Since we're nearing the end of our winter break and a big ol' storm and Arctic front are coming in this weekend, I figured today would be a good day to get out of the house. And where better to go than Sam's Club?
So I schlepped all the kids down there and met Lance for lunch. Of course, nothing is simple with these children of mine; at least one of them has to be a punk no matter what we are doing. Lately, Josh has been the chosen punk for most things, and today was no exception. Even though we had been talking about this lunch since the night before, and even though there's only a handful of items on the menu, the child could not make up his mind for what to order. He whined and cried, but refused to give me an answer. Since there was a long line behind us I ordered a hot dog for him.
Big mistake.
Even though he refused to tell me what he wanted, and even though I specifically asked him if he wanted a pretzel and he specifically told me "NO", he freaked out once he realized I had gotten him a hot dog.
THE HORROR!!!
So life was miserable for Josh, and, by extension, me.
Tess, on the other hand, was in heaven.
Cole was, too. He loves Sam's Club almost as much as Tess does. (He and I used to have almost weekly dates there.)
Lance and Spencer were pretty happy as well, mainly because the didn't have to sit at the same table as Josh.
This was the only picture I was able to get of Josh. He was pretty unbearable for most of lunch. He finally shared some of his hot dog for some of Cole's pretzel, but he still complained and complained. I think part of the problem is that he has a REALLY loose tooth that's bothering him. He won't let us take it out but he won't wiggle it out either, even though you can see the adult tooth coming in. Gross.
The rest of the adventure was pretty much up and down. Herding four children around Sam's Club is a job and a half. But they loved getting the free samples - even a full juice box this time! We finally finished our shopping with a full cart, only for me to realize that I had lost my card. #$%#&#$%!!!! No way was I leaving all the stuff in the cart, so off to Member Services we went. Of course there was a 10 minute line there, but they had my card, so all was mostly forgiven.
By the time we got to the checkout we were at crisis mode. Cole and Tess were tired and Spencer and Josh could not stop bickering. It all came to a head when Cole decided to head-butt Tess. As she screeched loud enough to wake the dead I wrangled him out of the cart and threatened his little life under my breath. Spencer and Josh started boxing. I threatened their existence as well.
Tess, whose pride was more injured than her head, screamed the entire way out. And for some reason Spencer could NOT leave the girl alone. Even though he was trying to help her, everything he said just made things worse. After asking him several times to leave her alone I finally lost it and yelled something along the lines of "FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND GOOD, JUST LEAVE THE CHILD ALONE AND GET IN THE CAR!!!!"
To his credit he did. For about 90 seconds.
I could tell that those around us in the parking lot were highly entertained.
As we drove home I quietly swore I would never take all four to Sam's Club again.
Perhaps next time it will just have to be a Mommy-Daughter date.
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