Worst Fishing Spot Ever

This morning I was at Wal-Mart with Tess and Cole.  About five minutes in Cole declares that he needs to go potty. 

Of course you need to go now, Cole, and not right before we left the house when I asked you.

Anywho, we make our way over to the restrooms at the front of the store because those were closer than the family one in the back. (No need to risk a an accident, right?)  We walk into the bathroom, me with all our coats and my purse, Tess with a hand full of fish crackers I had given her right before Cole's declaration, and Cole holding... well, himself, as little boys are wont to do.

We find the cleanest stall, pack ourselves in there, and Cole gets down to business.  At this point Tess drops a goldfish on the floor.  Now normally I am a firm believer in the 5 second rule.  (Heck, let's be honest.  This child has been known to eat food from the kitchen floor that's been there since breakfast when dinner is running a little late.) ((Why yes, I hate sweeping the kitchen floor.  Why do you ask?))  But this was a bathroom floor.  At Wal-Mart.  Five micro-seconds would be far too long.

So I swoop down and, despite Tess's major protest, I pick up the goldfish and toss it in the potty, thinking that this would kill two birds with one stone: stop Tess from eating it and entertain Cole.  (Who was still going potty.  He REALLY needed to go!)

But I was wrong.  Cole kinda freaked out about it.  "NO!!!  No fishy in there!  Oh no!  Oh no!"

This made Tess start to freak out as well.  "Mine!  Mine cracker!"

Dang.

Well, too late now. 

Cole finishes up and Tess tries to climb out from under the stall.  I turn around for half a second to stop her, and then turn back to discover that Cole has

PICKED UP THE SOGGY GOLDFISH FROM THE PEE-FILLED WAL-MART TOILET BOWL.

Erlack.

"BAAAAHHHH!!!"  I yell, probably louder than the situation warrants.  "PUT THAT BACK!!!" And I swat the goldfish back into the potty just before the child tries to

PUT THE SOGGY GOLDFISH IN HIS MOUTH.

Then I march both children over to the sinks, where I suds all of our hands and vigorously wash all of the public restroom germs off as best I can. 

Fortunately, the rest of the shopping trip was much less exciting.  And gross.