Lance and I are convinced that our children speak a different language when they're born. Spencer spoke Mandarin for quite a while, while Josh seemed to be Japanese. Cole currently speaks some ancient Eastern-Slavic blended with Norwegian. We're not sure how that came about, but there you go. (It must be his blond hair.)
Oh sure, they eventually learn English. But speaking that as a second language obviously leads to some parent/child translation problems. For example...
Bedtime
What the parent says: It's time for bed! Please put on your jammies and brush your teeth.
What Cole hears: It's time to run around like a crazy lunatic! Race race race around the race track that is the living room and kitchen!
What Spencer & Josh hear: Whine and cry and fuss! Act as if you have never heard of such atrocities as jammies and brushing teeth, even though we've been through this same routine practically every single day of your life. Oh, and whine some more. And fight. It's not bedtime unless there's a fight.
Going Out
What the parent says: Time to go! Let's all put on our coats.
What Cole hears: Time to head butt your brothers and wind them up!
What Josh hears: Time to put on my coat. But don't bother even trying to zip it - that's what mom's are for.
What Spencer hears: Whine. And cry. And whine some more. Don't bother putting your coat on until mom has just about lost all patience and sanity. And then complain about how you can't zip your coat even though you're seven years old.
Mealtime Prayers
What the parent says: Please fold your arms and close your eyes for the prayer.
What Cole hears: (50% of the time) Please fold your arms and close your eyes for the prayer. (The other 50% of the time) Sit in your high chair, stare at everyone, but stay quiet and look pretty dang cute.
What Josh hears: Pick up your plate, try tossing it around, and wonder why mom and dad freak out about that. Act picked on when they take it away. Eventually make a show at folding arms.
What Spencer hears: It's time to whine and cry and try to play with Cole. Even though you know better, act extremely put out when mom and dad get after you. Eventually fold your arms, but only after you've cried a few crocodile tears.
Computer Time
What the parent says: Okay, boys! It's time to get off of the computer! Please turn it off and come upstairs.
What Cole hears: Bang on the computer keyboard - hard - and then use the Jell-o Bones Maneuver when mom or dad tries to pick you up.
What Josh hears: Turn off the computer please! It's time for a snack. (Notice above that no snacks are ever mentioned.)
What Spencer hears: I'm pretty sure he hears that weird trumpety sound the Charlie Brown kids hear whenever an adult speaks to them. At least until the parent has reached their patience limit and is about to lose it. Then he hears "I'm making you get off of the computer because I'm mean and never ever ever want you to have any fun even though you've been on here for an hour. Bwahahaha! Why yes, I am related to the Wicked Witch of the West. Why do you ask?"
Getting in the Car
What the parent says: Okay, time to sit down and put your seat belt on.
What Cole hears: Okay, time to wiggle while I strap you in. Also, please whine and cry unless I give you your car computer toy RIGHT NOW. There's no earthly reason why you should have to wait any length of time for that.
What Josh hears: Stand right in front of your booster seat. But for heaven's sake, don't bother sitting down and buckling up until mom or dad has asked you at least four times.
What Spencer hears: Yes, you're the only child in the world who has to wear a seat belt. It's terribly unfair, but we're terribly unfair parents who like to treat you terribly unfairly. We just like to see you cry. Now sit down, put your seat belt on, and then pout and scowl for the next 15 minutes.
I can't wait for the day when our whole family speaks the same language. That'll eventually happen, right?
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Decorating
Check out the sweet little plate I won at Bunco last night:
Yes, I won it for getting the lowest score. But at least I won something. Plus I got several cute little baby girl outfits from Heidi (thanks, Heidi!), who originally got most of them from Gigi (thanks, Gigi!). And now Mystery Madsen Baby will get to wear them. I'm thinking I should make a special bunco onesie that could be passed around from bunco baby to bunco baby. Something pink, with dice... Hmmm...
Well, the plate got me in the Valentine's Day decorating mood. That, and my barren living room, which is still void of furniture and looking pretty plain now that the Christmas tree and other decorations are gone. Of course, my Valentine's decorations are pretty sparse, so the mantel holds them all.
But I like it. Cole likes it. Josh said it needed more candy. (He could be right.) Spencer couldn't be bothered, because he's recently turned into the orneriest cuss you ever did meet. Anyone want to buy a seven year old? I'm willing to bargain. Heck, this afternoon I was just about willing to pay someone else to deal with him, because I certainly didn't want to. Sheesh.
Back on topic. I feel especially clever about my jar full of ribbon bits and gold tissue paper. Does this count as crafting? (Christy, I leave that for you to judge.) I haven't crafted in forever, so I'm saying yes, yes it does count.
In the bleakness that is an Indiana winter, it's nice to have a bit of color back in the house.
Yes, I won it for getting the lowest score. But at least I won something. Plus I got several cute little baby girl outfits from Heidi (thanks, Heidi!), who originally got most of them from Gigi (thanks, Gigi!). And now Mystery Madsen Baby will get to wear them. I'm thinking I should make a special bunco onesie that could be passed around from bunco baby to bunco baby. Something pink, with dice... Hmmm...
Well, the plate got me in the Valentine's Day decorating mood. That, and my barren living room, which is still void of furniture and looking pretty plain now that the Christmas tree and other decorations are gone. Of course, my Valentine's decorations are pretty sparse, so the mantel holds them all.
But I like it. Cole likes it. Josh said it needed more candy. (He could be right.) Spencer couldn't be bothered, because he's recently turned into the orneriest cuss you ever did meet. Anyone want to buy a seven year old? I'm willing to bargain. Heck, this afternoon I was just about willing to pay someone else to deal with him, because I certainly didn't want to. Sheesh.
Back on topic. I feel especially clever about my jar full of ribbon bits and gold tissue paper. Does this count as crafting? (Christy, I leave that for you to judge.) I haven't crafted in forever, so I'm saying yes, yes it does count.
In the bleakness that is an Indiana winter, it's nice to have a bit of color back in the house.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Painting Surprise
Whenever I go to Utah with the boys Lance paints a room of the house. So last week when Lance was in Utah I decided we should paint something to surprise him.
Fortunately, my dad was in town and more than willing to paint. In fact, he took on the entire project and did a fantastic job!
The office used to be this really dark, man-caveish magenta. It is now a nice greyish-blue which I love. Much lighter, much friendlier, much better. Lance claims it's a girly color, but that's too bad. (I don't think he really cares all that much; he just had to complain about something since he missed all the painting fun.)
I only have this one picture showing before and after. But I think you can tell it's a much needed improvement.
Now we just need to get some shelves up on the wall so we can organize and we'll be all set. Hooray! Between this room and the pictures I'm finally getting up on the wall this house is finally starting to feel like home.
Fortunately, my dad was in town and more than willing to paint. In fact, he took on the entire project and did a fantastic job!
The office used to be this really dark, man-caveish magenta. It is now a nice greyish-blue which I love. Much lighter, much friendlier, much better. Lance claims it's a girly color, but that's too bad. (I don't think he really cares all that much; he just had to complain about something since he missed all the painting fun.)
I only have this one picture showing before and after. But I think you can tell it's a much needed improvement.
Now we just need to get some shelves up on the wall so we can organize and we'll be all set. Hooray! Between this room and the pictures I'm finally getting up on the wall this house is finally starting to feel like home.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
All In Ten Minutes
This morning was the usual busy chaos of trying to get three little boys ready for church all by myself. We have a pretty good system down, but Cole decided to kick things up a notch. Within the space of 10 minutes the child had:
- Thrown cereal all over the floor
- Stepped on and crushed the cereal
- Knocked over the humidifier in my room, causing water to go everywhere
- Played in the water, getting himself and his freshly-put-on church clothes wet
- Wiped toothpaste all over a wall
- Flushed a toilet 4 times in a row
- Thrown everything on my nightstand off of my nightstand - including my Kindle (grrrr...)
- I went to clean up the nightstand mess, only to not see my glasses on the floor and stepped on them (hopefully I can get the lens popped back in)
Friday, January 14, 2011
A GIANT Thank You
 |
| Cole was less than thrilled about taking a picture. |
Thanks so much, Dad, for coming out this week. Thank you for:
- shoveling and snow blowing the snow
- aking out the garbage
- basically doing all the work for super-secret project (which shall be revealed on Sunday)
- dealing with really whiny grandchildren
- buying lunch
- buying dinner
- playing Wii
- chasing Cole down when I couldn't
- reading bedtime stories every night
Self-portrait Day: Week 28
Here we are. Week 28.
This evening my dad jokingly asked if my stomach could get much bigger. Sadly, I know that it can. Much bigger. Oy.
Let's see, 28 weeks down. That's four more months to go. Or rather, 12 weeks. Or 84 days. Or only 6 more self-portraits like this. Yikes, I'd better start getting ready for this baby.
This evening my dad jokingly asked if my stomach could get much bigger. Sadly, I know that it can. Much bigger. Oy.
Let's see, 28 weeks down. That's four more months to go. Or rather, 12 weeks. Or 84 days. Or only 6 more self-portraits like this. Yikes, I'd better start getting ready for this baby.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Absolute Math, Coconuts, Droopy Drawers, and Large Carnivores
Apparently it's hard, even when you're seven years old (especially you're seven years old), to admit that your mother just might know something a little more than you do about certain things.
Like how to do first grade math word problems. And the fact that 5+4 most certainly does NOT equal 12, no matter how much you want it to so that you can go downstairs and play on Grandpa's iPad.
This resulted in a 20 minute tantrum over math homework today. About 10 minutes in I finally told him that if he wanted to get it wrong, that was fine, I was done arguing.
Apparently it's hard, even when you're seven years old and really want to play on Grandpa's iPad, to leave an incorrect answer on your math homework. Even if you won't ever admit in a million years that it's wrong. Not that you'll fix it right then. No, first you have to cry and whine for another 10 minutes and then fix the math problem and then give your mother the cold shoulder and the evil eye as you put all your schoolwork away.
Sometimes it's really hard to be the mother of a seven year old.
***********
This week I've been experimenting with Alton Brown recipes. I love Alton Brown and Good Eats. They are most awesome.
Tonight I decided to make his Coconut Shrimp with Peanut Sauce. I even bought a real coconut! (Tres exciting.) My dad offered to open it for me.
But once we opened it we realized it had gone bad. (Tres disappointing.)
Fortunately, I've been having pregnancy brain lately and keep buying shredded coconut at the store. (Why? I keep thinking we've run out. Not that we use it a lot, but whatever.) I have three bags of it in the freezer. When I was pregnant with Cole I did the same thing with cornstarch. With Josh it was canned tomatoes. I don't remember what it was with Spencer, but I'm sure I did it.
Anywho, we still had some coconut and the shrimp still turned out to be pretty darn good eats.
************
I have decided there's no such thing as maternity pants that actually stay up. Well, maternity pants that are okay to wear out of the house. I have some pajamas and yoga pants that actually stay up, but other to Wal-Mart I'm not wearing them in public.
We have computers the size of a deck of cards, we've walked on the moon, and awesome shows like Big Band Theory. And yet no one has invented maternity pants that I don't have to hike up every time I move. Something's wrong here.
************
Cole decided it would be a good idea to pour his juice into the hood of my coat today while shopping at Target. (My coat was on the side of the cart.) I was not pleased with the punk.
However, I was pleased with scoring a rather large Dinosaur Train T-Rex toy for only $8.50 in the clearance aisle. I think he will make his appearance around the time this baby girl does.
Also, ask Josh about carnivores, herbivores, and omnivores. You'll be in for a very interesting and cute conversation.
Like how to do first grade math word problems. And the fact that 5+4 most certainly does NOT equal 12, no matter how much you want it to so that you can go downstairs and play on Grandpa's iPad.
This resulted in a 20 minute tantrum over math homework today. About 10 minutes in I finally told him that if he wanted to get it wrong, that was fine, I was done arguing.
Apparently it's hard, even when you're seven years old and really want to play on Grandpa's iPad, to leave an incorrect answer on your math homework. Even if you won't ever admit in a million years that it's wrong. Not that you'll fix it right then. No, first you have to cry and whine for another 10 minutes and then fix the math problem and then give your mother the cold shoulder and the evil eye as you put all your schoolwork away.
Sometimes it's really hard to be the mother of a seven year old.
***********
This week I've been experimenting with Alton Brown recipes. I love Alton Brown and Good Eats. They are most awesome.
Tonight I decided to make his Coconut Shrimp with Peanut Sauce. I even bought a real coconut! (Tres exciting.) My dad offered to open it for me.
But once we opened it we realized it had gone bad. (Tres disappointing.)
Fortunately, I've been having pregnancy brain lately and keep buying shredded coconut at the store. (Why? I keep thinking we've run out. Not that we use it a lot, but whatever.) I have three bags of it in the freezer. When I was pregnant with Cole I did the same thing with cornstarch. With Josh it was canned tomatoes. I don't remember what it was with Spencer, but I'm sure I did it.
Anywho, we still had some coconut and the shrimp still turned out to be pretty darn good eats.
************
I have decided there's no such thing as maternity pants that actually stay up. Well, maternity pants that are okay to wear out of the house. I have some pajamas and yoga pants that actually stay up, but other to Wal-Mart I'm not wearing them in public.
We have computers the size of a deck of cards, we've walked on the moon, and awesome shows like Big Band Theory. And yet no one has invented maternity pants that I don't have to hike up every time I move. Something's wrong here.
************
Cole decided it would be a good idea to pour his juice into the hood of my coat today while shopping at Target. (My coat was on the side of the cart.) I was not pleased with the punk.
However, I was pleased with scoring a rather large Dinosaur Train T-Rex toy for only $8.50 in the clearance aisle. I think he will make his appearance around the time this baby girl does.
Also, ask Josh about carnivores, herbivores, and omnivores. You'll be in for a very interesting and cute conversation.
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