer, baby!  Bigger!  More powerful!  Red!!!!

This beauty is the product of an offer I couldn't refuse.  Back in October when my family came out for the doughnut party, my dad realized that my regular mixer just wasn't big enough for the batches of doughnuts I had to make.  And then he heard me complaining about how it was often too small for the batches of cookies or bread dough I wanted to make.  And then he realized that he wanted a mixer to make his own doughnuts.  So he offered to buy me a new one if I gave him my old one.  One cannot refuse a generous offer like this, especially from the Capo di Tutti Capi himself.

So I watched the sales and rebate offers and got his lovely for 48% off the original price.  Happy birthday to me!


So, those are two new family members.  Hopefully any others who will be joining us soon will be in the non-essential-but-exciting category.  (Like a new camera.  My old one's getting worse, dang it.)  But I'm not holding my breath.  My oven has been acting up lately.