Baby Proofing

I'm heading out to Utah this Tuesday with the boys. In order to help my parents get ready for the imminent destruction that is Josh, I sent them the following letter. I thought many of you could probably relate to it!

Dear Dad & Susie,

Here's a list of things you might want to have around the house for our trip. It's mainly Joshie-related because he seems to get into the most trouble and be the most demanding. (A mobile baby getting into trouble and being demanding? Unheard of!)

• Playpen for Josh to sleep in
  
• Electrical outlet covers (he LOVES electrical outlets)
• Cabinet locks for at least under the sink in the kitchen (He has an unhealthy fascination with garbage cans and cleaning supplies.)
  
• Stair gates for the top of the stairs (I highly doubt he will figure out how to climb stairs while we're there, so we won't need one downstairs.)
• One gallon of whole milk
  
• Macaroni and Cheese: both boys LUV it and will demand it at least 684 times while we are there
  
• Snacks (Here are a few favorites: Cinnamon Teddy Grahams, apples, string cheese, grapes, etc.)

Also, here are a few tips that people without mobile babies might not think of. (Hey, we even forgot a lot of these after having Spencer. Every day it's like "oh yeah, I guess a baby would like that!)

• You might want to put all garbage cans up somewhere, unless you like garbage strewn all over the house. Ours are on top of counters and tables and dressers. Hey, I'll try to keep track of him, but I'm only human!
  
• We'll need to keep all the bathroom doors closed all the time. Josh loves the potties (which is not safe or sanitary!) and even more he loves to unroll toilet paper.
• Any books at ground level are fair game as far as he's concerned. He shows no mercy.
• Magazines fare an even worse fate than books. He especially enjoys the delicate taste of TIME, but ironically doesn't seem to enjoy munching on Cooking Light.
  
• Plants on the floor will soon become dirt piles on the floor. If we can't move them up, drape a towel around to hide the dirt. Hopefully that will buy us some time.
• Josh loves remote controls, so keep those up high. If he gets one he will promptly re-program the TV to only speak Japanese, have Malaysian subtitles, and go into sleep mode every 15 minutes. A password that only he knows will be able to fix this. But that's only if you can find where he hides the remote after he is done "playing" with it.
• Any buttons that are on his level will be pressed. Our computer is turned off and on several times a day when we aren't looking; it shows it's gratitude with the "blue screen of death".
• Tablecloths will be pulled off, so don't keep anything on top of the table!
• Don't bother washing the bottom three feet of any windows or other glass!
• Actually, anything three feet and under seems to be fair game. So I'd treat anything breakable or precious as if you were expecting a flood - move it to higher ground! * On the plus side, any food left on the floor will be 'picked up' and 'disposed of', free of charge, by Josh. Or any bugs, fuzz, lint, pebbles, etc. for that matter!

Aren't you glad I'm bringing Maher-shalal-hash-baz and his brother with me?

Love,

Maren