1. The amount of help you want from your children is inversely proportional to the amount of help they are willing to give.
a) Example 1: Painting a rocking chair - no help needed (or wanted, for that matter).
You will not be able to beat off all of your little helpers with a stick. Or bribe them away. Or distract them with anything whatsoever. ("Look! I bought you hover-bikes. Go play with them. Away from my paint." "No thanks, Mommy. I want to help you paint.")
b) Example 2: Cleaning up the living room, which has been declared a Federal Disaster Area - FEMA cannot be counted on for aid, so you need (and want) all the help you can get.
You can beg, plead, bribe, and yell, but there is no way in this world you will be able to get your two year old to put his dirty socks where they belong. And your five year old? "I can't help you clean, Mommy, I'm too tired. And this is not my mess," he claims, as he stands in the middle of a pile of his toys that have mysteriously appeared in the living room of their own accord.
2. The size of a mess is inversely proportional to the amount of time you have before your toddler discovers the mess and makes it worse.
a) Example 1: A bottle of bubble solution is spilled on the garage floor, making a huge, slick puddle - your toddler will be in that mess within mere nano-seconds.
You have just five minutes of painting left and you don't want to stop to clean up the mess. But before you can even say "Don't you dare step in that bubble puddle!", your barefoot toddler has stepped in it, slipped, rolled around in it like a wallowing pig, and is quite literally covered from head to foot in bubble solution. And he refuses to be cleaned without putting up a tremendous fight.
b) Example 2: There are three small crackers left right in front of the TV - your toddler would take a week to discover these (if ever).
Despite the fact that the crackers are, quite literally, under his nose as he stands 6" from the screen, he will ignore them until judgment day. Or until you finally decide to pick them up, at which time he will freak out because they "were his".
3. How much the kids beg to go outside is inversely proportional to how good the weather is.
a) Example 1: It's a perfect 72 degrees, with a light breeze and a few clouds - the kids will refuse to play outside.
You will have to trick them to go outside and then 'accidentally' lock the door. How long you have to listen to them whine and complain at the back door depends on how long you can ignore them.
b) Example 2: It's snowing, sleeting, thundering and lightening, showering hail the size of golf balls and a tornado has been spotted - the kids will beg for 16 hours to be let outside.
And once you finally give in, bundle them up, and let them out, they will be back inside within five minutes.
a) Example 1: Painting a rocking chair - no help needed (or wanted, for that matter).
You will not be able to beat off all of your little helpers with a stick. Or bribe them away. Or distract them with anything whatsoever. ("Look! I bought you hover-bikes. Go play with them. Away from my paint." "No thanks, Mommy. I want to help you paint.")
b) Example 2: Cleaning up the living room, which has been declared a Federal Disaster Area - FEMA cannot be counted on for aid, so you need (and want) all the help you can get.
You can beg, plead, bribe, and yell, but there is no way in this world you will be able to get your two year old to put his dirty socks where they belong. And your five year old? "I can't help you clean, Mommy, I'm too tired. And this is not my mess," he claims, as he stands in the middle of a pile of his toys that have mysteriously appeared in the living room of their own accord.
2. The size of a mess is inversely proportional to the amount of time you have before your toddler discovers the mess and makes it worse.
a) Example 1: A bottle of bubble solution is spilled on the garage floor, making a huge, slick puddle - your toddler will be in that mess within mere nano-seconds.
You have just five minutes of painting left and you don't want to stop to clean up the mess. But before you can even say "Don't you dare step in that bubble puddle!", your barefoot toddler has stepped in it, slipped, rolled around in it like a wallowing pig, and is quite literally covered from head to foot in bubble solution. And he refuses to be cleaned without putting up a tremendous fight.
b) Example 2: There are three small crackers left right in front of the TV - your toddler would take a week to discover these (if ever).
Despite the fact that the crackers are, quite literally, under his nose as he stands 6" from the screen, he will ignore them until judgment day. Or until you finally decide to pick them up, at which time he will freak out because they "were his".
3. How much the kids beg to go outside is inversely proportional to how good the weather is.
a) Example 1: It's a perfect 72 degrees, with a light breeze and a few clouds - the kids will refuse to play outside.
You will have to trick them to go outside and then 'accidentally' lock the door. How long you have to listen to them whine and complain at the back door depends on how long you can ignore them.
b) Example 2: It's snowing, sleeting, thundering and lightening, showering hail the size of golf balls and a tornado has been spotted - the kids will beg for 16 hours to be let outside.
And once you finally give in, bundle them up, and let them out, they will be back inside within five minutes.
No comments:
Post a Comment