Beware the Polar Vortex!

Doesn't 'polar vortex' sound like the name of a Twilight Zone episode?  I would totally watch that.

I know I keep harping on the weather around here, but it can't be helped.  Nothin' like a good dose of nasty weather to make you remember how little control we have over outside forces in our lives.  It's a bit nerve-wracking and humbling. 

The problem is that we got a bunch of really wet snow in a short amount of time and then it was sooooo dang cold.  The roads couldn't be properly cleared and the salt/sand did nothing because of the cold.  So there's still a good inch of packed snow/ice on the roads, plus a ton of snow plowed up on the side of the roads.  Nasty combination, especially for big vehicles like school busses.

The kids were supposed to go back to school on Tuesday; it is now Thursday.  Part of the problem is the roads, but I also think several of the buildings in our school district have had issues with pipes bursting and other storm damage. (This is pure rumor, so who knows?)  Spencer's in heaven over the extended break, but Josh is itching to get back.

I actually like it when the kids are on break from school; it's nice to not have to deal with the morning routine, homework, and all that goes along with the school year.  But it's also really nice to get back into some semblance of a schedule, and school always does that for me.

This morning we played 'school'.  Josh LOVED it; Spencer tolerated it; Tess and Cole didn't really know what was going on.  We had a geography lesson with my map wall, a spelling test, art, and gym.  The older kids got a huge kick over how the younger kids acted.  Tess was extremely naughty and ate and threw crayons at everyone.  She got a 'purple' behavior code, which I guess is awful.  (Compared to red, which is the best.  It doesn't make any sense to me, either.)

Today we ventured out of the house for the first time in a full week.  Seriously - the last time we were out of the house was that fateful trip to Sam's Club last Thursday.  (Oy.)  The roads were not the best, but not as awful as I had heard they were earlier.  We hit the bank, Wal-Mart, and McDonald's. I thought the kids would act like wild animals released from their cages, but perhaps it's been so long since they've been out they forgot how to be naughty. Haha.

Okay, totally random sidenote: there's a random Golden Retriever tromping around in my back yard.  I've never seen him before, but he has tags on and is having a grand old time.  Guess we're not the only ones who feel like they've escaped today!

I'm not sure what the point of this post is, other than it's been cold and we've been stuck at home, and even though we were without water for a good 36 hours (dang water heater), life hasn't been too bad.  As ominous as 'polar vortex' sounds, it would be a pretty boring Twilight Zone episode.

The Big Chill

So the snow came and then the cold set in.

And by cold I mean freeze-the-enamel-off-your-teeth-while-your-mouth-is-closed COLD.

When I woke up yesterday morning it was -12 degrees, with a windchill factor of -40. Oh Indiana - what happened?  I thought we were friends.  Did I go outside at all?  You betcha - for about 5 seconds.  I just wanted to see what -40 temps felt like.  It felt cold. Take-your-breath-away cold.

The only good thing about the weather was that Lance got to stay home again.  The roads were so icy and the windchill was so bad that pretty much everything around town was closed.  I don't think I saw or heard a single car all day.

The bad part?  All that snow out there and it being too cold to play in it.  Normally I'll let the kids play outside whenever, figuring that they'll come in when they get too cold.  But temps like this are dangerous.  Plus, I didn't want to go through all the effort of getting them dressed just to proved to them how dang cold it was outside.  It was pretty rough on Cole and Josh, who bugged me all day about how bored they were.

But on the whole, it was a rather pleasant day.  In the late afternoon the lights started to flicker every once in a while. In the evening the flickers would last several seconds, which was a bit nerve-wracking.  No power in the spring, summer, or fall is and inconvenience.  No power in the winter means no heat, which makes things a bit tricky with little kids.  Especially when the roads are so bad you can't go anywhere to get warmer.  I had a whole action plan in my head (all of us sleeping in the basement), but fortunately we didn't have to use it.

This morning Lance had to go back to work.  Even though the kids didn't have school today because it's still so freakin' cold I woke up feeling like we could kind of start getting back to normal post-Christmas-break life. I had them do their chores and then I started deep cleaning the kitchen - only to be stopped because the internet wasn't working.  THE HORROR!!  I had some very sad little computer game playing boys on my hands.

So I called Comcast and pretended to be Lance because the account is in his name and they're pretty persnickety about who they talk to.  Forty-five minutes later and the internet was finally up and running.  Sheesh.

I got back to work on the kitchen, only to realize that we didn't have any hot water.  What the @#$@!!!  Our water heater is only 2 years old - what could have happened?! So back down to the utility closet I went to inspect the water heater.  Our water heater is cool because it'll tell you what's wrong.  (To a point, I guess.)  And it told me that the vent on the roof was blocked.

Dang.

So I called the water heater company just to see if this is really a Thing and apparently it's fairly common and there's not much we can do other than risk life and limb by climbing the roof and unblocking the vent.  Since there is a lovely and rather slick slab off ice on the roof I don't see that happening any time soon.  Temps are supposed to get above freezing by Friday, so we might have a long wait.  Sheesh again.

Life could be worse - I'd much rather be without hot water than without electricity.  But still, I can't help but feel a little picked on.  Guess I'll have a little pity party as I heat water on the stove so I can wash the dishes by hand. (The Horror!)

Just in case you're curious, here's a few pictures of the frozen tundra that is our backyard.  I've seen higher snow (there's probably about a foot), but the drifts and the waves created by the wind are pretty impressive.  (Hard to see in pictures, though.)  True story: I changed the below photo to black and white and couldn't tell much of a difference.  It's like living in an Ansel Adams photo.

Blizzard Projects

In case you're living under a rock (or somewhere other than the Midwest or Northeast), we are having one doozy of a storm today.  Not only are we expected to get 10-12" of snow over the next few hours, but tomorrow's gonna be cold.  And by cold I mean FREEZING.  As in negative numbers as the high.  And the weatherman said that some parts of Central Indiana (where I live) could experience wind chills of up to -45 degrees.

NEGATIVE FORTY-FIVE DEGREES.

Life in the Midwest is nothing if not exciting. At least weather-wise.

Anywho, since we knew the storm was coming and because didn't have any other plans, we got everything ready by Friday and then hunkered down for the weekend.  I thought about deep cleaning the house or getting some home improvement projects done.  But when it came down to it, I really didn't want to tackle any of that.  Instead, I decided to finish some of my 'Millennial Projects'.

My mom coined the phrase 'Millennial Projects'.  (At least for me - I've never heard the term used elsewhere.)  Millennial Projects are those projects that my mom planned to get done during the Millennium because that's when she would finally have the time. (haha)  They're those projects you would like to get done but aren't essential to everyday life and so often get pushed aside for those things that are.  They live in your closet or on your desk, for months and years, waiting for you to get around to finishing them. (Often they're crafty RS projects that you started at some activity but never finished.  Dang.)

Well, it's not the Millennium, but I did have a whole weekend with no place to go and a husband to help entertain the kids, so I decided it was time to knock out a few of my own projects.

Unfortunately, none of my projects are in places that are easily photographed, so bear with me on the crummy photos and know that they do look better in real life.

First, I finally finished a dang valance for the kitchen.  I had been waiting to finish this for years.  First, it took me forever to find the right fabric.  Then I did find the right fabric, bought it, and then got home only to realize I didn't buy the right length.  #$%#^!!!  Then I went back to the store and they were all out, so I told myself, sure, I could piece together a valence with the material I had.  But then that sounded scary, and so the fabric sat on my desk for a good 9+ months.

Yesterday I finally conquered my fear and made the dang valance.

Even though I measured a million times, it's a few inches shorter width-wise than I had wanted, but oh well.  There comes a point, right?  And now the dang thing's done and hung and not going anywhere until I redecorate my kitchen, which won't be for years and years.

Today, since church was canceled, I decided to work on a little family history.  I'd had some shadow boxes from IKEA for years.  A few months ago I finally started filling them with heirlooms while I was at craft group.  But this morning I decided to just plow through and get them done, because otherwise I would never finish them and Tess would have to get a new shadowbox to fill with my odds and ends.  Sheesh.

I hung them on our stairwell landing by the family tree.  (Another project that could have been Millennial, but I forced myself to finish it.)

It's really hard to get pictures of things behind glass.  You'll have to come see them for yourself.

This is hand-tatted lace from my paternal Great-grandmother Merrill, and a hand-typed note explaining it from my Grandma Roper.

My maternal grandmother's watch and a pretty beaded clutch that I *think* she used when she was crowned homecoming queen at USU in 1948.

(L-R) My mother's Laurel necklace, a charm bracelet she had in middle school, her high school ring, an institute bracelet with the 13 Articles of Faith, her watch, and her YW medallion.

 My paternal Great-grandmother Burgoyne's riding gloves, a ring, and a linen doily from her trousseau.

It feels good to get these projects done.

Now off to another project - according to Josh, homemade cinnamon rolls are a mandatory part of any blizzard.  Smart boy.

Tess's Personal Pancake Jamboree

You know what's perfect on a blizzardy Sunday morning?  (Late in the morning, of course, because church has been canceled.)

A big ol' stack of pancakes!

And what do you do when you have a little girl who wakes up TWO hours (!!) later than normal and is starving to pieces?

You give her a big ol' stack of pancakes!

And what does that little girl do?  She screams and yells that she's dying of hunger and that these are "Not enough pancakes!!!"

She wants "All the pancakes". As in, the ones her brothers have been eating as well.  And Mommy's.  And Daddy's.

And what do you do then?

You take the giant stack of pancakes away.

And then you give her two pancakes, with lots of syrup and cut into little girl-sized pieces. And she gobbles them both down.  And all is right with the world.

Cee's Club

Tess is a bit obsessed with Sam's Club.  (Or, as she pronounces it, 'Cee's Club'.)  She loves going there for lunch, and she always orders the same thing: a hot dog and a drink.  She also knows everyone else's orders by heart.  (Cole always gets a pretzel, and Mommy and Daddy always get pizza.)

Since we're nearing the end of our winter break and a big ol' storm and Arctic front are coming in this weekend, I figured today would be a good day to get out of the house.  And where better to go than Sam's Club?

So I schlepped all the kids down there and met Lance for lunch.  Of course, nothing is simple with these children of mine; at least one of them has to be a punk no matter what we are doing. Lately, Josh has been the chosen punk for most things, and today was no exception.  Even though we had been talking about this lunch since the night before, and even though there's only a handful of items on the menu, the child could not make up his mind for what to order.  He whined and cried, but refused to give me an answer.  Since there was a long line behind us I ordered a hot dog for him.

Big mistake.

Even though he refused to tell me what he wanted, and even though I specifically asked him if he wanted a pretzel and he specifically told me "NO", he freaked out once he realized I had gotten him a hot dog.

THE HORROR!!!

So life was miserable for Josh, and, by extension, me.

Tess, on the other hand, was in heaven.

Cole was, too.  He loves Sam's Club almost as much as Tess does.  (He and I used to have almost weekly dates there.)

Lance and Spencer were pretty happy as well, mainly because the didn't have to sit at the same table as Josh.

This was the only picture I was able to get of Josh.  He was pretty unbearable for most of lunch. He finally shared some of his hot dog for some of Cole's pretzel, but he still complained and complained.  I think part of the problem is that he has a REALLY loose tooth that's bothering him.  He won't let us take it out but he won't wiggle it out either, even though you can see the adult tooth coming in.  Gross.

The rest of the adventure was pretty much up and down.  Herding four children around Sam's Club is a job and a half.  But they loved getting the free samples - even a full juice box this time!  We finally finished our shopping with a full cart, only for me to realize that I had lost my card.  #$%#&#$%!!!!  No way was I leaving all the stuff in the cart, so off to Member Services we went.  Of course there was a 10 minute line there, but they had my card, so all was mostly forgiven.

By the time we got to the checkout we were at crisis mode.  Cole and Tess were tired and Spencer and Josh could not stop bickering.  It all came to a head when Cole decided to head-butt Tess. As she screeched loud enough to wake the dead I wrangled him out of the cart and threatened his little life under my breath.  Spencer and Josh started boxing.  I threatened their existence as well.

Tess, whose pride was more injured than her head, screamed the entire way out.  And for some reason Spencer could NOT leave the girl alone.  Even though he was trying to help her, everything he said just made things worse.  After asking him several times to leave her alone I finally lost it and yelled something along the lines of "FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND GOOD, JUST LEAVE THE CHILD ALONE AND GET IN THE CAR!!!!"

To his credit he did. For about 90 seconds.

I could tell that those around us in the parking lot were highly entertained.

As we drove home I quietly swore I would never take all four to Sam's Club again.

Perhaps next time it will just have to be a Mommy-Daughter date.

Why I Hate the Snow

I hate the snow.

Not really the snow itself, so much.  I mean, snowblowing and shoveling isn't loads of fun, but it's not the worst, either.  I think the snow is pretty at first, but I'm not a big fan when it sticks around forever and gets all gross.

No, the reason I hate the snow is because then I have to deal with getting my kids dressed for it.

This morning was a fairly typical episode.  Everyone decided they wanted to go play in the snow. This meant I had to drop whatever I was doing because Tess and Cole can't get all their gear on themselves and there's NO WAY IN HE#$%##!! that they'd wait while Spencer and Josh got ready.

Fights broke out over boots, pants, gloves, and hats.  The prevailing logic seemed to be that if you wore those boots/pants/whatever once, they were yours forever, nevermind the fact that you haven't fit them in over a year.  NO ONE else was allowed to even look at them.

Discussion broke out over why I am not willing to buy everyone brand new snow gear every season.  Hand-me-downs are perfectly reasonable for items only worn a handful of times a year.

We have this conversation Every Time It Snows.

Getting Cole and Tess geared up takes a good 15 minutes because they don't believe in holding still or, heaven forbid, actually helping to get themselves dressed.

I had gotten Tess's pants and boots on when she ran away.  So I got to work on Cole, figuring she'd come back eventually.  A few minutes later I heard her and Spencer walk out the door.

By the time I ran to the back porch Tess was already face down in the snow, apparently having fallen down the steps.  Spencer just stood over her saying things like "It's okay, it's just snow!"  Of course he had his coat and gloves on and wasn't in the snow, so Tess did not agree as she flailed around and hollered.

I, of course (of course!) had wet hair and no shoes or socks on. So I hollered over Tess and told Spencer if he had any sense of self-preservation he'd pick that child up and get her back on the porch before I came back with her coat and gloves.

He did.

But not without much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.

We brushed Tess off, coated her up, and finally everyone was outside.  I started some housework.

Not FIVE MINUTES LATER Cole came back in, complaining about the cold and not wanting to play anymore.

"Are you sure you want to come in?"
"Yeeessssss!"
"Are you sure?  Sure sure?  Because once you come in you can't go back out."
"Yeeessssss!"

So we get him all undressed.  As soon as he's done, Josh comes tromping through my kitchen, getting snow everywhere, even though I've yelled at him told him a hundred times not to do so.

"Someone'd better be bleeding.  Or dead."
"Well, Spencer's being mean and he won't play right and..."
"You came in here to tattle?!?!"
*Evil eye given*
Josh shrinks back a little in fear, and quickly decides to head back out.

I get back to my housework.

Cole starts complaining about wanting to play outside.  I give him the evil eye, but he is apparently immune to it.  I tell him if he really wants to go outside he will have to put all of his gear on himself.  He starts whining and crying.

Five minutes later Tess decides to come in.  I help her undress.

Cole continues to whine.

Tess and Cole start jumping on my good couch and I get after them for it.  They stop.  I leave the room and 3.5 seconds later I hear a loud thump and the wail of a little girl.  She has obviously fallen off of the couch mid-bounce.  I comfort her while Cole whines about being inside.  I banish them both to the basement, turning a movie on for them to keep them out of my hair for at least a few minutes.

Spencer comes in, claiming it's too cold and no one else is outside to play with.   Josh eventually comes inside as well, also complaining, and getting snow all over the place again.

Thirty minutes ago my house was clean; all picked up and vacuumed and neat.  Now there are coats, snowpants, dripping boots, and damp gloves and hats strewn about as if a snow gear bomb was set off.

THIS is why I hate the snow.

New Year's Eve Festivities... And Then Some

This year we started our New Year's Eve festivities with an early matinee, courtesy of Santa and the gift cards he put in all of our stockings.  We went to see Frozen, and boy were those kiddos of mine excited!  (We haven't been out of the house as much as usual - cabin fever!)  They were even more excited because everyone got popcorn and a soda, a very rare treat!  (Again, thank you Mr. Claus.)

The movie was pretty good.  I only missed a few parts because I had to deal with Tess.  She ended up on my lap for a good half of the movie, which doesn't sound that bad, but by "on my lap" I mean climbing around on me, sitting on my lap, falling off of my lap, and squirming to no end.  At the very end when the lights came on I was a bit nervous to find Tess on my lap holding a nearly full cup of soda - with no lid on it.

My movie experience could have had a very soggy ending, but the movie gods were smiling on me that day and there was nary a spill.

That evening we had our friends the Hartwells and the Wallins over for a grilled cheese jamboree.  We haven't had a grilled cheese jamboree in a long time, which is sad because they are so very delicious.

I was too busy stuffing my face and chatting with my friends to get very many pictures.  That's the sign of a good party, right?  (Or the sign of a grilled cheese sandwich-stuffed belly.  One of the two.)

The kids sat on our giant bean bag and played arcade games.  That's Tess's friend, Millie.  She's a kick in the pants.

Mr. Cole.  I had his dinner ready an hour before he was willing to get off of the arcade games.  And then he ate and started playing with Lance's phone.  Not the most social of children.

Then the extreme opposite, Spencer, who is the most social of children.  He's at that age where he wants to be a part of any and all conversations, even if they're a bit over his head.  In the chair is Jon, who was Spencer's primary teacher for THREE YEARS.  The man deserves a medal. (Or at least a good 'way-to-go' high five.)

Here's Deidra and Kanien.  The dang picture is fuzzy, but I'm putting it up anyway because it's the only photographic proof I have that they were there!  Yes, Spencer's party decorations are still up, don't judge.  Oh, and that empty liter bottle on the table reminds me that Jon brought his carbonator and we had all sorts of yummy carbonated juices.  Seriously, it was sooo cool!  I'm pretty sure our family needs to invest in one.  (This wasn't one of those wimpy 12psi Sodastreams - this was an industrial 42psi carbonator of awesomeness!)

And here's miss Tess.  She made it to our 8:30pm 'midnight' countdown (complete with confetti poppers), but didn't last much beyond that.  That girl was tired.  The lack of any sort of schedule has kinda worn her out the last few weeks.

I would have been fine if our festivities had ended after our guests left for home.  Unfortunately, between midnight and 1am both Lance and I suffered from a nasty bout of what we think must have been food poisoning.  It was Not. Fun.  I'm pretty sure it was from the soda and popcorn bucket we shared at the movie, so I guess the movie gods weren't really on my side after all.  (I would have preferred the spilled soda in my lap, if that tells you anything.)

So not exactly the most lovely way to ring in the new year.  But that's okay; 2013 was a pretty great year by all accounts, and I'm optimistic that 2014 will be just as good.  (No more food poisoning would be nice, though.)