While Lance is Away, Cole Will Play

Lance left yesterday for a romp around Florida.  Lance is a punk.  So I am left to hold down the fort.  And by hold down the fort I mean stop Cole from destroying the house bit by bit.

The fun started yesterday with Cole and his potty training.  We're good as far as peeing is concerned; but poops?  Let's just say I should have an honorary degree in scatology by now. 

The afternoon wore on and I could tell Cole was sick.  Which meant he was a super grouch.  Which meant he would NOT LEAVE TESS IN PEACE FOR ONE BLESSED MINUTE. 

I thought taking the kids to Chic-Fil-A might help the situation.

It didn't.

We got home and I put Cole in the shower, thinking this would keep him out of my hair for a bit.

It did.  But at the expense of him pooping in the tub.  Oy.

In his defense he was pretty upset about this as well.  At least I could tell it wasn't done in retaliation.

I finally got everything cleaned up when there was a mysterious knock at the door.

It was my dad.

Surprise!  Joy!

My dad looked at me like I was crazy when I asked him if he had taken an earlier flight.  Apparently I was crazy.  Even though I had talked to him a few days ago about his schedule, I totally thought he was coming today (Tuesday).

No matter.  Things calmed down with grandpa around.  He helped me put the kids to bed and then we enjoyed a good chat before going to bed ourselves.

But sleep was not to be.  Josh woke me up twice about nightmares, Cole woke up crying about something or other, and then Tess woke up crying about who knows what a bit later.  Of course each time I was woken up it was right after I had just galen back asleep.  I mean, no way they could have all needed me at one time.  Too easy.

I let Cole sleep in this morning.  When he finally did get up he was VERY upset about two things: 1) Grandpa had already left for his conference at Purdue, and 2) he had wet the bed.  A lot. (He's never done that before.)

It's been a long day.  Lots of whining and crying and fighting with Tess.  He did go potty at Wal-Mart, so I'll give him that.  (Something even I'll only do under dire circumstances.)  Ans he suggested going to the car wash,.which was actually a really good idea.  But the car wash TERRIFIED Tess.  Again.  And part of me just had to wonder if that was part of Cole's master plan...

But the most fun came when we came home and started to bring in the groceries.  As a treat I let Cole and Tess stay in the car and climb on the seats and stuff.  (For some reason they love this.)  I was down in the basement putting some food away when Cole thought he would "help" by closing the garage door.  While the back of the van was still open. 

In my defense, I didn't realize he could reach that button in the garage yet.  (He and Tess weren't in the front seat of the van for this type of reason.)

Anyways, the van door was stuck in such a way that I knew I couldn't just open the garage door without really messing up the van door.  There was a metal bar that the van for was on and I knew if I did anything it would scratch up the door. (Even more, that is.)  So I folded a towel and put that between the bar and the van door and then inched the can forward just a bit.

I was then able to close the van door without destroying it, which I'm sure was Cole's master plan, but having the garage door come down on it on the first place dinged it up pretty good.

He then threw all of his lunch on the floor.  Spilled his milk all over him.  And broke the Roku remote.

And now I have spent the better part of the afternoon keeping Cole out of napping Tess's room, typing this on my phone, and trying to convince him that pooping in the potty is fun.  I am failing at but one of these. 

All of this begs the following questions: 1) how cathartic is writing for me that I'm willing to do it on a smart phone, 2) why the heck am I not the one in Florida, and 3) what does Cole have in store for me for the rest of the week?