Sicko

Where to begin?  And how much detail to get into?  How 'bout just the bare facts, because, quite frankly, you probably don't want to know all the gory details and I don't really want to relive what was not one of the finer moments in my life.  In fact, I've already started to forget most of the details in order to protect my fragile sanity.  Here we go:

• I started getting sick around 10:00pm Sunday night
• I was up sick all night
• Josh was up sick all night, too.  Lance had to take care of him because I was too busy being sick myself.  Poor Lance even had to clean up after me once.  Lance is husband of the year.
• Cole woke up sick as well.  All over his crib.
• I was sick pretty much all day, and for the space of several hours every 20 minutes
• You would think that your stomach would have a little sensor or something that could tell when it's empty so it wouldn't keep trying to throw everything up.  
• Fact: You would be wrong.
• Cole and Josh could run around and play, stop to throw up, and then keep running around and playing.  I could not.
• Spencer got to stay home for all of this excitement because of the bad weather.  He seemed quite nonplussed about all the sickos around him.
• At one point all I wished for was the sweet, sweet relief of a swift death.  Okay, maybe not death.  But a nice, blissful coma would have been welcomed.
• I called my doctor, and they said that if, after 24 hours, I hadn't kept any liquids down I would have to go into the hospital for IV fluids.
• There was no way in heck I wanted to do that, mainly because I didn't want to have to pay my deductible with only weeks left in the year and then have to pay it again in April!  I know, that's a really lame reason, but it's the truth.
• Finally, after 20 desperate hours I was able to keep a little Gatorade down.  
• Fact: Gatorade never tastes good unless it's the only thing you've been able to keep down for 20 hours.  Then it tastes glorious.
• By the end of the evening all of the boys were in my bed watching the Charlie Brown Christmas Special on YouTube on my laptop.  I don't know why.  I just wanted to sleep.  Then Cole threw up on my bed, so the bedding had to be washed and I couldn't sleep until it was.
• The next morning I was so weak I couldn't even lift Cole out of his crib.  Lance had to stay home again.  
• Fact: Lance is getting a special Christmas present because he had to deal with all of the messes associated with sick kiddos by himself.
• I got up, put some cold cereal in a bowl for Spencer, told Lance to make sure he got on the bus at 10:30am (there was a 2 hour delay) and went back to bed for three hours.
• Then I woke up, drank some more precious, precious Gatorade, and slept a few more hours.  It was very exciting.
• By Tuesday night I wasn't feeling too sick anymore, but I was completely, totally, and all-ecompassingly WIPED OUT.  
• Fact: Having the flu and being pregnant is a nasty combo.
• By Wednesday morning I still felt sick, but Lance had to be back at work and I had to go to the grocery store because it was Spencer's birthday and I had no food in the house - not even enough eggs to make his birthday cake.
• Fact: Spencer would have died if I didn't make him a birthday cake.  So I went to the store and trudged around and got the things I needed and thought some more about dying but didn't.

So here we are.  I feel better again, but still get really tired after doing the most simple things.  The house isn't quite the disaster it was yesterday, but there's still a huge pile of clean laundry on my bedroom floor that isn't going anywhere any time soon.  (Good thing my boys don't care if their clothes are wrinkled.)

• Fact: That which doesn't kill you only makes you stronger?  LIE.