Letters

Dear Visitors to my Home,

This is why every glass surface in my home is cleaned only once a month. 

I just can't keep up. 

Thank you for your discretion in ignoring the finger-, nose-, and tongue-prints.

Sincerely,

The Management

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Dear Cole,

Quit being so grouchy.  You aren't hungry, sleepy, wet, messy, teething, or deprived in any way.  You do not need to be entertained All. The. Time.  You will never be entertained All. The. Time. So get used to it.

I regret to inform you that due to this and your recent persistent habit of waking up in the middle of the night, you are no longer the World's Greatest Baby.  However, you do still retain the title of World's Cutest Baby.

Also, please stop spitting up on me.  It's gross.

Love,

Mommy (you know - that lady with the food)

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Dear Spencer,

There is no reasonable excuse for taking 30 minutes just to get dressed in the morning.  It's Driving. Me. NUTS.

Focus, Spencer. FOCUS.

Love,

Mommy (the lady who refuses to let you be late for school)