Peeing Machine

Josh has become a peeing machine. (Spencer says, "Hee hee hee! Peeing machine!") ((Suddenly, bodily humor has become a hit in our home.))

It used to be that I could change Josh's diaper and let him crawl around and 'air out' for a bit. Or after a bath we would let him crawl around 'au natural' and be a 'free range' baby for a few minutes.

He loved it, and it was cute, and we were happy. But not anymore. Because now if we have his diaper off for more than a minute he pees. Everywhere.

Needless to say, this is less than desirable.

Now we're reaching a crisis point. There is a day bed in his room that I use as a changing table. I had turned away from him for all of 20 seconds to grab a diaper and some Desitin from the other side of the room. In that time he sat up and started to pee. Profusely.

It soaked through:

• 1 duvet
  
• 1 down comforter
• 1 knit blanket
• 1 top sheet
• 1 bottom sheet
• 1 mattress cover

In the immortal words of Hank Hill, "That boy ain't right."

Annoyed

Every year I put together a "Madsen Family Time Capsule": a slide show with the best photos and videos from the past year, all set to music. It's fun to watch, easier than dealing with a big photo album, and the boys absolutely adore watching it. (On any trip the Slideshow is the one movie that Spencer will always agree to watch. Probably because he's been the star of the show in the most recent years!)

I got all the photos and videos for January-November chosen, ordered, and uploaded into the program I use, only to discover that I can't do December. Why? Because the video my new camera takes isn't compatible with our current video editing software.

Curses!

(No really - there were curses in my head when I discovered this.)

Even Lance, the Sultan of All Things Computeresque (bow down, infidel!), couldn't figure out a way around it.

Dang it.

So now we're gonna just bite the bullet and buy some new video editing software. But it'll take a while to find and test just the right one, then we'll have to find it at the best price, and then we'll have to order it and have it shipped. Then (and this is the part that will really take the longest!) I'll have to learn the new program while making 2007's slideshow.

If I'm lucky, it'll be done just in time to start 2008's.

Viva La Revolucion!

A little over a week ago I started a revolution in my home: no more cold cereal for breakfast.

Oh, the horror!

I was feeling really bad about how much sugar was in the cold cereal my kids were eating. We were going through a lot of it in a week. (In my defense, however, I always did half sugar cereal/half no sugar cereal. But still.) And it just didn't seem too good for them; they were hungry again an hour later.

So I instituted a new Mommy policy: hot cooked breakfast during the week, cold cereal on the weekends. Even for Daddy. (Who I knew would be the leader of the rebellion should there be one.)
It's actually gone down better than I expected. Spencer still asks for cold cereal in the morning, but then eats what I serve. And I've tried to make it fun. (Well, as fun as a healthy breakfast can be!) We've had: oatmeal with frozen berries, Zoom with honey and almonds, Cream of Wheat with pureed bananas (the favorites so far), whole wheat French toast, and Egg McMuffins (whole wheat English muffins, eggs, and on slice deli ham).
And it's not as difficult as I thought to make a good breakfast quickly. I just get out and measure as much as I can the night before. Breakfast is usually ready in just over 5 minutes.

The results? Spencer has been sick twice and I haven't slept through the night in a week due to one child or another. Coincidence? Yes. Because I've also noticed that I feel better in the mornings and that the boys don't usually need a snack for several hours after breakfast.

So here's my question to you: what are some of your favorite breakfasts? I'm looking for variety here. (More for my sake than for my kids - they'd eat Fruit Loops every day with abandon if I let them.) They don't have to be totally healthy - heck, as Bill Cosby once explained, cake is a good breakfast food: it has milk, eggs, flour, etc. Gotta love that logic.

p.s. Dad - my Zoom supply is getting low and I can't find it here. Can you replenish my stocks the next time you send a package?

Dances with Joe Namath

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the Madsen family today:

Lady from Lance's Work: Are you better at the Wii than your daddy?
Spencer: Yeah - I crushed him!!

*Said during his bedtime prayer
Spencer: ... and thank you for my Wii... and mommy and daddy.

Spencer: I want to go to Monster Mini Golf!
Me: No. We just went.
Spencer: But I want to!
Me: Maybe we'll go again this summer, when it's really hot. Then we can cool off inside.
Spencer: But it's really hot now!
Me: No. It's just warm in the car because of the heater. It's cold outside - look at all of the snow! When it's hot there won't be any more snow.
Spencer: I know! I have an idea! We can roll down the windows and melt all the snow and then it will be hot.
Me: I don't think our heater is that strong.
Spencer: Maybe all the cars can roll down their windows.
Me: You're very smart. But we're not going to Monster Mini Golf today.

Spencer: That was a dirty green bean!
Lance: The Dirty Green Beans is a good rock band name.
(See? It's a game the whole family can play!)

Maren: What would Josh's Indian name be? "Small Throwing Bear"?
Lance: Joe Namath.

Monster Mini Golf Tournament

Spencer was up sick half of the night last night. Which means I was up half the night, too. So you'd think he woulda slept in a little, right? Wrong - he was up at 6:30 begging me to get him something to eat. And although what little sleep he got last night was probably none to good, and even though he threw up at least five times, he ran around the house like a madman today. We even fought about him not playing outside today since it was all of 1 degree.

The same thing happened on Saturday night. And on Monday night he was up several time because of nightmares. So needless to say, I'm a bit out of it at this point, having gotten only 6 hours of sleep in the past 4 days. Or something like that.

Whatever. I'm tired.

Luckily, I have some fun pictures to post. On Monday we treated the boys to a round of Monster Mini Golf. They opened up a couple of months ago in that plaza next to the Wal-Mart on 350S. Spencer's been dying to go, so he was quite excited.

What, you don't know what Monster Mini Golf is? Don't get out much, do you? (Sorry, that's the lack of sleep talking. I get mean. Just ask Lance.) Monster Mini Golf is an indoor putt-putt course. Lots of black lights and fluorescent paint. Lots of monsters and other 'scary' things. (But not scary enough to frighten my boys!) It was actually pretty fun.


Spencer did pretty well attention-span-wise considering we did 18 holes, but we did have to let him move his ball a lot and have mulligans. Josh enjoyed playing with his ball and baby golf club, and crawling around and dancing. Lance and I enjoyed watching the boys have fun. We also enjoyed the fact that it was "two for Tuesday", which meant one of us got in for free. (And since the boys were free, we only spent $7! Sweet!)

We all enjoyed the music, which you can see in this video montage. (Josh dancing always cracks me up - which is good, because that boy is always showin' his moves!)

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Oh yeah - I'm sure you're all wondering about the scores. (Okay, Lance just wants a chance to gloat!)
Spencer: 349 (or something like that) Maren: 68 Lance: 60

p.s. Okay, I could only get one picture to load. Is it me, or is Blogger having some major problemos with pictures lately? I'm bugged.

New Look

How do you like the new look of my blog? I designed it, but major kudos my my hubby, the Grand Czar of Computertopia, for helping me with the HTML. I might be making a few layout changes in the next few days. Or maybe I won't because I'm a little lazy. (BTW, if you use Internet Explorer the new graphics and such won't look nearly as good. Use the force, leave the dark side, and start using Mozilla Firefox! It's a way better browser.)

So besides the layout, I might also be changing the tagline. I like it, but I don't know... what do you think? Is it quintessential Maren? I went through several variations that I thought you might like to see. Okay, some of them are tongue-in-cheek; but some are for real. The real question is, can you tell which ones are which? :)

What'd You Call Me?

I think it's pretty safe to say that our names shape at least some of who we are. I don't think I would have made a good Olivia or Hilary. (Or Adrienne, which is what my parents thought about naming me!) Would you have been the same as an Augusta or Flavia or Rashida?

What I'm saying is, I like my name. It's uncommon and unique and stands out a bit when necessary; kind of like me.

But my name is also kind of a pain because no one ever seems to be able to pronounce it correctly when they first meet me. There's a common bond that everyone with unusual names has; ask any of them and they can probably give you the top 10 ways their name has been mispronounced. (Am I right Karlea?) Mine? Mary, Marian, Mayren, Mariah, Maureen, Maura, Marleah, Marilyn, Maya, and Maria.

Not that I'm bitter or anything. (Not with my name, at least.)

It just seems that I've had to make it one my lifelong goals to teach people to pronounce my name correctly.

Okay, maybe not goal. More like ambition. Whatever.

My point is, I've spent a lot of time explaining to others how to pronounce my name. A typical introduction goes a little something like this:

Fictional New Person: Hi! My name is (something very common and easy pronounce - like Jennifer) Jennifer.

Me: Hi! My name is Maren. Nice to meet you.

Jen: Oh, hi Mary. Nice to meet you.

Me: No, it's, it's Maren, not Mary.

Jen: Oh, sorry! Marian.

Me: M a r e n.

Jen: Marilyn?

Me: It's like Karen with an "M".

Jen: Karem?

Me (in my head): Are you kidding me? Karem?!?

Me (out loud): Uh, no. M is the first letter. M-A-R-E-N.

Jen (still not pronouncing it quite right): Oh, Maren! That's unusual, isn't it?

Me: Uh, yeah.

Sometimes it can go on for even longer. Sometimes I just let them call me the wrong name.

All this correct pronunciation makes me want to do a little math. (And why not?)

Let's suppose that I introduce myself, on average, to 200 people per year. That's sounds like a lot, but not in the ultra-friendly Midwest!

And let's suppose that each introduction, such as that above, is around 1 minute or 60 seconds long.

60 seconds multiplied by 200 = 12,000 seconds. That's 3.33 hours I spend every year just explaining my name. That's a lot of time. (That's one day at church. Or three episodes of ER. Or how long I wish Josh's naps were.)

Now let's calculate how much time I've spent doing this since I was 18 years old. That was 12 years ago. 200 multiplied by 12 = 2400. 2400 introductions multiplied by 60 seconds each = 144,000 seconds. That's 40 hours. (That's a typical work week!)

And let's go a little wild and crazy here and just guesstimate that I'll live to see 80. So from 18 to 80 is 62 years, multiplied by 200 introductions per year = 12,400. 12,400 introductions multiplied by 60 seconds each = 744,000 seconds. That's 206.67 hours or 8.6 days. (The world and all things that in them are were created in 6 days, and then there was a rest on the 7th. I'm certainly not comparing myself or my name to the creation! I'm just sayin'...)

So what's the point of all this? Why the mad tirade about pronouncing my name correctly?

Well, maybe I'll be able to regain a day or two of my life by teaching everyone how to pronounce my name correctly through my blog title.

Maybe I decided that the title of my blog should be a phrase that I use fairly often. Or 200 times a year.

Or maybe I just liked the way it sounds.