New Baby Questions and Answers

Since the whole baby announcement I've been getting a lot of the same questions from different people, so I thought I'd save myself some time and put it all out here and now.  (In all honesty, I've been asked almost all of these questions - seriously!  There's something about having a baby that makes people forget what is their business and what isn't.  Fortunately, most of those questions have been asked by people I don't know that well, so I've easily been able to tell them to MYOB.  Politely, of course.)  ((So why am I answering them here and now?  So I don't have to keep politely telling people to MYOB.  Also, because I know you're curious.  You're welcome.))

Question: So, tryin' for a girl this time, huh?
Answer: Nope.  We were trying for a puppy.  Imagine our surprise!

Question: Wait... what?
Answer: NO.  We were not just "tryin' for a girl".  If I kept having babies until I had a girl I'd end up with 16 boys, a very bad migraine, and stretch marks that would scare The Blob.  Look, Lance and I have just always known we were supposed to have four kids.  So we're having one more.

Question: But you want a girl this time, right?
Answer: Look, I wouldn't mind if we had a little girl.  It'd be pretty exciting!  But if we have another little boy I certainly won't be disappointed.  I mean, look at our most recent little boy -

- see anything to be disappointed in that extreme cuteness?  I didn't think so.

Question: You're having this baby a lot closer together than your other kids.
Answer: Yep.

Question: Why?  Was this baby a 'surprise'?
Answer: Nope.  We planned to have this baby.  Being pregnant with Cole made me really feel my age.  I decided the sooner the better for my poor beat up body for this pregnancy.  Besides, I likes me a good challenge.

Question: Was this a cruise baby?!?  (Hee-hee!)
Answer:  You tell me - our cruise was nearly five months ago.  I'm just shy of 12 weeks pregnant.  You do the math. 

Question: No need to be rude.
Answer: Well, it's fairly apparent that you have not been keeping close enough tabs on my life through my blog, that's all...

Question: Are you going to find out the gender this time?
Answer: To be honest, before we moved and were thinking about having another baby I was waffling on this issue.  I thought it might be really fun to have it be a surprise this time.  But then we moved.  And the baby's future room is ferociously pink.  So we MUST find out if it's a boy or a girl, just so we know what to do with that room!  Plus, I'm impatient and want to know.  We either find out at 20 weeks or 38, it's still a surprise either way.

Question: Are you going to keep the name a secret... again?
Answer: Yep.

Question: Whhhhhhhyyyyy?????
Answer: Ohmigoodness!  Because I said so!  Oh, and because we like making people angry by not telling them the name, that's why.  (Although this time I will make sure Lance includes the name on the birth post. :)

Question: Wait, so the baby's going in Cole's room?  Where will the other boys go?
Answer: We'll move Josh into the top bunk, Cole into the bottom bunk, and Spencer will get to move into the bedroom in the basement.  (Which will still be the guest room as well.  Lucky Spencer will just have to give up his room when people come to visit.  I had the same privilege when I was a kid; he'll get over it.)

Question: Are you sicker with this pregnancy with the others?
Answer: Yes and no.  I was sickest with Spencer.  I literally threw up just about every day for six months with him.  With Josh I was really sick, but for not as long as this time.  (I was so sick once that the capillaries around my eyes burst.  It was a really good look.)  With Cole I felt sick but hardly threw up at all.  I would say that this one is somewhere between Spencer and Josh.  Regardless, I hate it.

Question: When are you the sickest?
Answer: First thing in the morning and later in the evening.  I feel sick pretty much all the time during the day, but it's manageable.  But by 9:00pm?  Forget it.  I'm worthless.  Just ask poor Lance.

Question: Are you sure you're only 12 weeks?  You look a little... farther along.
Answer: *ahem* I have had three children in the space of five years.  One of them a raging 9lb 15oz boxing dinosaur. I have never been petite or small.  I already had a bit of a belly to begin with.  Ain't no amount of crunches gonna get rid of that, thank you very much.  (Think I could get a tummy tuck after this baby?)

Question: Do you have to have a c-section again?
Answer: Yep.  The risk of hemorrhaging is too great to try a VBAC.  My goal this time around is to not feel any real contractions at all, because there's no reason to.  Plus, they really hurt and I don't really enjoy them.  But I'm not holding my breath - that was the plan with Cole and we all know how that turned out.

Question: You're really not going to tell me the name?
Answer: Don't start with me....