Utah Trip - Getting There and Back

So I've been a bit slack on blogging about my recent trip. I have several excuses, like crazy kids and warm sunny days and lots of work to get done around the house. But also it's hard to think of some way to make the posts interesting to anyone outside of who wasn't there. Because really - how exciting are other people's vacation photos?

Exactly.

That, am I'm feeling really lazy lately as far as blogging goes.

But, it must be done! The trip deserves to be immortalized through my blog and in subsequent blog books. Plus, certain grandparents would be very irked if I ignored it all.

So, slowly but surely, here goes:

This is a picture of the kiddos during our layover in Minneapolis during the trip out.

I have to say, my kids are really excellent travelers. There were no horrible tantrums, no unforgivable messes, no diaper explosions... what more could a mom ask for?

That said, here are "Maren's Rules for Traveling with the Savages a.k.a. Your Kids":

1. Pray. Lots. Because sometimes that's your only hope! (I prayed for an extra seat for Josh, no diaper explosions, and the patience of Job. Even silly prayers are answered!)
2. Always take two of each toy, because no one will want to share. For example: child A could have half a broken, freshly chewed, red crayon. To child B, this will seem the holy grail of toys; he MUST have it. Always have two of each toy.
3. Always take extra clothes for your kids in your carry-on bag. This will ensure that you will not need them. Trust me: if you don't have them, your child will decide to be messier than a pig in a fresh mud hole during the first 15 minutes of your journey.
4. It's okay to let your kids play with the barf bags. It's not like they've been used before. (Really, I don't know why it bugs me when they play with them. Let it go Maren, let it go.)
5. Turbulence makes little bladders very weak. Your child will always have to go potty during the worst of it. Ignore the evil looks from the flight attendants and just let him go!
6. Always have an emergency bribe. I am definitely not above bribery when it comes to traveling. My bribe of choice: M&M's. I needed them the last 30 minutes of the last flight home for Josh; I've never been so happy for a pack of M&M's in my life!
   

Self-portrait Tuesday

Okay, so this isn't really a self-portrait, since I didn't take the picture. (Wait, does it have to be a picture you take of yourself? Because quite frankly, most pictures I take of myself aren't that great. Okay, new rule for my blog: self-portrait can mean a picture I take of myself or that someone else takes of me. Me me me. Welcome to Maren-land.)

Anywho...

This is one of the very rare pictures of me on my trip to UT.


Joshie and I are enjoying the huge aquariums at Cabela's. (Ever been to Cabela's? It's like a life science museum with a huge store wrapped around it.) Okay, Josh isn't really enjoying it. He's had an irrational fear of aquariums for most of his short life. (See where it started here.) He actually overcame this fear during a later visit to the aquarium, but during this picture he was still wary of those bloodthirsty-looking rainbow trout.

Me? I wasn't afraid of the fish. I was more concerned about Josh pulling down the front of my shirt and flashing my family. Again.

Ah, motherhood.

Flower Power

All of my daffodils and tulips are in full bloom.
Joy!

I can honestly say that they are the best looking daffodils and tulips on my street. But that's only because I think they are the only daffodils and tulips on my street. I'll take my glory where I can get it.

Killer Jet Lag

My kids have killer jet lag from the trip.

And by killer I mean that I am going to kill them if they don't get over it soon.

This jet lag brought about one of the most mortifying experiences of my life this morning.

Picture this:

• Two little boys starting to fight almost immediately after I bought them a swing set. (Yes, a swing set, for Pete's sake!)
• A ten minute Joshie tantrum, which includes but is not limited to: non-stop screaming and yelling, pitching himself out of my arms, grabbing onto my legs and wanting to be held once I put him down, absolutely FREAKING OUT when I strap him into the shopping cart so that he won't hurt himself and will stop attacking Spencer, wanting everything and nothing all at once, and much, much more.
• Spencer antagonizing Josh in the middle of his tantrum. (Okay, what in the world was he thinking?!? I mean, really...)
• Several mothers passing by me with sympathetic looks. Several non-mothers passing by me and giving me the "You are obviously a TERRIBLE mother" look.
• A Wal-Mart employee coming up to me and providing me with the following helpful conversation:
  
• WME: "Is he okay?"
  
• Me: "He's just having a tantrum. It'll pass."
  
• WME: "He doesn't look okay."
  
• Me (while giving the look of death): "Excuse me?"
• At which point she walked away. Which is just as well because I had a few more choice words for a woman whose career of choice is working at Wal-Mart and giving unsolicited parenting advice.
• Me finally giving up and deciding to leave. I picked up Josh (who screamed louder at this), grabbed Spencer by the hand (who had started to yell "We can't leave! We have no food at home!), and left the cart in the middle of the aisle.
• Taking the walk of shame through the store with a bawling boy in each arm.

It was awful.

I came home and put both kids to bed. Then I spent the rest of the day in manual labor because it was either that or run away from home. I weeded and raked the garden and flower beds, mowed the lawn, swept out the garage, and some other stuff.

Whew.

So my question is this: am I the only terrible mother in the world, or has anyone else had a similar experience? (Please say you have...)

I'm Baaaaaccckkkk...

I'm finally back from Utah.

But I don't really feel like posting a ton about it today.

I'm beat.

Wrangling two small boys across the country will take somethin' out of a woman.

So will wrestling the same lil' banshees into their church clothes at 8am the next morning.

More tomorrow...

All My Bags Are Packed...

and I'm ready to go!

I've spent the day packing and cleaning, getting ready for our trip. I've gotten pretty good at this by now. I was able to get everything into two suitcases and two carry-on back packs. Add that to the two car seats we're checking, and that's not too bad.

In traveling with two little boys I have learned the following:

• The size of the child is inversely proportional to the amount of stuff you have to pack for them.
• For some reason my kids get dirtier than normal on trips, so I end up doing laundry about every other day. But that's okay because it means I don't have to pack as much clothing.
• Both children will fall asleep about ten minutes before we land, despite the fact that I will spend most of the flight hoping and praying that they will sleep through the flight. No matter what.
• Bring two of each toy, because they will both want whatever toy the other has. Josh could have a nasty used tissue and Spencer would still have a fit until he got one as well.
  
• Bring the exact same snacks for each child. See above.
• Your connecting flight will always be at the opposite end of the longest terminal in the airport. Always.

So I'm set. Wish me luck. And see you in ten days!

Self-portrait Tuesday

Okay, I have to admit that today's self-portrait was actually taken a few days ago. But that's good, because I totally had a bad hair day today; I couldn't get it to do anything right. And no one wants a self-portrait with bad hair.

Is that against the rules? Oh well, my blog, my rules. If you don't like it, go find another "Like Karen With An 'M'" blog. (Oh, that's right - there isn't one.)


I was on the floor cleaning up some mess made by one child or the other, when I saw the camera on the table and decided to take a few shots. It's a funky angle for the camera, but I kinda like it.

So, no interesting story about the portrait. But I do have an interesting story from today.

I was delivering a camera to someone I had sold it to on Craigslist. It was downtown, not in the nicest neighborhood. The home was full of dogs (3), teenagers (5!), cigarette smoke (at least three packs a day), and eBay stuff (tons of it - they have their own shop).

Anywho, the lady was typically Midwestern: friendly almost to a fault. We talked about the camera for a few minutes, and before I knew it she was telling me her whole life story. I had a few minutes to kill before I had to be at bunko*, so I didn't stop her and even asked her a few questions. Over the course of ten minutes she talked about the bad choices she had made when she was younger, how they made her life a lot harder than it needed to be, and then how her life got infinitely better once she decided to let God make the decisions. (No, she's not LDS.) All of a sudden, she was practically bearing her testimony about how God had led her to her current husband. (Number three, to be exact.)

I've been thinking about it a lot all evening. Knowing the things I know, seeing the things I have seen, feeling the things I have felt: when's the last time I bore my testimony so simply in an average conversation? When is the last time I have mentioned God or even religion in a conversation with someone I don't know. (Or know, for that matter?) Granted, I'm most definitely not as friendly with strangers as Midwesterners are. (Although I'm learning!) But perhaps I should step out of my comfort zone more often and make it a point to share the gospel with others. I'd like to think that my actions speak loudly enough for this; but I suspect actually saying the words is sometimes more effective.

Well, it was a great conversation. Even when she basically called me a hussy. Okay, I don't think she realized that's what she did; in fact it was kinda funny. She had just told me about how she and husband number three had met, and then asked how I met my husband. I told her that I met Lance when we were 14 and in high school. I had a crush on and eventually dated two of his friends. We started dating when we were 21, got married, and will be celebrating our 8th anniversary this August. She then said that he must be a saint, because she thought that most men would go crazy wondering what I had "done" with his friends when dating them. It took me a few seconds to realize what she was insinuating, and then I almost laughed while I politely corrected her. I don't think she believed me, which made it all the more amusing.

It was one of the most amusing, and insightful, conversations I have had in quite a while.

*I won the bunko prize for the second month is a row. Woo-hoo!!!! It was a toaster, which I definitely did not need, so I traded it with Michelle for some totes that she had won, and totally made her night. I mean, she REALLY wanted that toaster. I can honestly say I have never made anyone so happy with a toaster, and I have made Lance some really good toast.