Guest Blogger: Spiderman vs. Harry Potter

In this day and age there are many important and serious topics that we could discuss. Oh well, I don't want to. And neither does my little brother, Kevin, who is my first guest blogger. (A great honor!) Kevin is a Senior at BYU-Idaho. He is majoring in history or political science or something like that. All I know is that he plans on going to law school. (Sorry I can't remember, Kevin. But can you honestly say you remember what I majored and minored in?) Kevin is 23ish, served his mission in Chicago, is a bit obsessed with Zombies and the video game Guitar Hero, has a great sense of humor, and is pretty cute. A good catch. (Am I right, ladies? Oh wait, you're all married. Well, you've got some younger single sisters or friends, right?)

Anywho, Kevin and I have had a long-standing debate: Spiderman vs. Harry Potter in a Deathmatch - who would win? (Yes, my family only debates the important stuff). It seemed timely in this Harry Potter week. I was impressed with Kevin's reply, mainly because I thought I'd just get a few lines and a few insults to me. Who knew he was capable of complex logic and reasoning? Not to mention the grammatical capacity to write a complete sentence! Just kidding. Take it away, Kevin.

BTW, my comments are liberally and Harry-supportingly sprinkled throughout.

I would like to thank Maren for recognizing my superior geek intellect, and though I should be spending my time writing my essay for Constitutional Law, I am writing this response to my sister’s question: Harry Potter vs. Spider-man - Who would win? My qualification for answering this question is that I own and have read Spider-man The Ultimate Guide and know quite a bit about the web slinger. I have also read every single Harry Potter novel and recently came in second in a trivia contest held at the movie theater where I saw The Order of the Phoenix at the midnight showing. I remember having this exact same argument with one of my Aunt Heidi’s kids while I was at the height of my Spider-man fandom and they had just moved from England (on an U.S. Airbase). At the time I thought Harry Potter was gay (Um, hello?! Cho Chang and Ginny Weasley!) and in no way comparable to Spidey. While my perception of Harry has changed drastically over the last few years, I still believe that Spidey would wail on poor Potty. Let me explain.

There are several similarities between Peter Parker and Harry Potter. Both were orphaned at a young age and grew up in their Aunt and Uncle’s home, but obviously Uncle Ben is a lot better to live with than Vernon Dursley. Both heroes have what Hermione calls “a saving people thing.” Spidey makes a living out of it and both Harry and Spidey have gotten into serious trouble from it. Both have lost surrogate fathers because of their mistakes. And both do not possess exactly unique abilities; Harry lives in a world of magic and Spidey in a city with groups like the Avengers and the Fantastic Four.

Harry is followed by his two best friends, Ron and Hermione, almost all the time. Spidey is more of a loner, but he has teamed up with a number of great superheroes, including Captain America and Dr. Strange. Advantage: Harry (since Spidey mostly fights alone) *For reals!*

Harry belongs (kind of) to the Order of the Phoenix. Spidey has belonged to the Avengers (who hasn’t, though) and even the X-Men. Advantage: Spidey *Whoa whoa whoa. I'd much rather belong to a group of wizards than to that motley crew, the Avengers!

Harry has defeated a number of opponents in his six years at Hogwarts: Professor Quarrel, a Basilisk, a legion of Dementors, and has faced Voldemort a number of occasions. Spider-man has faced and defeated such villains as the Green Goblin, Venom, Carnage, Sandman, and the Kingpin, to name just a few. Advantage: Spidey *Yeah, but let's consider the difficulty and the age at which they fought. Harry is much younger and fought much stonger/scarier opponents. So there.

The main difference between the two is experience. Harry has only been a wizard for six years, while Spidey’s adventures have been in multiple comics since 1962! Harry may have started his adventures at a much younger age than Peter, but he still hasn’t gained the skills to beat our favorite web-head. Advantage: Spidey *Pffft. What's 40 years of experience when you have a frickin' wand?*

Both heroes get their mack on with redheads; Harry currently has Hogwarts Heartthrob Ginny Weasley and Peter Parker is married to the famed supermodel/actress Mary Jane Watson. Of course, Harry’s good friend Hermione (actress Emma Watson) gets searched for on the internet quite a bit according to Yahoo! But still, Advantage: Spidey *Um, how would that help Spiderman beat Harry? If anything, that annoying Mary Jane would just get in the way or distract him. Ginny would at least be able to hold her own against any villains!

Peter Parker is a graduate of Empire State College in the comics and Columbia University in the movies. He is a genius and has used his problem solving skills to get out of many tight situations. Harry is still at the greatest wizarding school in the world and shows great ability in practical skills, but lacks a bit in the academic department, having to rely on Hermione to pass several of his classes. However, Harry is able to think on his feet and escape from the traps, like in the Department of Mysteries. Advantage: Tie

Harry is a public figure, having gone through a lot of bad press and rumors since he came to Hogwarts. While Spider-man gets vilified by J. Jonah Jameson in The Daily Bugle, he is able to escape from his alter ego and live regularly as Peter Parker. With this, Harry is able to show maturity beyond his years. Advantage: Harry *That's right, baby!

Spider-man has the ability to climb on walls and hide in the shadows. Harry has his trusty invisibility cloak and can fly on his Firebolt. Advantage: Harry *Being able to fly is way better than web slinging, although Spiderman seems to do alright.

Harry’s main weakness is that if his wand gets knocked out of his hand he is no better than a muggle, except for the occasional magical outburst when he gets really angry. Spidey has been able to beat the Sinister Six when his powers left him temporarily (comics). To win, all Spidey would have to do is either grab Harry’s wand with his webbing, or blind him with the old webbing to the face trick. The only chance Harry would have is that one of his spells hit Spider-man before he is disarmed, but if Spidey can dodge bullets, a spark of light heading at him is nothing. (Spider Sense. Hello!) Advantage: Spidey *Who's to say that magic isn't faster than a bullet? My money's on the magic. And the old webbing to th face trick seems a bit like cheating... which it is!

Lets face it, Harry, as we know him, isn’t skilled enough to go against the arguably greatest Marvel Superhero. Harry may become Bad A in The Deathly Hollows, we just don’t know. We do know that Harry’s greatest asset is his ability to love, which makes him perfect to defeat Lord Voldemort, but not so much against a man with enough strength to lift the Incredible Hulk! Now if Spidey were facing Dumbledore or Voldemort it would be a different story. But that’s another blog entry.

I would love to hear someone else’s opinion of this match and their reasoning behind it. If anyone is interested in predicting the events of book 7, MuggleNet.com (the largest Harry Potter fansite) is having a March Madness-like predicting contest.