Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Self-portrait: Week 36
Ooooh boy. I think we can all safely agree that this baby has dropped. At my appointment on Thursday the doctor confirmed that she was head down all ready.
Not that I needed him to tell me this. This child has been using my bladder as a pillow for at least a week now. Oy.
Once again, I'm noticing a strange phenomenon that seems to occur every time I get to this point in a pregnancy: people forget to actually think before they speak.
Specifically, they seem to lose all rational thought as to social mores concerning what you should and should not say to a pregnant lady.
More specifically, they seem to feel the undying need to make some sort of comment about the size of my ever-expanding belly. In public. Loudly.
What they should say is something like this: "Wow, Maren, you look great! You're just glowing from head to toe!"
But instead they say something along the lines of: "HOLY COW. You have gotten SO HUGE! When in the world is that baby going to come out? I mean, seriously, you are defying the laws of physics just by walking around!! CAN YOU HEAR ME ABOVE THAT LARGE BELLY OF YOURS, OR SHOULD I SPEAK UP?!"
See, if they actually said the first thing I would totally know they were lying. And that's okay. I'd go along with it and respond with something along the lines of: "Thanks! That's so nice of you!"
But instead I am forced to fake a smile and lie through my teeth when they come at me with the second comment: "Yeah... I'm bigger! Ermm... Thanks!"
When what I really want to say is something along the lines of: "Look, dingus, I KNOW I am getting large. I'M the one who's pregnant; I'M the one who can barely walk because of this dang sciatica and the constant need to pee. But I'm only gonna get larger, and you offering your oh-so-stellar insights into my rather uncomfortable current physical doesn't help anyone, especially me. So, shut it or BEWARE MY FISTS OF DEATH!!!"
And then I would use my fists of death, which is another rather violent post altogether.
Anywho, let this be a warning to you about what you say to pregnant women. Or you might just have to deal with her fists of death.
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4 comments:
I'm so sorry for all your discomfort. Though my first thought was, Holy Cow! I can only say that because I am 2000 miles away and your fists of death can't reach me.
YOWZA Maren!
And I mean that in the most loving, super-excited-for-you way possible.
It's a good thing Fists of Death can't be used through the interwebs.
sorry to comment when i don't know you, but i found your blog through andrea davis'. So - dumb pregnancy comments. I'm so with you on that! People would never comment to a non-pregnant woman about her size, so what compels them to say it to a pregnant lady. sigh... i'm pregnant with #5 and am dreading those 3rd trimester comments. Good Luck with the rest of your pregnancy. Oh - and i'm with ya on the getting sliced open thing. i'll have c-section #5.
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