Questions

Question: Have you ever taken four kids to Menards to buy eight 10-foot pieces of PVC pipe and approximately 938 PVC pipe fittings?

Answer: Don't.  Really, I'm not even kidding, don't do it.  Learn from my mistakes, people.

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Question: Have you ever had to threaten your four-year-old with a gruesome death while in Menards when he decides it's a good idea to try to climb the wire shelving that holds literally thousands of PVC pipe fittings?

Answer: I sure hope not.  Because death threats don't work with four-year-olds.  Threats of not going to swimming lessons the next day or not getting dessert?  Now those work.  But only after getting dirty looks from store employees.

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Question: Do all two-year-old boys forget where the walls in their home are placed and run into them daily?

Answer: In our house they do.  And sometimes they get faint black eyes from it.  Bonus!

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Question: Do all baby girls HAVE to be held all evening because if not they will absolutely DIE?

Answer: Apparently, yes.  Well, maybe not DIE, but they will certainly holler and scream and cry and fuss and hiccup until you give in and just hold them because if you don't you will certainly go crazy because that baby is not giving up any time soon.  I'm holding one right now, draped over my arm like some sort of accessory, fast asleep and lightly drooling down my arm.

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Question: Is baby drool ever charming?

Answer: Sometimes.  But only when it is your baby.

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Question: Do all seven-year-old boys fall to pieces with diva-like tantrums whenever their younger brothers tease them?

Answer: No really, I want to know.  Because they sure do at our house.

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Question:  Are pollen and other allergy counts always the worst/highest during seasons you can't take any medication for them because you are nursing a baby who drools charmingly?

Answer: Yes. Always.