Dear Body,
There's no need to continue with these inconsistent and slightly painful contractions. You don't need to practice or get into shape for delivery day. This babe's getting sliced out of you, remember? No contracting, no pushing, just a rather long and highly uncomfortable recovery.
So you see? These contractions are completely unnecessary.
These contractions hurt and make me tired and also a little nervous - you had better not be planning on going into labor any time soon. I have plans. I have things to do. I have family coming in from out of town and they expect to see a brand new baby, not some old 3 week old.
So knock it off. You're bugging me. And I have fists of death.
You have been warned.
Love,
Me
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