Have You Ever Been...

... so willing to get out of making raspberry trellises for your wife that you shoved a very sharp object halfway through your thumb?

And then bled everywhere - including on your 3 year old daughter, who was 'helping' you - and rushed into the kitchen?

And then, while your wife was wrapping your thumb in gauze, you turned a ghastly shade of green and said "I think I'm gonna pass ouuuuu.....". And then you did and your wife had to catch you and lay you on the floor?

And then you woke up a few seconds later and were dazed and confused and asked - three times - how you got on the floor?

And then you tried to get up but your wife had to get mean with you and forced you to lay on the floor while she had your 8 year old go put away all the wood from the project so he wouldn't freak out because he walked in on his dad laying passed out on the kitchen floor?

And then she made you drink out of a Sesame Street water bottle, because that was the closest cup on hand with a lid?

And then your wife heard the garage door opening, which made no sense because no one should have been going in or out that way and your three year old was wandering around who knows where, so she had to leave you on the floor with a pillow under your head? But then, when she finally came back in you were standing up, stilling looking rather green and still quite confused about what had happened?

And then, after you and your wife decided that your injury did not require stitches, you passed out - again - as she wrapped it up - again?

And then your three year old - who you slightly bled on earlier - patted you on the back and said "There there, you're okay, Daddy..."?

And then your wife made you go lay down and take a nap?

Lance has.

(Poor Lance. No wonder he never willingly watched our children being born.)