Subtitle: You're Not Really Going to See the Movie, You Know This, Right?
Spencer and Josh have been begging and begging to go see "Despicable Me 2", so when the optometrist called this morning to let me know that Josh's glasses were done (the office is right next to the theater), I knew what we were going to do today.
First thing's first: snacks. You can't see a movie without snacks. The last time we went we had lots of gift cards and coupons and points on my frequent movie goer card, so everyone got a drink, popcorn, and candy. This was not an affordable option this time. So we made a quick trip to Wal-Mart and picked up some Lunchables and candy.
But even this little errand is not so easy - I had to lay down the law about which Lunchables could be bought. Spencer loves the nachos Lunchables. But he always - always - spills them. And then freaks out about spilling them. So those were out. Cole wanted the Lunchables with the pudding cup included. Um, no dice. Not in a dark theater. And Tess wanted a Lunchables, which is ridiculous because she never eats them. But this was no time to cause a Tessie meltdown, so she got a small one, too.
We decided to do the self checkout, thinking it would have been faster. And it would have, had Josh not forgotten to give me his candy, forcing me to either 1) shoplift for the first time ever, or 2) go through a whole new transaction. We chose option 2.
We rushed down to the optometrist's office. For whatever reason, Josh decided he didn't want new glasses today. Too bad. A few threats later and we were all marching in. Cole and Tess immediately ran for the display cases full of glasses. I distracted them with the doors instead; they were going in and out, but not causing any sort of problem. Then the office ladies told them to leave the doors alone. I was irritated* enough that I considered setting them loose on the displays, but fortunately for the office Josh was already done.
We walked next door to the theater. The excitement in these children was palpable. We walked into the lobby and my children scattered all in different directions. A threat to leave with no movie got everyone back in order - except Tess, but once she saw everyone come to me she came, too.
It must be noted that my backpack was pretty packed; it was fairly obvious we were sneaking food in. But the bored teenagers working didn't give me a second glance. And I didn't feel guilty at all. If I have to spend freakin' $32 just to get us all in, there's no way I'm spending $30 more on food!
We were a little early to the show, so I let the kids run around the theater to get their wiggles out. Josh thought it was pretty fun to be up right next to the screen. It got close to show time and I started raising my hopes that we might just have the theater all to ourselves. No dice - 3 more families showed up right before it started.
I rounded up my brood and started opening and passing out all of the food. I'm pretty sure the mom behind me raised an eyebrow or two over all the food I had in my backpack - but whether in disapproval or envy, I'm not sure. (I'll assume envy. It was pretty awesome.)
We were fine for the first half of the movie, but then Tessie got the wanderlust and had to start walking up and down the stairs. I'm fine with this; she's not hurting anyone and not going to leave the theater. But Cole was not fine; he started freaking out. Enough so that I had to drag him from the theater.
Oh, the joy.
After a rough 10 minutes I got both kids calmed down. Tess and Cole wandered up and down the theater for the rest of the film, laughing at the movie and generally keeping out of trouble. (I had to shush Cole several times.)
I felt guilty until I really thought about it: we were at the earliest showing on a Tuesday morning of a children's movie that had been out for several weeks. If you really didn't want to deal with other people's kids at the theater then you should have probably chosen a different day and/or time to see it.
Getting everyone out of the theater was pretty fun, too. It was like herding cats. Drunken, sugar-dazed cats. Seriously, no one could listen to me or walk in a strait line. We got home with little fanfare, although Tess did fall asleep in the car and now refuses to take a nap. *sigh*
What I saw of the movie was really good. I would really recommend seeing it!
Just not with my kids.
*Speaking of irritated: I got home to discover a voice mail from the optometrist office. Seems they forgot the most important part of the lenses - the prism that stops him from being cross-eyed - in Josh's glasses. So they've reordered them and now we have to go back in a few days. "Sorry for the inconvenience." Yeah, sorry my kids are going to run wild through your office because of your incompetence. Sheesh.
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