Cole's Surgery - A Time Table

6:00am - I wake up and get ready, trying not to wake anyone else in the house.  (I succeed.)

6:35am - I wake Cole up, change his diaper, put his clothes on, and marvel at how wiggly a child can be even when woken up from a dead sleep.  (He's usually awake by then, but for whatever reason he stayed up really late last night.)

6:40am - We're on the road.  Cole whines a bit because he wants his morning milk, but is quickly distracted with his own set of keys.  The child is obsessed with keys.  (Or, as Spencer says, 'incest' with keys.  Ha!)

6:55am - We walk into the Unity Surgical Center.  Cole tries to wiggle out of my arms and nearly succeeds in cracking his head on the pavement.  He thanks me with a big bite to the shoulder.

7:00am - I sign a million forms and check Cole in.  Cole tries to eat my pen, escape out the exit, flirt with the clerk, and bite me - all at the same time.

7:05-7:40am - We wait in the waiting room.  I wonder why we were told to get here so early while Cole crawls around the room, destroying magazines and newspapers, flirting with old ladies, and screeching happy/hungry Cole screeches.

7:40am - We're taken back to a room where a nurse takes Cole's blood pressure and puts a heart monitor on his toe.  He likes neither and lets us know.  She distracts him with a big box full of cheapo toys.  He chooses a fairy princess wand (because it sparkles) and an army guy (because the bag it's in in loud).

7:50am - I talk to the anesthesiologist.  Cole bites me.  I also talk to Dr. Gorup.  Surprisingly, no bites.

7:52am - I hug Cole good-bye.  He bites me.  I happily hand him to the nurses with a warning.  He waves bye-bye and lunges for the nurse's neck.  Fortunately, she's no rookie and is able to dodge his razor sharp chompers.

7:53am - I sit down in the waiting room.  I check my email.  I look at some house listings. (Oh, more to come on that.  WAY more.  But not now.  Because I'm not so keen about giving out all my info online, you know?  Real estate seems a fickle business, best not discussed in detail in such a public forum.  But trust me.  Stories are to come.)  I post something on Facebook.  I try to ignore the loud and somewhat intrusive lady on the other side of the room.  

8:14am - As I contemplate whether or not the loud lady is a little drunk or just merely obnoxious, I spot Dr. Gorup coming toward me.  

8:14:30am - Dr. Gorup is not smiling.  I mentally freak out with the following thoughts: "There's no way he can be done by now.  Why is he out here so quickly?  OH NO!!  Something is wrong with Cole!  Did he have a reaction to the anesthetic?  Is he hurt?  Is he in serious trouble?  Is he not waking up?  Did he aspirate something? Are they trying to resuscitate him?  Did he bite someone and now they won't do the surgery?!? "

8:14:45am - Dr. Gorup explains that the surgery went just fine.  I wonder if I should let Dr. Gorup know that he really needs to work on his coming-out-of-surgery-on-my-baby bedside manner.  He starts talking about Cole's ears, but I don't really listen because all of a sudden and loud and rather angry wail, which I recognize immediately, can be heard from the recovery area.

8:16am - I get back to Cole, who is sobbing in a nurse's arms.  I take him from her, but this doesn't make him any happier.  His head lolls around because he's still a bit out of it.

8:17am - Still crying.  But no biting!

8:18am - I give him a sippy cup of milk and all is forgiven.

8:20am - Still happy with the sippy cup.  He even ignores the blood pressure cuff and heart monitor stuck to him while I enjoy a rare non-wiggly snuggle with him.

8:30am - We are released from the center and make our way back to the car.  Cole refuses to let go of the sippy cup, even if only to strap him into his car seat.  You'd think I routinely starve him or something, with all the fuss he makes about it.

8:45am - We make it home.  I get Cole out of the car and discover a blanket tent in my living room, two little boys still in their underpants and/or pajamas, and daddy chillin' on the love seat.

8:45-9:00am - Cole plays with his brothers, but acts a little out of it.  Sleepy, mostly, but also a bit clingy.

9:00am - I give Cole a snack.  He refuses because he wants to be held while eating.  I tell him "No way" not because I'm mean but because I don't want to have to take the inevitable shower that I would need if I held him while he was eating Teddy Grahams and grapes.  I wonder how long he's gonna be weird.

9:03am - Cole gives in and snarfs down the grapes and Teddy Grahams.

9:30am - I put Cole down for a nap.  He bites me on the shoulder as I do so. It's then that I know he's all back to normal.