Why I Hate the Snow

I hate the snow.

Not really the snow itself, so much.  I mean, snowblowing and shoveling isn't loads of fun, but it's not the worst, either.  I think the snow is pretty at first, but I'm not a big fan when it sticks around forever and gets all gross.

No, the reason I hate the snow is because then I have to deal with getting my kids dressed for it.

This morning was a fairly typical episode.  Everyone decided they wanted to go play in the snow. This meant I had to drop whatever I was doing because Tess and Cole can't get all their gear on themselves and there's NO WAY IN HE#$%##!! that they'd wait while Spencer and Josh got ready.

Fights broke out over boots, pants, gloves, and hats.  The prevailing logic seemed to be that if you wore those boots/pants/whatever once, they were yours forever, nevermind the fact that you haven't fit them in over a year.  NO ONE else was allowed to even look at them.

Discussion broke out over why I am not willing to buy everyone brand new snow gear every season.  Hand-me-downs are perfectly reasonable for items only worn a handful of times a year.

We have this conversation Every Time It Snows.

Getting Cole and Tess geared up takes a good 15 minutes because they don't believe in holding still or, heaven forbid, actually helping to get themselves dressed.

I had gotten Tess's pants and boots on when she ran away.  So I got to work on Cole, figuring she'd come back eventually.  A few minutes later I heard her and Spencer walk out the door.

By the time I ran to the back porch Tess was already face down in the snow, apparently having fallen down the steps.  Spencer just stood over her saying things like "It's okay, it's just snow!"  Of course he had his coat and gloves on and wasn't in the snow, so Tess did not agree as she flailed around and hollered.

I, of course (of course!) had wet hair and no shoes or socks on. So I hollered over Tess and told Spencer if he had any sense of self-preservation he'd pick that child up and get her back on the porch before I came back with her coat and gloves.

He did.

But not without much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.

We brushed Tess off, coated her up, and finally everyone was outside.  I started some housework.

Not FIVE MINUTES LATER Cole came back in, complaining about the cold and not wanting to play anymore.

"Are you sure you want to come in?"
"Yeeessssss!"
"Are you sure?  Sure sure?  Because once you come in you can't go back out."
"Yeeessssss!"

So we get him all undressed.  As soon as he's done, Josh comes tromping through my kitchen, getting snow everywhere, even though I've yelled at him told him a hundred times not to do so.

"Someone'd better be bleeding.  Or dead."
"Well, Spencer's being mean and he won't play right and..."
"You came in here to tattle?!?!"
*Evil eye given*
Josh shrinks back a little in fear, and quickly decides to head back out.

I get back to my housework.

Cole starts complaining about wanting to play outside.  I give him the evil eye, but he is apparently immune to it.  I tell him if he really wants to go outside he will have to put all of his gear on himself.  He starts whining and crying.

Five minutes later Tess decides to come in.  I help her undress.

Cole continues to whine.

Tess and Cole start jumping on my good couch and I get after them for it.  They stop.  I leave the room and 3.5 seconds later I hear a loud thump and the wail of a little girl.  She has obviously fallen off of the couch mid-bounce.  I comfort her while Cole whines about being inside.  I banish them both to the basement, turning a movie on for them to keep them out of my hair for at least a few minutes.

Spencer comes in, claiming it's too cold and no one else is outside to play with.   Josh eventually comes inside as well, also complaining, and getting snow all over the place again.

Thirty minutes ago my house was clean; all picked up and vacuumed and neat.  Now there are coats, snowpants, dripping boots, and damp gloves and hats strewn about as if a snow gear bomb was set off.

THIS is why I hate the snow.