Mothering Instruction Manual

Yesterday was one of those days where I could have really used some sort of mother instruction manual.

It started with a trip to the pediatrician for Cole.

In December Josh started complaining about Cole snoring. But Josh complains about a lot of stuff and Cole had a cold, so whatever Josh, buck it up. But then in January I walked by the boys' closed bedroom door and could hear Cole sawing logs. Loud enough to make his Grandpa Roper proud. So I checked on him about every other night for a few weeks, and he was snoring the majority of the time. This is not normal behavior for a 6 year old.

So we went to the pediatrician, only this wasn't our regular pediatrician because she was out recovering from back surgery. And I was a little put out by this (How dare our DOCTOR need medical care?!), but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. This pediatrician knew exactly what to look for because she had been dealing with the exact same thing with her 14 year old daughter!

First she checked Cole's tonsils. The right one is so swollen and angry that it's actually pushing against the other tonsil! She was pretty impressed.

Side note: My family has a history of impressing doctors with weirdish medical maladies. For example, in college I had a double ear infection and then an allergic reaction to the medicine I had been prescribed. I walked into the the BYU medical center, where an ANCIENT doctor (seriously, he had to have been at least 75) exclaimed my ear infections were the worst he had ever seen in his whole career. Awesome. Then, my mom was diagnosed with 3 C Mucinous Adenocarcinoma, low malignant potential mucinous tumor (pseudomíxoma peritonei). Basically, a super rare form of cancer. The doctors were all very impressed and anxious to study her. And when Cole was a toddler he contracted some super-rare bacteria in his ears that had his ENT drilling me about whether or not we had been out of the country recently. (The answer: No. Are you SURE? was his reply. Because this is REALLY rare.)

Anyways. Cole has weirdo tonsils. Then she looked up his nose and was impressed with how little room there was in there. He wasn't congested, his airways are just almost non-existent.

And then she asked "Have you ever noticed how he breathes?" Um, no.

Turns out Cole exclusively breathes through his mouth. Because he pretty much can't through his nose. HOW HAVE I NEVER NOTICED THIS?!?!

The doctor was really nice about it and tried to make me feel better by explaining that moms don't generally notice stuff like that because that's just how their kids are. Moms are used to it. In fact, she didn't notice it in her daughter and she's a doctor, for Pete's sake. That made me feel a little better.

Then she did a strep swab on the poor kid because his lymph nodes were swollen, and it turns out that he has strep, although probably inactive since he doesn't have any other symptoms. But she still put him on some antibiotics just to be safe and cover all bases, although she really thinks his issues are chronic, not symptomatic.

So we're gonna go see an ENT; I suspect a tonsillectomy is in Cole's future.

As if this weren't enough, I could have also used a mother manual last night. Cole had been sick last weekend but was all better and had even been to school. So I let him come along with us to piano lessons. (He likes to play with the toys and see his buddies Dallin and Connor.) ((He's still not sure about baby Bennett.))

So yeah. Turns out he WASN'T better, and threw up all over their toilet.

I was MORTIFIED. Seriously, you're making me look like a terrible mother, kid.

So I cleaned up the bathroom for them, because it was the least I could do. And I swore up and down that I thought he was better, really and truly. And then I made him hold a plastic bag on the way home because throw up in the car? No thank you.

And then on the way home I started feeling sick. We got home and I started feeling sicker and sicker. It was a long night. I still don't feel well, but I'm doing okay enough to get Spencer and Josh off to school. (Cole obviously has to stay home and Tess has thankfully agreed to skip pre-k today because I just don't wanna take her and if there's a germ cesspool it's pre-k and we could use a break from the germs, thanks.)

I'm not quite sure how to end this post other than maybe I don't need a mothering instruction manual so much as a mothering vacation! (I don't see any of those in the near future, though.)